Saturday, 1 November 2014

#MySexySaturday (17)

Week 66 and it’s date night!!! All trimmed, shaven, cleaned out, and ready for what the night may bring. Now, for me that’s sexing, because, let’s face it, when you need to bring a date night into your life, it means life has gotten a wee bit full and there ends up being no fun loving time between yours.

My weekly sexy is just that, that one night a week when my MC’s get together for some fun between the sheets.

“Patience,” Paul murmured as he scrapped his nails lightly down Matt’s vertebrae. He watched the skin prickle in their wake.
“Fuck patience! Just slick up and fuck me!” Matt’s words sounded like a threat, even as his body opened up under Paul’s touch.
Matt and Paul had shared a bed regularly enough that Paul had an intimate understanding of Matt’s body. One of the things he’d learnt was that Matt adored having his back scratched; just a slight scrape would have his eyes rolling into the back of his head, his back arching, and pleading for more.
With his other hand, fingers slicked up, Paul ran them slowly down the other man’s arse crack. It had become a fun little game for him, extending Matt’s pleasure. Matt was always in a rush, and making him slow down and enjoy these moments they shared gave Paul a rush. He wasn’t really sure how to explain this.
The tips of Paul’s fingers were so sensitive he could feel the most minute shifting of muscles as he circled the opening of Matt’s body. He registered the slightest movement, pausing to see if the muscles were ready to allow him in. Paul’s mouth filled with moisture as Matt's muscles twitched against the pads of his fingers.
Paul smiled. He hadn’t been as sensitive to these particular movements with anyone else, that hesitant moment of his body protesting before letting go. He’d never realised with any other lover what he was being given was a gift. With all the others he’d just pushed on in and taken. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to figure out why this man was so different, but maybe it was simply because he enjoyed the regular visits, and if he treated Matt like crap he might not keep coming back.
“Paul, fuck me, please!” Matt screamed into the mattress, muffling the sound slightly. A back scratch, a slight rimming of fingers, and Matt was already at the point of needing to bite down on something.
Paul couldn’t help but smile; those simple things made it all so much more fun.

So I might have gone one paragraph to far :P

And onto the pimping and other random facts linked to this hop

Friday, 31 October 2014

Guest Post @Prism Book Alliance

I'm at Guest, where I talk Love Without Knowing It & Movember

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Just Me Book Review: ‘Running Scared’ Bronwyn Heeley
I just finished ‘Running Scared’ by: Bronwyn Heeley. I found it to be well written and very suspenseful. I hated the fact I had to pause in the middle of reading to run an errand. I felt like I was with him the whole time he was running. While I was reading in a way I knew what was going to happen but instead of feeling let down it just made me want to keep reading. The bonus story ‘Hunted’ was just as good, you could feel the pain and fear as he was feeling it. A big Thank you to Bronwyn Heeley for the chance to read ‘Running Scared’ and to review your story.

So it’s live, woohoo!! And free on Smashwords and ARe through the 31st (if I’ve done it right). I really hope you check these two stories out, there short, and quick and yeah they might not hold romance, but there are highly emotionally driven, and like the review above, I have heard nothing but goodness from the few people who have read them.

Now, I haven’t said anything about this yet, because my week has been frantic, but I’m joining a bunch of awesome authors in a 24 hour chat. Mine starts, well 10pm for me today, and 4am for the other side of the world, tomorrow (though it’s your today)

RGR Presents: 24 Hour Halloween Marathon LGBT Chat 

I’m up there with AJ Truman, Taylin Clavelli, Mary Calmes & Catherine Leivens, so really looking forward to meeting them, and even more excited if you guys could come along and chat it up with us all.

I believe that’s all that’s left to say today. I’m just tired, and excited and overwhelmed, and my week just keeps on going and going.

Please, though, check out my books, especially try and get a hold of them in the next couple of days, if you can buy outside of Amazon since they are free – and both companies hold mobi & PDF files.


Smashwords coupon: SJ36N


Thursday, 30 October 2014

Love Without Knowing It, Character Interview

So… little worried about this, it’s my first character interview and I’ll tell you its really weird because in one way I’m, what interviewing myself, and another way I’m not. It’s really weird to get your head around. Then there’s the point that I’ve never done an interview before. Hell, I’ve hardly ever read any, so there’s the fear that nothing that will come with be interesting, still, this is what I’ve got, you wanna meet the boys?
Note: this interview was conducted before the book finished and I haven't been able to schedule an update yet. Too much calendar conflict, though I'm hoping to get something out of them the Christmas Party
Hello gentlemen, while don’t you introduce yourself for us
Matt, grinning: seems a little like an support meeting, hey, I’m Matt and I’ve got prostate cancer, I’m average height, with brown hair, blue—
Paul laughs cutting Matt off: and I’m Paul, the caregiver 
Before we really get into things, why don’t you promote yourselves a little so we can understand why we should care?
Paul sighs: our story is short, its starts with finding out Matt is sick and how we deal with that fact
Matt scoffs, hitting Paul: you’re full of shit Paul. Like, yeah that’s the bare bones of things. I am sick, what we know now, very, but it’s about Paul realising he loves me and can’t live without me. It’s about the fact that in a moment of total terror on my side this man decided to change the rules and let me know how he felt.
I guess it was sweet, and man do I love him, had since the moment I laid eyes on him, but hell, it’s stressful being sick, especially from a sickness you try really hard not to think yourself into having when it’s most likely you do.
Paul: now you’re not making any fucking sense.
Let’s go like this, because I think it’s the easiest way to say it. This book is about love, mine for Matt. About me pulling my head out of my arse, and coming clean before I lose him. Which, if you think about it is a bit fucked up, especially when that person you love might not live much longer.
Sorry if I’m making it seem complex, but the prostate cancer is a part of it. it’s a part of what brings us together, but it’s not the main point, hell, we only really share those moments from going to the doctor and coming out with the test results, which is surprisingly short window in time.
Saying this, it’s a love story, it’s got a happily ever after, and is about my overbearing feelings and his need for me in his life to look after him, because cancer is scary.
Where are you now, Matt, did they get it all?
Matt grips Paul’s hand: ah, yeah, we caught it early so it had only really effected one side of my prostate and it was located to the one area, so they cut it out and I’m in my third round of Chemo at the moment.
And how are you feeling?
Matt: it’s been… I feel like shit, sleeping more than I’m awake, and even when I am, I have no energy. I have no fluids in my body, ‘cause the Chemo destroys all that so I’m constipated and that makes me feel worse.  I don’t really care about anything, I’ll just sit there looking into space, not a thought in my head.
Paul: we had been told the worse and so far, he’s been pretty good, though that first week is always hard, he’s sick and lost.
I won’t lie, it gets scary sometimes. He’ll just sit there, not seeing anything, not saying anything, just sits until he’s eyes start to drop and then he’s off to bed again.
Is that normal?
Paul: the support program people say so, it’s kinda person-to-person, and it might be a lot different if we knew each other more. If we’d spent more time together, because all I want to do is get to know him, and for most of the week, he’s not really with me.
And now I sound like I’m bitching
Matt smiled: a little.
Paul returns the smile: fucker.
It’s one of those things, even though we’ve been seeing each other for a long time, it’s all brand new again but having to go through something like this. it’s stressful and it’s heartbreaking because you see this person you love, this bright light at the uttermost lowest, and because it’s so new a lot of the time I don’t feel like I should be there, like I shouldn’t be the one holding his hand, sitting next to him. Just being in a room so he doesn’t have to feel alone.
Yet, I don’t want to leave, and not just because he has no one else to look after him, but because this is a low, and me being here means something. It shows that since I’m here through sickness I’m going to be awesome at health.
I know it’s selfish of me, but I can’t not be here for him. I can’t not sit by his side and think and hope that when he’s better we’ll be able to start that life he wants so much. Because we will, this isn’t going to beat him, and it’s certainly not going to beat me.
I’m here for good. Then Paul leans in and kisses Matt, just a brush, against slightly parted lips.
Matt takes a deep breath: and that’s why I love this man. He sounds chocked up, proud.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who know surprising little about prostate cancer, but from what I knew it was something that happened to older men
Matt: and that’s one of the hug misconceptions about the disease, like yeah, the old you are the more likely to get it, but it’s like all cancer, anyone at any time can get it. My father got it when he was in his forties, and lucky me I get to have it in my twenties.
Paul: it’s kinda like breast cancer, I believe, that by a certain age everyone needs to be tested, because, like Matt said the likely hood and all. However, if there’s strong family history then you testing age becomes a younger age.
Now saying this, Matt wouldn’t have even thought of being tested for it, at his age. Hell, most men his age wouldn’t have gone in as early as he did—I know I wouldn’t—and that’s one of the biggest reason for men dying that we don’t go and get tested, therefore by the time it’s effecting us and we have no chose, it’s already too late.
And saying this, they leave it until it’s in the blood, or the bones, and that’s when your truly fucked.
We were lucky, not only for the fact that Matt’s was caught early enough that it was still isolated, but that only one part of his prostate was infected, which means that he’s sex life wasn’t nearly as affected by the procedure as a lot of men’s are.
Matt: which is a big relief, I’ll tell you
Paul: it’s not more an old man’s disease and any of the cancer are. Yeah, things can happen or you can do something that makes your likelihood of getting cancer stronger, but that doesn’t mean if you don’t do those things that you’re free.
Cancer isn’t picky, it’ll take anyone, and we are lucky, as well as still in the dark ages when it comes to prostate cancer. It may only be a blood test to determine if you have it or not, but you still have to go for a biopsy and that’s… well, yeah… doesn’t sound pleasant.
Matt: doesn’t fucking feel it either
All right I feel it’s getting long and we should wrap up this chat, I’m not sure what else to ask that isn’t going to give the whole book away, lol, but is there anything else you guys want to say before we wrap up
Paul: read the book, visit the site, and make sure yourself and your men are looking after their bodies, they only have one, and it ain’t pleasant going through what we are. not that we could have helped it, but I’m for one am glad beyond words, that I’ll still have Matt for many many years after all this is over.
Matt looks at Paul: okay…
Paul: what, it’s true.
Matt: never said it wasn’t
Also, read the book, it’s a short read that is sweet and important and we are happy in our ever after, promise.
And just a little reminder, here’s the book details again *smiles* thanks for checking in with us. We hope you enjoy our story
When everything Paul had ever known turned upside down, suddenly he needs to man up and fight for the love he’s always feared.
Paul’s life was set. He had what he needed and what he was comfortable with. Then a night with one of his regular lovers pulls him into the drama of sickness, love, and death.
In the end, Paul needs to work a few things out first: Is he strong enough to fall in love with a man that may need more than he’s able to give, or will he fall into old habits and run when the relationship gets too complicated?
Love Without Knowing It by Bronwyn Heeley
(November #1)
Publish 1 November 2014 by Bony Dee
Contemporary Romance
Amazon ǀ Smashwords ǀ ARe ǀ B&N
Note: though the month of November 2014 all profits from this book will be donated to the Movember charity


Alright everyone, I've got winners!!!

I'll email if i can in a few hours, because it's bed time for me right now, and im not getting up. But i'm having a first come first served, so email me. Your first pick, second & what format you want it all in, and i'll work it out in the-my- morning :)

Quick update, since i forgot to add my email : beeheeley(@)gmail(.)com

Thanks for entering, hope to see ya al next time 

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

We’re All Running Scared

This year I decided, late in the game, that I would write a horror story, only problem was, well, I was more dedicated to the idea than the story was to be written. Only a few weeks ago had I completed it, and I’m hoping this week sometime that it will be ready for publishing.

I love the idea of this story. I like the twist ending that I think actually hold well, even if I thought I was making myself to obvious. However, it has worked and it’s so close to being ready that if I didn’t care enough about spelling and grammar it would already be out.

This book, and the bonus story you’ll even get with it, or as a separate free download, hold the same type of run. Because that’s what this short is. Running. It’s being shit scared, running, and finally making it to the end to realise…shit. Was it worth it? Was it?! Well you’re going to have to read it to find out

Anyway, I’m hoping it’ll be out by the end of the month, because it’ll be a great little read to get you in the Halloween mood.
The trip to the bathroom happened quickly. I woke up in a fury of limbs and flesh with a bladder pressing at me to move.
Once the stream started, the pressure eased, my shoulders relaxed and I winced before rolling my shoulders against the stiffness, making me realise it wasn’t only my shoulders that hurt.
My arms felt heavy as they dangled at my side, shifting pulled muscles from wrist to elbows. My thighs bunched as I shifted, fatigue making them twitch as I groaned while turning from the toilet to the sink.
My fingers curled around the cool edging, my head hung low, trying not to hurt when all I felt like doing was crumpling onto the ground and going back to sleep.
“What the fuck happened to me?” The words whispered against the tiles, bouncing back at me making me flinch from the loudness, the stupidity of the statement.
The dream flashed at me, tying me down in a world that wasn’t real, and yet it felt that way. It felt as if something had shifted themselves into my body and experienced a life I hadn’t been a part of.
Yet, I couldn’t remember, couldn’t understand what was happening, couldn’t get away from an impression of death and pain, but the vision in colour never came. I never saw anything I could link to.
Dreams were powerful, I understand that; this hadn’t been the first time a dream had felt as if I’d walked it, rather than slept through it. My eyes gazed up into the mirror, habit really, I system of vanity we were all caught up in, like checking yourself out as you walked passed a shop window.
I gasped at what I saw. Adrenalin pushed up through me fast. The mirror was smashed, as if an ashtray smashed into the shiny surface at least twice, only with the bloodstain splattered here and there, it became obvious that a fist made those marks, and made them without a thought of the pain it would cause.
I stumbled back trying to get away from the image. Trying to get away from the jagged spikes that had tumbled onto the floor, making it look dirty and used.
My arms hit the doorframe as I pulled myself through the door, trying to get away. I needed to get away.
My body froze as I got one step into the main room. I felt nothing, thought nothing as my heart beat, hard, heavy, the only sound coming from the vein in my neck.
The room was trashed. How I didn’t see it when I first got up I don’t know, but then I didn’t remember anything until this moment, and even that was sketchy.
The bedding was twisted up on the bed. for some reason that was the first thing I noticed and though it wasn’t anything different than what I’d normally be looking at after a night slept in a bed, it seemed to make my stomach bubble.
The small table that had been in the corner near the windows was missing three legs as it rested against the wall where the head of the bed was. I realised one corner had to be sticking into the wall.
The chair, I’d guess, was the scattered wood near the door, the little screen that held the fire-drill, hidden behind a scratched up plastic had been ripped off.
The cupboard had been turned inside out, one of the doors taken off its hinges.
The picture had been cut up, one side flopping down against the top of the headboard. The walls were smeared with a light brown colour that I was reluctant to call blood, mostly because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep my stomach content down otherwise.
What had happened here? Had I done this? Did I lose my sanity for a moment where I went ape shit and just picked up everything there was and turned the pain in my chest into something physical? I didn’t think so, even with my arms throbbing at my side as I took in the damage. There’d be something there, a memory. Something was missing, something obvious and pointed, and yet I was shying away.
Or had a rock band come in and partied hard while I was sleeping? Gang banged me until I passed out? It definitely would have been the better option, though again I would have had some form of memory—mostly because I’d want to keep hold of it.
What the fuck was going on? Why was I caught in the middle of some madman’s schemes? What had I done in my life to deserve this?
A spider crack in the window caught my attention, I swallowed hard around a lump as I stepped closer to the window, and the bright red smudges that slid down the…outside.
I sighed; it was on the outside. Thank fuck it was on the outside. I just wish the guilt from that sigh wasn’t starting to pinch at my gut.
A fly to shit, my eyes caught on the blood, curiosity and I was a fucking cat, as my feet moved closer and closer. I was at the point of putting my nose against the glass, hell I could feel the cold licking at my skin as I tried to look past the window. I may not be the best at savvy quotes, which seemed to directly relate to me thinking I could see over and around the lip of a closed window, smothered in blood and cracked glass.
The window clicked open, I knew it was me, but I still couldn’t help myself from continuing to open it. I could give the excuse of never been able to pass by a crime scene. It would be true, if I’d ever been in the vicinity of a crime scene, which I hadn’t. Maybe that was why I was so curious of what was on the other side of the window. What had made that damage?
I ended up opening it all the way, each inch the window went higher the need to see grew stronger, and I couldn’t stop.
I was oddly nervous, as I got closer, having to in order to get the window all the way up. The wind blew against my skin, cool and crisp, with an underlying smell of garbage. It was dark, inky black with a light glow just along the bottom line of the window. I understood that came from lights on the street.
Licking my lips, I looked over the edge, and saw something... I couldn’t be sure what it was, but the shine had me guessing a shoe.
My head went next, my fingers linked against the sharp wood. The air got dense as the weather and smell pushed at me. I leaned over, needing to see, needing to know what had landed on the ground.
The body looked fake, something out of a crime show. I even got the flash of bright yellow outline, though clearly, the line wasn’t there, but the fakeness lingered.
It seemed that out of everything that happened on cop shows, there was definitely one thing they’d gotten right, because the body on the ground looked like a rag doll all crumpled up. With a dark pool around him that couldn’t have been anything other than the blood and guts of the body above it.
 “Do you like it?” a voice sounded behind me.

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Welcome All

It’s so funny, you come to points in your life that you think you’re handling a lot better than you really are. This is one of them for me.

Love Without Knowing it, means so much to me. not just the book, but the series, the idea that I had and the fact that I’m still so passionate about this idea, about this charity and about the book I wrote back in January this year.

I’m not going to get into this book that much now, and it’s something I’ve debated for the last month now, but it’s more important to promote the charity then it is my book, and therefore the reasons behind this book. The charity I’m raising money for, by publishing this book, will all come to light in November, as of now, just know that this one means a lot to me. a lot more than all the other books I’ve published so far.

Now, that I wrote it in a way to give awareness to the men in your life. To show you in a way the light and the stress. To have you understand parts of a sickness that is still killing too many of our males. and it’s done in a light, sweet, happily ever after way.

I decided on this mostly because I think it makes for a better read, for something more will read because there isn’t anything horrible in it. It’s just a love story, full stop. It’s a short little love story with a message that I hope everyone takes to heart.

Before we get to the excerpt, you should take a moment to click over to Multitaskingmommas for a review and the first excerpt of this book.

           Excerpt #2
Paul hated this feeling of dread. Being home in Matt’s apartment wasn’t helping. He hated not knowing what to say, what to do. He hated this fear, this guilt, this threat that he was going to lose his mate.
He felt a driving need to interrogate Matt for more information even though he knew Matt had told him everything he could. Why couldn’t he see that Paul was going insane with the need to know more? He needed every bit of information he could possibly get this hands on.
That started with the internet. He needed it now. His fingers itched to do some research, but he didn’t want to be one of those people who went onto Dr Google and found the worst possible diagnoses’ straight away. Honestly, he just needed something to do more than anything else. Paul knew it wasn’t the right moment to start interrogating his lover, and he also knew Matt definitely wasn’t up for the nitty gritty of it all.
A deep shuddered intake of breath from nearby had Paul turning to Matt, who appeared to be using every bit of will power he had not to cry. Paul felt his own chest tighten a little more.
“Tea or coffee?” Paul asked, aiming to distract even if his words came out scratchy.
Slightly glassy eyes looked up, but their gazes never quite met. Matt cleared his throat before he replied, “Tea please, two sugars and a touch of milk would be nice. And a Tim-Tam if there’s any left…”
The sound of anguish in Matt’s voice made Paul’s throat close and his eye sting. He needed a moment alone, just as much as he thought Matt did.
Filling the jug with enough water to make two cuppas, Paul flicked it on and then rested his hands on the bench as he sucked back the need to cry. He could do this. He could do this with Matt. He could be everything Matt needed him to be. A rock. The strength that would hold him up. Weird, he had never done anything like this before.
He took a deep calming breath, gathered all these intense and untested emotions into a tight ball, and tucked them just under his heart. He would analyse and deal with them later. Right now was for Matt. Tea.
He’d made a promise that he wouldn’t leave Matt alone all day. He hoped he didn’t have to leave through any of this, but that was neither practical nor reasonable for either of their mental health. The thing was he had no intention of letting Matt deal with any of this alone, and until someone else showed up to help, Paul was what Matt got.
With the tea ready, he carried the two cups and a packet of biscuits under his arm, making a bit of noise as he entered the room. He pretended not to notice Matt wiping his nose with the bottom of his shirt.
“Here.” Paul gently handed him his cup.
“Ta,” Matt replied, his smile watery, but thankful.
They didn’t speak much as they drank their tea. Nor did either of them turn on the telly. They just sat in the silence of the world, both separately pondering what the future may hold.
Paul tried multiple times to come up with something to say, but he just couldn’t find anything. Nothing. Not a thing.
He had a moment of fear that he might be intruding too much into Matt’s life. Was he stepping over the line? Did Matt secretly want him gone? Stupid thoughts really, because deep down he understood he was already neck deep in a complicated relationship with Matt. The longer they sat in this comfortable silence the more uncomfortable it became for Paul, as if he was trying to fit his feet into shoes two sizes too small. Awkward really, yet he was more than happy to squeeze himself into the fuckers. Anything to help Matt know he wasn’t in this on his own.
“You don’t have to stay, ya know.”
“I know,” he mumbled back, wondering what he could do to change, to lift the mood of the moment. His eyes flicker over Matt as he spoke, watching his shoulders sag. Was it relaxation, relief, or disappointment? Paul wasn’t sure, but he’d be damned if he was going to leave without explicit instructions.
“So, you ever gonna tell me what the doc said?” Paul asked as he settled further into the lounge. He hooked his ankle over his knee, making sure his whole attention never left Matt.
“I did. He said he was worried, but not because of the swollen prostate alone, more the lumps along the rectum wall.”
“Not worried about…dude, your prostate was as big as a peach.”
Matt rolled his eyes. A smile lifted up his lips; it did a lot to help soothe some of those worries in Paul’s chest. “You’re exaggerating, mate.”
Paul lifted a brow. “Seriously, the fucker rubbed at my cock head when I was fully planted.”
Matt laughed. “He thought that maybe I had an infection.”
“That’s…really—is that true?”
Matt shrugged. “It’s what he said. He was honestly more worried about the lumps than the prostate itself. Dude, I think it’s weird too, but it’s the truth. Why would I lie?”
“I guess, though it’s a gland, so if ya got like glandular fever or something it might blow up a little.”
Matt laughed hard. “I can just see it now, ‘Oh, your throat’s sore, just drop trou and let’s get a gander at that prostate.’”
It felt so good to laugh.
They let things slide after that, and if Paul was totally honest with himself, he didn’t particularly want to talk about it anymore. He needed a break. Selfish of him, yes, and he was probably going to get an ulcer from the guilt, but at least it gave Matt a bit of timeout as well.
Paul wasn’t sure how long they’d sat there before Matt got up and went to the toilet. Paul cleaned up the cups.
A sharp crash from the bathroom had his feet running in that direction before his brain could catch up.
“Matt?” He knocked on the door. “Matt, what’s going on? Are you okay?” He gripped the doorhandle and turned. Thank-fuck it was unlocked. There had been some form of mumbled answer, but Paul hadn’t been able to understand it.
Matt was standing over the toilet, cock in his hand, pointing down into the bowl with a pinched look on his face…
“Can’t piss,” Matt whispered as he looked up at Paul.