Monday, 26 September 2016

Temporarily Closed

Due to real life stresses, no internet and just flat out exhaustion I am sorry to say that my blog will be closed until further notices. I'm hopeful we will be up and running again before Christmas but I'm not truely sure. It'll all depend on what happens over the next month or two.

Thank you all for sticking with me and I hope to have exciting news when I get back on here. If you want to find me elsewhere, I'm still as active as I can be at present in Facebook. Just look up my name and when you hit the rainbow butterfly friend me :)


Thursday, 15 September 2016

Big News that Changes Nothing

So like the title of this post says nothing I’m about to say is new, or kinda is. None of it is anything I haven’t said before, and more so could change before I get to it, though I doubt it. I think this is where I need to go, where my writing is taking me. And I also need to find a job, which means I need to get a degree of some sort as I’ve not worked in 10 years, actually think it’s been longer then that since my son is 10 turning 11 early next year and I wasn’t working a few months before being pregnant. So, shit, nearly 12 years. That’s a long time for not working, especially when you want something specific rather than whatever you can get mean I have to go back to school.

To do that I need money, which means sitting on plans until I have it. So the next two to three years I’m saving and hopefully studying.

Anyway, what’s the nothing changed, but changing. In 2019 I will be changing from writing short stories. I am not a romance writer and I think I need to actually stop. Or at least see if I can do Heeley in a different way… well really I’m just going to stop writing short stories, and that’s not really true either as I will be it won’t be the same. I’m going to become a novel writer. I think that’s what my style of writing needs, plus I can write romance I’m just not a romance writer and I know that seems contradictory but it’s true.

I’m going to write 2 novels a year 1 McGee book and 1 Heeley book, and if I write more that’s cool, if I through in a few short stories here and there, then that’s what I do, but 100K a year is about as max as I’m going to go. Because I can’t make it as an author, not where I am. Not what I’m doing and so I need to stop kidding myself and look to the future.

So in 2019 my 2nd YA novel from McGee will most likely be McAllister: Chasing Shadows, or whatever title I put on that cover. It’s actually a shorter novel as I’m looking at around 40K

My First Heeley novel will be from An Alphas World. My second will be a cowboy vampire story. Both will feature a romance but it’ll be different, more my style and longer.

Fingers crossed I can pull a novel off, because I truly believe it’s the only way I’ll be notices because I’m not a romance writer, my style is to different and in novel form that won’t be as farfetched.

So in the two years to come I’ll be finishing off series I need to finish in order to pull this off. Which means you will get

An Alphas world 2 and 3
Encounter Space 3 – 4
And something else that isn’t ready to be spoken about.

I’m also most likely going to be shutting down my blog, in a way, and reopening it to be something different, something I’d prefer it to be. Something more personal. I’ll give links for people to find other options elsewhere, but being as I have a newsletter now, and that I’m just struggling with computer issues and most likely will be for the next 6 months at a min. that it’s safe to say this could be one of my last post.

I’m hopeful that this isn’t true, but I honestly need to get a lot of thing off my plate, I need to finish things up and get ready for October next year and I’m getting distracted by life and that’s not helping anyone.

I will make it more official, depending on what I feel, I think for me right now jumping into anything quickly is a bad idea, so I’ll take the 1.5 weeks for me moving house and then the 2 weeks of my children being on school holidays to rethink my priorities and what I want and need to do. Schedule and make lists and I’ll be getting back to you with what I decide. Which sucks because I was just getting the hang of this whole people caring but it’s stress I don’t need and I also need to think of the future but along with that need to tie up some lose ends on my past and to take the time to create me as something that I can deal with whole working, and living and at the moment writing is just another stress and that doesn’t make me productive in any way.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Being Sick Sucks

I’m not joking, I thought what my daughter had been going through was just hay fever because no one else in the family had gotten the sickness, and it has been probably over 3 weeks but I was mistaken. Mistaken in the way of a flu and all the other wonderful crap she went through.

This meant the end of last week and over my weekend has been a wash as well as probably the next couple of days, because despite everything I’ve got to take cold and flu tablets and they stuff with my head. But not taking it means I end up with vertigo, which don’t want either. I’m hoping only one more day and I’ll be okay enough to not need them anymore.

On then though means I have no creativity, not really, even when all I want to go it write. Which is kinda how things normally go. Want to write when I can’t, don’t want to write when I need to.

Anyway, this week I’m beta reading a Christmas story, looking forward to it, but hating myself because of the sickness that’s not making me able to concentrate enough to beta it

I also want to re-read Encounter Space series and then write out or figure out enough of a plot for them, so it’s just about writing 2K a night as I’m hoping to be able to move house in the upcoming weeks and therefore can’t be creative in those times either.

Now, you may ask why I need to outline when I’m normally a panster? And I am but these next two book have to lead us somewhere, it’s not very far but in order for our dear John to get himself a HEA two books need to get him to the place where he can come to the conclusion of what he is. Though on one hand this series isn’t really about the plot and yet the plot will be there. Both these next two stories will have the means to get John where he needs to be but in all honestly you shouldn’t need to read either to get him there. He’ll be standing  on the burnt remains of the person who he blames the most but who will also be the key of pulling him back together of making him let it all go.

Now these two books were always going to be written, like with an An Alphas World, as readers demand (I excaudate, they just wish) they don’t get pushed in front of what’s already there, that’s not how I am. Hell, if I didn’t see the reasoning I wouldn’t write the second book at all, but 2 of my stories need an ending and I’ll get there but first…always a but first…. *evil smile*

I also have a feeling that in the upcoming years I’ll be doing my best to finish out the main parts of the series, or maybe just these two books as I have at least 3 novels I wish to write and I’m feeling that they are going to be coming sooner rather than later. But this might be more towards what I plan on doing outside of that. Like when I study. When I start to find a job that isn’t writing. Those things that will need to come first and therefore will free me up to write something that will take time. I have 3 novels. That need to be written. And I’m planning on getting to them in the next 5 years.

So cleaning and writing this week. That’s the plan anyway. What are you up to??

Thursday, 8 September 2016

Blinking Away the Darkness

A week or so ago, I can’t remember, but I wrote a post – this one – about how I realised I was depressed? It was a dark one, something a bit different then what I normally see these days and very much about the amount of stress in my life.

It’s been two weeks and I’m more or less back to my bubbly self. I laugh, as I finished writing that, but really I can actually be bubbly is I wish to be. Just because it’s mostly an act doesn’t mean I can’t do it. That it isn’t authentically me. Just a more then what I really feel.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I feel it’s because my mind is actually very strong, despite the fact that I have depression. So coming to the realisation that I was depressed was more or less what I needed in order to snap me out of it.
Okay, there was more. Taking Iron was a start, 3 weeks before my body started showing me it wasn’t needed anymore, and that’s a horrible thought, normally it’s only a week.

Now that I’m out of it, I have these moments of trying to remember what I was like back then, back in those days, what did I do? How did I act? Clearly it couldn’t have been that different or my loved ones, my sister the most, would have noticed. Why her? Because I see her weekly, my family, the ones I live with see me too much. As for me, my depression is slow riding, it would have taken me a week or so to get that bad, and I was trying to fool myself so of course I was able to fool those who saw me every day. My mother and father I don’t see as much, not nearly enough to see a different, or to see it as something that wasn’t just a mood I was in at that time. I also believe I had a cold or something in that time too, or I thought it was that. Maybe. Hell I can’t remember, and that’s the point.

I can’t remember.

I can’t remember what I thought, what I did. I know most of it was sleeping and doing what I HAD to in order to live, in order to let my kids have the best of their childhood without me pulling them down. It’s something I try really hard to always do best by them, like every parent out there does.

I can’t remember anything. There was nothing important in life through those weeks, or because my head was so messed up it’s disregarded everything that happened. Everything that went on as non-important.

Now, this is clearly what has happened every time I’ve gotten depressed, but normally it’s a different kind, a sharper kind that belittles me, shows itself as something. Where this one didn’t. I didn’t even wake up as I noticed I was drooling at the wall all day. No it was work that clued me on, even though hundreds of other things should have.

Anyway, my point, though I’m not sure I actually have one, is that I’m back. I’m not perfect, never would be, but more so I have to be very careful with everything I do and what’s going on around me. I have to double check things, check my own thoughts as I’m not sure if it’s because I’m stressing or because my head wants to pull me back down.

I am still stressed, that’s definitely won’t lighten up we move house, it’s a hope this will happen before October, but until we get our kick out letter I’m trying not to stress too much about it. Trying to not let it get to me. I’m trying not to let anything get to me. It’s hard though, my head is trying to make things bigger then what they need to be, but the illness in my head is…anyway just repeating myself, but here’s the update.

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Cover Reveal: Lane Hayes with A Kind of Honesty

A Kind of Honesty Reveal Banner 

Title: A Kind of Honesty
Series: A Kind of Story, #3
Author: Lane Hayes
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: October 7, 2016
Heat Level: 4 - Lots of Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 85K
Genre: Romance, Bisexual, Rock star, NYC, humor

A_Kind_of_Honesty_FINAL_V4