A thought, and I could be wrong, but I’ve been thinking about this subject a lot over the last couple of weeks and I believe I’ve worked my head around the idea.
First a reason.
I believe there’s always a reason why a type of person gets excluded. That kid that dresses in all black, that one that has his head stuck in a book. Those that reach out and take something that the rest of us either didn’t think we could or were too afraid to try. But the thing about them is that they are different from who we are, and therefore we don’t understand.
As things sit, we are people very self-centred. We struggle to see things in a different way. To understand that others don’t see or feel things the same way we do. It’s not anyone’s fault. Just reality except when it stops being.
This day and age is that time in our history when it becomes a person’s fault when they don’t have empathy for others. When they don’t want to bother trying to work out what someone else might think.
This is what I’m doing today. I’ve mulled it over, read a few things and have come to a conclusion (that could be wrong and I’m happy to learn otherwise) but at the end of the day this is my empathy, this is me working out inside my head how someone else might feel.
The first thing you need to do with anything like this is translate into something about you. Into something that is you. Even a bit, and for me that’s food, which is now what I’ll use to make my point. I want to note, I don’t believe I know what it’s like, but that I have a better understanding of what it’s like
I don’t care for food. I don’t think about it at all. I don’t constantly wonder when I can eat next, what the next thing I’m going to eat is, and where I’ll get it from. How long it will take to make, to eat. Will it involve a lot of clean up? Do I want to be bothered with that? Is there something easier I could eat instead? Do I want something easier? (And yes, this is what people with high sex drives thinks about, all the time. Or am I really the only one?)
Now I know I have to eat. Three times a day I have to eat. and okay let’s get real, with sex this isn’t as often, but I can see the routine that if a asexual was with a sexual partner they’d set themselves a routine and they’ll be punctual, to a point because that’s when they have set aside time to have sex, and so that’s when it is. Kinda boring but then nothing in my above paragraph goes though there head. They go, oh, it’s Date Night that means sex to the partner and so therefore we’ll have sex. Full stop. That’s the only time sex goes through their head.
Now this isn’t to say I don’t get hungry. That my body doesn’t rumble and demand that I relieve it from its aches of starvation. It happens, not too often but it does.
This also isn’t to say that sometimes I don’t crave certain types of food and that I will do anything in order to get those types of food. It’s a thing. But we are talking about a craving that is very pinpointed and is all about relief and then once that’s done I’m over it and off I go doing my thing, and food won’t even enter my mind again until I look at the cock and realize I’ve got to eat.
Now this isn’t saying that I don’t enjoy what I’ve eaten, that it doesn’t satisfy something deep inside me when I eat because it does. I eat what I like, and I enjoy it but I’m not going to think about it again when it’s done. I’m not going to crave it again. I’m not going to wonder when I can get more. Or when the next lots coming. After the foods gone into my belly and I’ve cleaned up the idea of it has gone and all I’m left with is the fact that it happened and even that I don’t think too hard on.
My point here?
There is nothing wrong with asexual. They just don’t think about sex. And I know, weird. Because sex is awesome and should constantly be on the mind. It’s why when laws were set with the idea that MEN can’t control themselves around women, MEN were the ones making this shit up and in those days women weren’t allowed to orgasm. They’d get put in a looney bin if they did. So men thought women didn’t want to, or need to but in their heads it was a horribly sexual place and they … okay off topic and one that will get me started.
The fact is most of the world thinks about sex like those ads say, every 7 seconds or some shit. It’s true. Really sexually driven people have it on their mine 90% of the day. But that’s not as large a population as you’d originally thought. It’s like everything nowadays. It becomes a scale that you need to understand.
Thinking about sex. Not having. Not doing, just thinking about sex, where do you fit, if 0% was asexual and 100% was sex addicts??
I’m about 80%, sex has always fascinated me, always and I’m constantly thinking about it. But I can understand the no thought. I can understand that others don’t think that way and though I don’t get it, I understand that it’s not my crap to give and that all I can do is realise that it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or different with a person. It just means sex isn’t a throbbing humping thing in the front of their eyes. They don’t look at anything and think sex. They don’t have a gutter. They get it. They can probably understand the jokes and the reasoning but unlike me, they don’t really get that drive.
They are fully functional people. And let’s face it, we are talking SEX here, just sex. Relationship is a whole other story that has nothing to do with sex. The other story we’ll get to next time.