Saturday 10 March 2012

In Motion 2.1

Starting Paragraph: Okay, she said, but being that she didn’t hear the words come out she mustn’t have said them all too well, though it didn’t seem to matter for seconds after Hue stood, tall and worried in her doorway.

What I did this week: [warning, it’s long and full of nonsense]

‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ whispered on a breath of air rushed to you by magic.

Mon: You know what I’m getting really annoyed at lately, and it’s an unfair thing, but still pissing me off anyway.
It’s when authors (and I’m talking the new ones, since there the ones I read or watch) say ‘get out, do things. Meet people, see the world’, or hatefully more (yeah...) ‘you need to do what you put your characters threw.’
Now I know, and they mostly explain this as not being fully what they do, but...I don’t know, it’s ridiculous. It’s like they all have sat down, gotten their money, and finally they have a minute or two to enjoy the world. But didn’t anyone think to remind them that being an author is a broke mans job.
Really, you don’t get money for it, not unless you became a best seller from your first book on. Really, you ain’t living high a mighty when you’re an author, normally, any spare time you have left goes into writing the book you want published, your cherished work of art. Hell, most of the time you’re using up sleep time, or family time so that you can write your book and have it set for others to read.
Really, you lost a lot of time to do anything why you’re writing a book. So why are all these people coming out and saying—go out, do something don’t spend all your time behind a desk,’ you know, where you should be if this is what you want to do.
Is it regret that has them saying this. the whole, ‘Yeah I’m happy that I did this, that I lost all that time because I finally did it, I made something of myself, but looking back, was it worth it?’

I find that it’s emotions that roll inside you. Who cares about what they are doing—hell, most of the time your characters are doing things you couldn’t even think about doing. And most of the time you don’t particularly want to be doing (like, let’s say, getting chased hunted threw the night by a killer. Or jumping head first off a cliff because it’s the only way you have a percent chance of living). The whole point of books, like it or not, is that you put your characters threw things that you wouldn’t do, ever! So why are all these people going around and saying to go out and do that?
Hell, I’m shit scared of heights, and one of my characters just scaled a cliff face, should I go and do that so that I can feel what he was feeling? Would I even at the time, he isn’t scared of heights, I am, how do you think that titbit will colour my experience?
But emotionally, you are right there with them. The feelings, the fear, the relief,’s all there, rolling around your head. It may not become physically, that all depends on how deeply you are in this characters head to have that rapid emotion roll through your body, but your mind. Right there with them.
And you need to be. Your head needs to be with them, needs to have this part that’s fully in your book, so that the emotions that they are feeling are real, that the reactions they are showing are real. hell, if you are the type that has the emotions run through your body, make sure there’s a mirror, or even your camera handy so that you can have a quick look and see how your face lines up to it, if you’re having trouble with one thing of another.
I also find this as being my biggest problem when writing; it’s a reason that in these early days that I don’t write when my children are at home. because they interrupt and you have to help them out, but if you haven’t finished that emotional rollercoaster with your characters—even more so if you’re planning on going back and writing again—that’s where your head sits when you’re dealing with your family, friends. Hell, the person on the other end of the phone, has to deal with that mood you’ve put yourself in while writing.
And it is, you put yourself in that mood, and it’s won’t go away until you finish it up with the character your writing, because, no matter how much your try to push your work away, they don’t go. The characters, the part you’re up to, sits in some dark part of your head, working itself out, building itself up and you’re the one stuck in the mood.
It’s easy when the moods are fear, fear can be pushed away, because there isn’t anything to fear. It’s the scarier emotions that can’t be squished.

Okay, okay, so Monday (which is today) isn’t really known for my ability to write. It’s more for the fact that it’s my daughters day off and I, for a long while, was under this strict, no writing when kids are around thing, and so with just her (saying this, she doesn’t really leave me a chance to sit down and write without pestering me), so today is usually procrastination to the shit house. Not that I can’t do that fine on my own, but still.
Today I’ve realised that even though I tell you guys the word count of my books I don’t actually write that way. I don’t have this ideal view of things that comes in numbers of words I’ve jotted down on page, and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not. Mostly because I just don’t care how many words I get down, my goal is all page number.
You see, I look at a book, that I’m writing, in turns of how I want it to look when it’s done. This means fullness, and all that crap, and I don’t particularly know how many words goes for how many pages (it’s something we’ll learn together on this part). So I say to myself—and we’ll talk about it in turns of the book I’m writing now, which is to be an adult paranormal romance, the first one actually. So I look at what’s around. Mostly when you’re looking at romances, you don’t see many thick ones, and honestly I don’t particularly like reading really long ones anyway, so it’s both what I see that’s out there and personal preference. It’s also the added bonus that I don’t have to write as much, yeah.
Anyway, they are between 250 pages and 300, right, and this is in those tiny tiny books. So that’s my goal, really, when I write any books, I want my books to hold that many pages as a min. Some max, but then we get right into shit no one but me cares about (yeah, I know, same can be said here, but your still reading it, right?). Anyway, so my goal by looking at the start of the book is that I want an outside of 150 pages.
This means that whenever I get to a bit in the book that I can skip over, for whatever reason (in this book it mostly means the main course of the sex scene, I always do then togetherish and when its nearly done. The sex scenes to me, in these particular books are the key and need to match the personalities much better than anything else.
Anyway, so when I get to parts to skip, I can give myself a page life to what I’m skipping.
So with a little bit of checking, using a page that was written with the least amount of words (weirdly, it’s more like it’s got a lot of talking and short bits of thoughts. But a page is around 750 words, 2 is 1500 or so, so it seems that most people strive to write just over a page a day. which I do every—most—time I put fingers to keyboard, I get about three to six when using a pen and paper but that’s a little different, also it’s lass words because of the bigger and messier writing style.
So I’m going to stop talking now, and most likely the rest of my week won’t be me talking to you about crap, just telling you if anything interesting happened that day or not.

Tues: I’m sick **cough, cough, groan...**
Really, and truly, I can’t think of anything but the headache that wants to explode my head and the feeling that my face may or may not look be swollen (it’s a thought) I’m so stuffed up and sick that I can’t think....
I did write (yesterday, nightish) about a quarter of a page of another story (my real procrastination at work) it’s for the same set series, but a different series inside it. Though I don’t think I will keep it, it really depends on how everything set with that series, and the book before it.

Wed: arrhhh, so hard to get started when you’re sitting waiting for the mailman (sorry, person) to come by to give me a package that should but probably won’t come today. suckage as it is I’m being a pansy without ringing and finding out where the hell they are. But then again, I still have a few more days before it’s reached its BE HERE time, so.... still, it’s me being a pussy, and my mind all fucked up waiting for it.
I’m also finding that I’m in a bit of a funk. Both reading and writing. I’m not sure if I could actually write anything I wanted to write without it being highly cliché and gushy (I mean laughing deep in your tummy, vomit gagging, laugh), it’s not that I’m feeling this way, but I’m in that mood I’m all cringe worthy and I don’t want it to be something that you like, not really. I don’t mind reading it, really, honestly, I actually like reading it, but I don’t want to be known for writing it. I don’t think I could stay in that mushy type of lovey mood while I write book after book. Thanks but no thanks.
I also have this BIG problem that it doesn’t sit whether the characters I’m writing or the mood I’m trying to set. at the moment everything that I have tried to write is coming out like something of The Bold and The Beautiful, you know, that week round I love you, and it’s not something I need, not when the mood isn’t seeing that high level tension, or massive drama.
But do know this; I am honestly trying today, unlike last when just staring at the scene had my eyes watering and my head pounding.   

I’ve been juggling with this for....let’s say nearly the whole book and I have finally gotten to a point that it has a meaning that I have to change it.
What it? You might ask. Her name. I don’t like what I’ve named my main character of this story. I’ve given her one of those cliché names that goes with everyone and I’m having major second thoughts on the whole thing. But having these thoughts still hasn’t given me a better name than what I already have. Which, to be honest, is the reason that I haven’t changed it in the first place.
I really don’t know what to do, but then that’s a theme for me lately.

Okay, so today I did a bit of cut and paste, its 5 pages—3,475 words. And it may or may not stay. I’m swinging more towards it staying, but then we’ll have to wait and see how things work out. worst comes to worse, it will just have a little different wording and information, but at the end of the day this is where I’m feeling it’s going to sit, more so than what I had thinking. I also feel like it fits, like this part I wrote was meant to be there anyway. It’s just the tone I’m not sure about—his—that is. But will see.

Thur: another day that’s too cold and wet to want to do anything, if I had anything to do, which I don’t. Another great day for writing, really, the days that make you want to go out and take in the fresh air, they are the worst to write, the ones that make you think if there really isn’t anything better to do then sit here and write (though is that really fair for me to say? I’m not sure, since my writing and my need for fresh air are riding a flat line at the moment. 
Anyway, I’m watching Sherlock Homes the movie, and if you don’t know this, I’m a fan of it, though I’ve never read the books (there two hard for me, seriously, and I’m not really into that high crime, when it comes to me books)
Anyway, I really liked the move when it first came out (i still do but...) even though I don’t particularly like Jude Law or Robert Downy Jr. really, I’m not a fan, and I won’t, even though I thought the casting was actually quite good, they did a good job and I felt they did the part well. what I don’t like, and I think this is because of the English series of Sherlock Homes, is what’s writing, I just never got the way Wilson is with Sherlock (the movie Wilson, not the show, I love the way the show sit, I like the relationship between then, that....bromance). I have never liked the way that Wilson always walks away from him, but that’s a writing thing, nothing more, and I don’t really know if this would be different from the books or the same. I should, you know, pick up the books and see, but it’s really hard for me to read them.
Anyway, the reason I’m talking about this is, well one, I do actually like it, it’s what I’m watching while writing and well, I’ve already wanted to talk about it. And there’s no one left to talk to it about.
Anyway, oh, yes, two, I think that this era of digital technology in movies (and TV) is a good time for this type of show, this melodramatic action that could easily been seen though nothing more than over talk or simple looks, but is made so much better by the power to put little things in, and slow things down—okay, I’m getting into talking about the show then the movie, but it’s so much better, really, you have to agree, and if you don’t, you haven’t watched it yet (or you don’t have the same taste as me, and hey, I can live with that. it’s what’s great about life, having the power to have your own taste and them being completely different from anyone else’s).
Oh, and hey, I’m still waiting for those books, I’m thinking, though that tomorrow  is going to be the day I’ll ring and see, since it’s the last day and if I get three books in that one day? Well, I’ll tell them it’s all good. But then maybe I could send an email today, or Friday (since I might need it checking so it makes sense) and then Monday or Tues I’ll ring, if I haven’t heard back).

Errh, I feel worse than I did yesterday and I’m blaming both the weather the fact that I’m pissed I don’t have the books I’ve ordered, paid for and this head cold that just wants me to be aware that it’s there. Really, shitty.
I just finished watching Kony 2012, which you might now if you read my blog, I’m not that great on full blown speeches, or the spectacle of, was there a minute ago, you know when they yell about stuff in the middle of the street?!—protests!! Thank you.
Still, I do think that something that has gone out of their way to create a buzz it should be heard and told to all that will listen, and being that I have a way to spill the beans that doesn’t make me have to get off my couch I will.
Hell, if they had t-shirts I’d buy one, or two, just because it’s going to a good cause, maybe they should look into that, people will do that.

One moment, does a sward/large knife make a clingy sound when it’s hitting something that isn’t metal??
If I go of the Sherlock Homes movie, I’d say yes, but does it, really?
Yep, I could say this post is a show of my marvellous procrastination abilities, wouldn’t you?

Perspective is something you can find threw writing. I wasn’t able to write anything from the book that I’m meant to be writing at the moment, instead I slid my attention over to a novella I’m writing. And ones that I write whenever I’m sitting in a bit of a duller view in life, because that’s what they need.
They are also great because of the family; the people in them aren’t the nicely. The families, friends aren’t the greatest. Really their lives are just shit ass and they make me see how mine isn’t all that bad.
Though boring is a word for it, I live too much inside my head to start with to need something extreme to have a great life. Really, when your head is on your head and it can go anywhere why do I need to?

Okay, so today; wrote 1,865 words in Bye Roman, Love Julius which is a story in my TragicTeen collection that I’m writing between writing.
I say this because it’s how I write these books. A but will come to me and I’ll write it, mostly because I’m in the write mood for it (you know sad) and so, that’s how they are written, in bits and piece over a lot of time. they are painful to write (or the first one was, because it went more...never mind. but still, you might not think much of them, but they are hard to write and even harder to get into that teenage depressive mood and not have it hit directly at my home life.

I’m also still, really annoyed that my books haven’t gotten here yet. I’m actually that pissed that I know I have to do something about it. but I also know that the company that I order from (angus & Robertson) are good and generally ship everything, or at least they have with me, so maybe it’s just taking a longer time for them to get it.

Fri: so, for the whole book thing. I wrote a email thing to then to ask what was happening and what I get back (not that I really thought much more than this) a email about the fact that they get them from overseas and it takes longer than 4 weeks and something about the fact that the post office holds them sometimes, like I wouldn’t know if they did have them. Really, they always leave a note about that shit, and since I have been looking out for them chronically, I think I would notice a little red slip telling me I have a package waiting for me.
So maybe next week. Sigh. It just sucks ‘cause I really want them to be here NOW.

Seventeen pages (so....34 pages) is enough time to get the love make a little lust and flirtatious with each other right? it’s not like this is the first time the hooked up and I’m hoping that time was very tense and hot, but this second time, the one they will remember, the one that will bring them through the rest of the book. It’s not too long a time period, is it? No long enough?
Eh, I don’t know. Crap. Oh, well, I can only do what I’ve got. But if you’ve got an opinion than let’s have it?!

Yum, Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You....old school these days but still it’s a great ass movie. And he is huhuHoooot!!

Yeah!!! I got them. All 3. Yeah! The postman even put them near my door. Mind the package that it was about to come open, still, he didn’t have too.
My love goes out to all Post people who do a good job—the rest of you can suck balls.

Sat; a Quick End chat: I’m finding that no matter what I do, how I look at things this isn’t working, not the way I’m trying to do it. I mean, not the fact that I’m forcing myself to write a series, a book—hell, isn’t that what most people do. though I might say, that a lot of people probably don’t have as many story going as I do right now, do they?
Anyway, so I’m done with forcing myself.
At this moment I’m trying to write book 1 (I think is will be that way, really, both book 1 & 2 can be put either way they want to book 3 is the one that matters where it’s placed, and will be the only one that matters this way—in this series) but all I can think about is book like 5 or maybe 6 depending on the people that end up reading the stories, really, people that one swings to threesomes where the female is the odd one out.
Fun, really, I’m finding it fun at the moment, when I’m working out how it all fits and stuff, so from next week I’m just going to write the book that’s in my mind, but the second won’t be finished until I have the first 3 books sitting as first drafts. So it’s going to be a long one.
I think that I need to work on the series as a series set straight and at the end well, I don’t know.
But I am thinking that I will post the first 3 chapters when they come, which this first book I’m working on is there, sorta, there’s a spot missing but I might leave it bear and let you look and then update it when I have it finished. What’cha think?

Ending paragraph: Hell that was something. And only with his hand. Shit the real thing might kill him.
      He nearly laughed with how much he was looking forward to that.
Beauty of Summer, prequel

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