He had become quite good at silent tears.
They had also been his last.
Seeking my Werewolf (moonlit wolves #3) page number
First up, I would like to apologise for the last
post. It’s actually a tribute to how fucked up my head was from the cold that I
messed it up so bad, and didn’t fill in everything that was meant to be filled.
So, sorry, I’ll do better.
And spell check seems to be messing a little with my
words, I’ve noticed, Chickenshit seems to be losing its ‘en’, which is weird. I
write it, I swear.
Anywho, on with the show
What I’ve done
(Here’s
what’s on the table for the fortnight)
The book
|
What I’m hoping
|
Word count of the week
|
Seeking my Werewolf
|
Finish…
|
1,490 / 7,140w
|
Wish you a Wolfy Christmas
|
Chap 2
|
Done!!! / 1,931w
|
What was throw in
|
Word count
|
Remembered
Pain (forgotten pain #2)
|
926w
|
The Excuses
·
Its cause I’m waiting for Bleach to come in. (first few days)
Yeah I got it, I got them!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!!
Yeah I got it, I got them!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!!
·
Heat Wave!!! I’m kinda excited because we haven’t had this kind of hot
for over five years. Not a heat that’s been said to stay. I’m hot and
sticky—fucking humidity and old scars aren’t dealing with it.
39 degrees in the west,
though I live in the mountains just past them, so we dropped a couple of
degrees.
I spit out a lot of shit in this one, so… be
warned.
Thoughts
for Thoughts
Book 6 in Moonlit Wolves; Picturing my Werewolf
·
Deciding that Luke is going to be a tattoo artist. Though straggly shy.
He has to be shy, that’s how I see him. That’s how he feels, inside my brain. Maybe not quite shy, but that shadow kind of
man.
·
Hmm…big, awkwardly comfortable in his skin, deep brown eyes, floppy mid
brown hair. Muscles. Permanent shadow dusting his jaw. Colourful display inked
into his skin. Thick metal pierced randomly (okay, no so, but, yum). Nothing
special man, with the body of a biker and the heart of an artist.
Whatcha think? workable?
·
Also, on a different note, I’m going to have to put Matt and Jex up
against the wall a fucking lot. More so I’m going to have people walking in on
them. Either staying and watching or leaving, it’ll be a mood thing.
Sun: okay, so I’ve decided that I would turn something into another
series, mostly because I’ve got another story with it. But I might love to
watch crime, but I don’t think I’m smart enough to write crime. Doesn’t mean
that I don’t want to try. And it’s seems mostly the concepts have come into my
minds, even the plot, really,…
·
I’m calling it the Forgotten Pain
series (could turn into a trilogy)
o At the moment, I was
swinging for Adult Contemporary Mystery (romantic inclinded)
·
Book 1, A Bloody Path
o This one is about a boy
whose father was murdered by a serial killer that got away. I originally had
the thought that it would be in his own home and him, as a kid, walked in and
found his father’s body.
o He became a cop, though
again, I’m a little up in the air about this, and having this second book come
up, I... Okay, I still not sure.
·
Book 2, Remembered Pain
o This is about a kid who was
raped at the age of ten. Twenty years later his attacker is free.
·
They…yeah, everything is still up in the air. But book one and two will
them separately, well, defiantly book 1, and at first I feel that I will
probably just start it as a trilogy and see how it works. That will make it
easier on me, right?
Hell, just not thinking and
getting obsessed with something else
926 words, above
Tue: my head is empty of words and filled to the brink with nothing. my
fingers are aching to talk, with nothing to drive them. I’m lost in wanting to
so something I’m unable to think of. I’m waiting, I’m obsessive, and it’s
helping nothing.
Shit, I want to write, but I can’t seem to find the
words.
Thurs: I was reading one Stephani Hecht blog about how
authors are writing MM erotica because that’s where the money is. It’s not
because that’s what they choose to think. Then she went on with a list of
things that she wished she didn’t have to worry about because her son was gay.
Honestly most of them she would be worrying about no matter what, they were
about him being safe and coming home at night.
That’s there no matter what preference your children
are. No matter whom they are, and no matter who their friends are. Honestly I
would be more worried with a hetro son if he hung around with older guys. Because
they don’t think about the dangers whereas homosexuals are always, a little, on
edge about whose around them, and where they are. At least the smart ones, but
if your kids dumb, you have more worries then you think.
Saying this, I wanted to put it out there that I
write it because it’s in my head. Because it fits for me. It….feels right to me
to write it.
And I can say for certainty that it isn’t for money,
since I don’t really care that much about the money, I don’t care if I don’t
make a living off this, as long as people are reading it.
Still, I worry that maybe you think I’m picking this
for money, for something to play with for something that I don’t believe in,
that I am choosing for no reason but….
I have never thought about sexuality.
I have never thought anything of it. I have never
cared who you fuck. I can’t even remember if at school that was a problem, nor
did I just not hear it because I didn’t care. I didn’t see what wasn’t
important to me. Or was it not there?
Still, writing mm is something I can’t help but do.
I think I would have even if I didn’t crash into the genre and fell in love.
I am even more certain that this is true because
when I was starting out my Warrior Brethren series. When I was working it all
out. When the plot started to show, Cad and Daniel were there. First they were
going to be three, mmf, but that didn’t fit, so walla, mm. that was before I
came into the world a little more. That was before I even started reading it.
You can ask my sister-in-law, though she was nodding
that I should put a female in. she’s what some comedian said, and I haven’t
been able to get out of my head. She’s Aussie open. “nah mate, I’m cool with
you being gay, got no problem at all, ain’t homophobic in the least—just don’t
touch me man!”
(this is not saying Aussie’s aren’t or are
homophobic, just it’s what this comedian said and its stuck)
Still, I don’t want you all to think I’m writing
this for some other reason than because its there. Because I’m more comfortable
writing it.
One last this about Ms. Hecht that I’ve wanted to
say for a while now. Her books are all about now. There are a lot of specific
movies, song, game, fashion hits that are all about the now. Her books won’t
live long, because they will become outdate. It’s something I try my hardest to
not use. I’m not sure if I do it well.
Wrote 1,769w (chap 2) in Wish you a
Wolfe Christmas (Moonlit Wolves #4.5) (man its lame but still making me smile)
·
It’s really hard to write about so many people in the one stop,
especially since there stories and their personalities are becoming more
defined in my head and it’s confusing to see whose who and where they should
be.
·
This one is looking like it’s going to be the fullest of sex out of
them all. I think it’s because of the ‘why’ that I’m writing it. But it’s not
like I have any major storyline for the tale, just a bunch of mates having
Christmas together.
o Maybe I should find a
plot…..
o I’m sure it’ll just come to
me when it’s ready
Yeah, this one is looking
like it’s a book with nothing but sex.
Shit I can’t remember if Jex was circumcised or not….yes
he is!!
·
Another chapter, another sex scene done.
Fri: ~Christmas shopping~
So what is it with a males height being 6”3’ plus???
This problem that is running around is annoying me as swiftly as gravity on
women. Or they rather optimistic views on how they look when a paragraph before
they were bitching.
Does it mean that I have to make my men that tall? ‘Cause
they aren’t, and probably never gonna be, unless that’s a point.
Even worse when they make a nanny very manly—Its
unbelievable. Point: my partner is 6’2” tall 2m across the shoulders. He loves
children and when he was growing up he wanted to do something in that area, but
he didn’t. Hell, I’m sure he could have, but as he saw it, and a lot of people,
he looked too rough to look after children. Also, most women don’t want a man,
especially a man looking like that looking after their children, not in a nanny
sense, not it a childcare (preschool) sense.
Sun: Sitting here, in front of the computer. V8’s on the tell, there last
Holden vs. Ford, and out of all the sports there are (yeah, I know it’s not
really a sport) this is the one I can tolerate without copious amounts of
alcohol. Still, I could live without it.
Though not the point.
Really, see, it’s already a rambling, where not in
for a great night.
Still, I’m here, sitting, wanting to write. Wanting
to do something with my fingers, with the voices in my head, with the ideas.
But I just…..can’t.
Moonlit Wolves series
·
Anyway, can’t write in chap 3 (book 4.5), because I need a CD of songs,
or more so the lyrics. Like yeah I’d love the album, but….shit happens and it’s
from when I was little. –never mind, I downloaded them, hehe!!!!
·
I feel sometimes that I should have just made this a contemporary. I
seem to be sucking at putting the paranormal twist into it. It’s annoying. But
I see that I’m doing this, maybe I’ll stop
162 words,
Is all I wrote. I think its
actually because ever since I sat here my kids came and now I feel watched and
blocked in and…yeah, it’s not productive. Especially since the whole table is
now a mess of papers and she keeps on running into or kicking me.
I can’t work under these condition.
Though to be honest it seems I can’t under any, so what the point?!
Mostly she cranky because
it’s hot, muggy, she went to sleep sometime past 10pm and it’s hot. So no
matter what she bursts into that cry 5 year old give off, when there pissed and
want attention and think crying will get them anything.
It doesn’t, just a pissed
off parent.
Later
tonight
Okay, time for another bitch. (and were talking
about it being on iBooks)
Today I finally was about to download ‘Catching a
Bit of Irish’ and ‘When Tatum got bit by the Spider’.
It’s big new for me, because I was craving both
since I knew they were released—hell, I’m still craving 3 or 4 books from both
series, but….
Anyway, Book 19 from the Lost Shifters series was
published in October and its December—two fucking months it takes for
Australians get there shit. Though it’s been my sister who made me realises
it’s our ratings that take it so fucking long.
Okay so both came out then, that’s why they come
together. So the next book WoSR#14 came out November—yeah, she’s pushing these
books out monthly, no wonder there getting a little sloppy with editing, I’m
reading the most recent one now, and there is a major error that editing should
have picked up. It’s huge and ended up confusing me for a little.
Shane’s Inner Anger came out in October, the 15th,
so two weeks and I’ll get that one. Her’s are a little more sporadically done,
the one before the last came out in July. Still, at least I should get the next
one soon. Well, to be honest she has a heap of other series, so it depends on
how she’s writing but shit, no wonder these women are having meltdowns, they
are trying to make too much money. Trying to do too much too quickly.
Don’t ever let me become like that.
Don’t ever let this, a thing I love, ruin me.
Moonlit Wolves #3; Seeking my Werewolf
·
I think I need to learn more about guns for this one.
1,027 words
·
The start of the real hunt.
Mon: I
love the dark.
I’m not sure what it is about night that drive me,
but I love it. I love the fact that you can’t see anything. That plan and
boring places can turn into hideouts. That the stars shine, and the moon
betrays you by looking brighter than it is.
I love walking in the night. The steps louder
because of the omnibus feeling around you. that you can freak yourself out by
just looking over your shoulder.
It’s kind of like the feeling you get walking deep
in the woods by yourself, but that always different. Yeah, you can still freak
yourself out. But it’s not the same.
That suburban feeling of being watched while you
walk past house after house of lights, feeling left out while you’re happy to
be there.
It’s awesome. I love it. I write better in it. Too
bad I can’t, right?!
[Chap 3;
1,055]
SmW (MW#3)
·
Onto chapter four.
Wrote: 463
words
·
Shit, I think I’m done for the night. This next part is about what the
werewolf looks like and I’m going to have to go back and figure out what Phil
looked like again, some details—the werewolf, I’ve got down pack.
I’ve decided to go an old
school, something between American Werewolf and Harry Potter 3—or at least,
that’s how one of them explained it. They change three nights a month. The real
full moon is the middle one and they loss everything that night, the two
outside nights they are a little weaker and are able to fight themselves.
Only a certain type of
person can become a werewolf, and if ones around the werewolves can’t help but
bite, um….there’s more, but, well, that’s enough to understand, right?
Tue: SmW (MW#3)
·
I think I need to change a few full stops with comers, last night I
realised that I’m making Craig a little choppy. Though where he is, what he’s
doing, I’m sure it would make sense, he’s in a different head space. As long as
I make a point of it throughout the rest of the book it would still work that
way. Maybe.
Something
different (proves how great my writing
is going)
I got rid of a few of my YA books that have been
sitting on the shelf meaning to either read or finish. It came to me while I
was looking at the shelf that I have only a few weeks and the girls I hand my
books over to, well, I won’t see them anymore. So I cleaned out my shelf.
These are what I got rid of:
The Fallen vol. 1&2,
Daughters of Darkness, Spellcaster, Ashes, Claire de Lune & Nocturne,
Personal Demons & Original Sins, Past Midnight, On a Dark Wing, Clockwork
Angel
It’s weird how different my shelf looks, mostly, I
think, because I’ve had to fill in a few spots.
Oh,
oh, I have something else to add
Christmas story came to mind. A short story.
·
A guy, Mathew Lester, has lost everything. All that’s left is a lonely
Christmas filled nothing and no one. He can’t sleep. Can’t eat. And he wishes
for nothing but a moment of peace away from what he feels. Of his loneliness.
·
A man comes down the chimney, looking like everything Matt has every
wanted in a man, holds him tight and gives him a night he could never forget.
·
But when the light shines was it just a dream or was it something more.
o
Okay, so it’s a rough thought of a story that I’m going to write and
post of Christmas Day. Hopefully it will be good. And that you will enjoy.
Wed: this
is the part where free writing gets complicated.
MW #4.5, …Wolfe Christmas
·
I have no idea how to make this story just chapter after chapter of
sex. Really, I haven’t figured out the plot yet. By this time, with this amount
of thought I would have come up with something. I haven’t. Shit. How to make it
interesting?
·
The biggest problem is that I’m writing a book that’s 3 books time, and
because I haven’t even begun to think up the line plot, like the series plot
line for it. I don’t let myself think that far ahead. it makes me antsy to
finish the book, which leave massive holes in a series.
But I’m putting this
up. So I have to finish it. And
finishing it makes me have to have a plot line for the short story. it can’t
just be sex—well, it could and to be honest it’s looking like it’s heading that
way, and I’ll just have to go threw at the end of it all, clean it up, and….
There needs to be a plot,
right? There needs to be something, other than the boys in the picture that
makes this a story. There has to be, something, to make it interesting and I
have no idea what that could be.
·
Yeah I have some ideas, or something point place ideas that need
looking into, but the idea that I have would mean that Adams’ story will have
to move from book 7 to 5 and I don’t want it there. I’m not ready for it to be
there. But….I could move book 8 up, and have….but that would mean the plot
point won’t involve Matt or Jex, like book 7 does. Hum….
·
Yep, that idea has merit enough that I’m using it! Yeah…..
Book 5 is now
Brad and Kyle’s, A Werewolf’s Howl, which means the arrival of Brad is going to be a
shocker, though I’m not sure if it’s actually him that’s going to be the point,
or if it’s the arrival of a sent….???
·
I’m not that hard up but, ‘cause I kinda wanna know Kyle’s story after
Terry talked about it in book 2. So, win win, right?
Wrote 261 words, Christmas Story, I’ve
named, Happy Christmas, Everyone! But I’m
thinking it was all a waste. I’ll have to get back to it. I just don’t like it.
·
Oh, yeah, this ways much better. Already doubled it!
Re-wrote and ended with 770
words.
·
Lube him up. Hear a noise. Have a fuck. Wake up.
·
Might need to redo the beginning. It just wasn’t working for the story.
This one might, but I could have done better. I know. It’s kinda lame.
Thurs:
·
It’s actually kinda hard to write a story without names. I know I gave
him one, but that was back when the story had an actual backstory. Now there’s
nothing. Just a horny 18 year old. And a jolly Santa Clause.
--never mind, had to put his
name in. oh, well, I’ll just go back and change that up. Easy fix.
Wrote 349 words
in Happy Christmas, Everyone!
·
Sex & wake up.
I so need to read a book so that I’ll have something
to review tomorrow. Yeah, last second and all, but for some reason I completely
forgot. Or more so I thought I already had something.
I don’t.
I can’t be bothered. And more so, I can’t think of
anything else to put there instead, so what am I meant to do…..
Worse, is that I really want to write. I have a head
full of crap.
Ah….this is so shit!
Blah, all I have in me is snippets from books I
can’t seem to write. And since I’m not an author, I have no deadlines but my
own. I have no real need to be writing so I’m taking a holiday!
Yep, I’m on Holidays!
It makes sense, the kids are about to be (six weeks
of school holidays). I have plans on having a YA marathon, since I have a shit
load that I want to read (17 that I really wanna read).
This isn’t to say that I won’t be writing anything
in them. And the first one back will have a chuck of that, dates and all. Hell,
I might not even last that long. I might find my mojo. I might come by next
week and I have spent the whole time writing. Doubt it. But maybe I just need
the relaxation that I can have this brake (though it seems all I’ve been having
so far).
I did have plans: reading marathon, second draft of
Untitled, finish book 3
And they could happen; when they do I will come
back. This will end.
I will still being doing Adults Corner, that will be
weekly now, though as I finish off my story for you. And those points will be
written into the bottom of those posts so you can see the process, if you wish.
And then at the end of that I will decide how I’ll proceed with that posting
(sex scenes from my books or sex scenes I’ve written—a couple having fun).
So til then, I’ll be up and running. I’ll still be
doing the other half of things, that isn’t my problem at this moment, but I
feel I need a break.
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