Everyone knows that children have to grow up. Wendy
had known this for ages. But she didn’t think much about it until she met Peter
Pan.
Peter Pan by
JM Barrie
What’s going on?!
So, I have this thing were I’m being a shit writer.
You know the times when you think, that maybe this isn’t something you wanna
do. But it is. Well, you’re kinda shit at it.
You know, the internal where everything puts you
down. I have it a lot, it’s really said that most of its mega true and no
matter what all I can do is argue and tell it to shut up, I’ll get there.
Anyway, I’m in a major (3 months counting) writers
block, and it doesn’t seem to want to unplug, no matter how much hair I pull
outta the fucking drain. So I’m going back to something that I once loved,
spend three months straight on and only had a little bit more to go, plus
re-writes before I can hand it off to someone else to read.
Anyway, here’s the long result in my re-read and
fixing it up. Just for you all.
It’s been a few days since I wrote this out, you
understand if you start reading it. in this time I have come to the realisation
that I’m struggling threw one of my worse deeps into depression since my son
was born—and that one had the added bonus of postnatal to kick things up. This one…
anyway, it explains (to me) a number of things, and a reason that I haven’t
actually finished this one off. Though I will update it when I have, and plan
to.
Sorry for the this, and hope you enjoy this trip
into one of my books
[name]
A fairy-tale inspired
standalone novel
Young Adults
This book is really hard for me to describe. I have tried and tried again. But I came up with this idea mostly from…
actually I can’t remember, maybe there’s a posting on my blog that has the
answer, I can’t be bothered to find it, but I was blogging when I wrote this.
Anyway, I really like Peter Pan, it was my top three Disney (Cinderella—I am a
girl, and Sword in the Stone). Still I liked the idea of doing a story about
Peter Pan, but I couldn’t get up the whole ‘how to get her there?’ thing and
‘cause I’ve read ‘City of Ashes’ (I think it’s in) where they walk through the
fairies room of all those dancing people. I also thought ‘hey that’s actually a
thing, isn’t it?’ and looked it up to find it a Welsh myth (sorry if I’m wrong,
I’m not great at research) and I liked that idea of them being there because of
this thing they did. And then escaping—which, huh, would actually make a great
story, maybe if this one gets published I could write it?!
So I wrote this book with a few things in mind. One
of them that I wanted this story to have deeper meaning, which I think it’s why
I find it hard to describe ‘cause I see it as being this one point, even though
I hope I didn’t shove the point down your throats.
Okay, so the basics of what you need to know. It’s a
world, like Peter Pan, with the idea that fairies are the ones that live there
and there’s a little backstory that’s all about one of them being able to brake
free and run away (this changed the whole game). They ended up being the ‘lost
boys’ (I changed all their names, but it’s not important, not really), who had
the ability to control Earth. When some of them grew up they became the ‘pirates’
who were able to control Air. The ‘mermaids’ and the ‘Indians’ are natural to
the lands, who hold the element Water and Fire—you can guess which. The fairies
hold ‘soul’ and generally run the whole show. Um… there’s more, I know, but I
can’t think right now, sorry. Hope you get the drift.
Let’s start
this one…
First thing you need to know is I wrote this flat
out. There were no chapter by chapter, but parts and so as I re-write it,
though I will be trying to chapter it out as best I can, to me, it will always
be in its parts.
This first one is complicated, ‘cause it’s a
prequel-ish thing, it’s got 1,952 words, and from the moment I
finished the thing I have wanted this part gone.
It starts: Life;
Do
you ever wish something else was happening in your life? That you were made for
something better than what you got?
And then goes on to tell about her history a little.
About the fact that she’s sick, been in and out of hospital and this time is
like the last time she can get chemo or something like that. (Sorry, I know the
story, but I skimmed to get you the pointers). It’s all about how bullshit her
life is. That it’s scary but nothing compared to what her parents were going
through, and how she’s always holding together for them.
It has a light soft spot where mother and daughter
talk, in a way that you do, when your ignoring what’s about to happen and
trying to be positive about an outcome with little hope. It ends:
·
Please, let me wake up from it.
·
Later notes; I have come up with three ideas for this one of
how to fix it the way I think it’d be better. But I’ve come to the conclusion
that I should just have it how I have first written it when it goes out for its
first read and then ask, deal, change when it’s back.
·
This means that I have to put the parts I missed.
·
It’s just I fucked up a lot on that first part, mostly ‘cause I still
hadn’t gotten the whole new world thing organised.
·
Maybe I need to just man up and re-write the whole first two chapters
and then if they suck take them out. *sigh* it seems like a lot of work for
potentially nothing.
·
Re-write notes: I don’t particularly want this to stay in the
story, so other than a quick computer spell check; I haven’t changed anything
in this part.
The beginning starts:
·
I always hate coming awake from the
drugs working threw me, killing what it could. It was always one of those
awakenings that let your mind catch up long before the body did. Though that
seemed to be my own reactions, and it came with dreams, vivid dreams of things
I could never remember doing, places I had never remembered seeing.
And goes on with her being in a dark hospital room
connected to lots of equipment beeping around her. This is actually important
and evens up coming up a bit. It’s also my
main plot point for the whole story—but I’m sorta hoping you’ll see that
yourself.
Then goes on with the weird trop that all YA books
have where she’s woken up by a mysterious boy in her room. And you know, like
all the others, I’m more than sure there was no freak out by her. Though you
could kinda blame the drugs she’s on for it, but ultimately it’s kinda weird
(yeah and I’m the one that’s written it. hence one of the reason I think I want
to scrap these two parts).
He then goes on telling her that she’s needed
elsewhere. He tells her the name but I actually haven’t come up with it yet
so…. Then tells her shit about leaving and then they do.
This part is the ‘at first sight’ shit that happens
in the book. Though I never wanted it to be a main point so this is as much
lovey dovey you will actually get though the romance is laced threw it.
They end up going to ‘neverworld’ (which, to be
honest with you is a landscape place from my head, with a few added parts
‘cause there needed, but it’s from the book Peter Pan by JM Barrie that I use
to read as a kid, though the elements are the same, the groups have different
names, and each holds a different element) they land on a hill that overlooks
the whole place, at sunset, which results in Trigger giving Michaela (the two
main characters, though it’s in her POV)
a knife and they run into the forest to get to Trigger’s home.
This brings Michaels close to the wild beast as she
falls behind Trigger and something happens. When Trigger gets there, the beasts
are gone and Micheala’s foot is messed up, which results in her getting a
piggyback to his home.
When there in the home, Trigger takes them to their
healer about her foot, and then they head to Triggers room, on the way Trigger
explains about his group of kids, and simply about the world and how it came to
be—though not a lot, she’s had a big day.
She showers, and then Trigger shows her to her own
bedroom, which then trails into a dream sequence. It ends:
·
And then still as ice, her eyes open,
large and hazel, they take up her face. Though lifeless in there stare they
meet mine and I know.
·
She is me.
·
Notes: first up, this one was going to have a bit cut
from it, but since I’ve decided to just leave it how it is; it’s got 9,874 words to it.
·
There are a lot of things that I don’t like about the whole thing, but
mostly a lot of it was (and might still be) ‘cause I was going to cut the
prologue.
·
I also don’t like the hospital scene and the way the rest of the book
goes, and the plot line that I want to come out of it… well, a big part of them
talking has to be re-written because it can’t be in it.
·
It’s also rubbish as hell, mostly ‘cause as I was writing it I didn’t
really have this part in my head, more the later parts and I was still working
a lot of the kinks out. So they have to be fixed as well.
·
Still, the whole thing is cool, there’s just… well, a whole re-write to
get through. But that shouldn’t be that hard, I know what’s happening.
·
Re-write notes: there’s a lot of little things, things I wanted to
changed and had made me realised that (okay, I’ve said this above) but since
I’m leaving it til a someone else is reading it I’m only going to change a few
things
1. There’s this note, nearly a
two pages in that says [convince her] but really I’m not going to bother, mostly,
‘cause of the above, and if they like it then maybe I’ll actually take the
time, as if is, cutting this part out…
2. The idea of a ‘replacement’,
now this can’t actually be in the
story anymore, which fucks up a lot of what I have, so… re-writing it is.
§ I’m really not good at this
shit. They whole manipulation crap. Though to contradict myself, I think I am.
I just can’t think about it, while thinking about it. Shit I’m confusing
myself.
Replaced 120
words with 80.
3. Have to get ride off the
making of said ‘replacement’ which is kinda said, ‘cause it’s kinda cool. Hell
the aspect of it is, it’s the reason it came to me in the first place, but it’s
just—it can’t be there. It fucks up with the end. Lost another 167 words.
DONE!!!
·
I need a name for the island they are going to, any ideas???
Spirit starts;
·
I find myself sitting. My chest heaving
as if I had been running, sweat coating my skin. I feel slimy and hot
and…scared. I wasn’t sure why, but something had made me feel as if I couldn’t
breathe, I needed something, I needed to remember… something.
As you can see, she wakes up to a dream she doesn’t
remember having. It’s actually an important plot point (for me) and though
people might not see it as much as I do, it’s there and it’s what I feel the whole
books about. And if memory serves (I wrote this book in 2011) most of the
‘parts’ end and start like this.
We then have Trigger there being her rock, though
it’s the first time for it, that’s what he is for her.
The notice her foot, which then makes Trigger wonder
something, though he’s not really saying anything about it, more mentions that
they need to go and see the fairies.
They reach the table and all the group is there, and
we see Trigger being, well, Peter Pan, really, ‘cause that’s who he is, it’s
Michaela that’s different from Wendy. But she takes to some of the other
people, and wonders about their names (they all have weird ones—Guess is one of
the girls she talked to). Don’t think she’s ask Trigger yet, which is a very
‘Twilight’ moment, the said thing I knew it was and kinds pushed it that way a
little when I realised it was coming up.
There’s a brake and then they are on their way to
meet the fairies—who don’t like to wait. They talk to some of the inner-circle
boys and then there walking through the bush when Kayla gets caught in a Well,
which is run by Troll, to collect magic, it’s also important to a main plot
point, to have this.
Then they are walking into the fairies meeting
place. I got the idea of the fairies from a fairy book my mum has. It’s mostly
the ones that are from Ireland and the surrounding areas, and they don’t look
anything like Disney made them, if this book does well I post the picks of the
ones I used, but saying this none of them was a picture of beauty, and oddly they
are.
They talk, and then Kayla and the Queen of All are
out, seeing what Kayla has, teaching her what it’s like, that sorta stuff. This
is an intense moment and ends with Trigger snapping Kayla out of it and pulling
her away before the Queen snaps out of it. And telling her they’ll have to talk
about it when they get home.
They are then eating again, this time dinner (no
lunch, it’s a good time show), and then Kayla into the training room where she
teases the guys around the table about their older wording (though I’m not sure
that’s really happening—not that smart *thumbs pointing at self), then go into
telling about how Kayla was nearly killed by the Queen of All and how she needs
to learn a weapon, this ends with a clean break.
We come back to her tied as and walking towards her
and Triggers rooms, which (I hope) runs smoothly into a dream sequence. Ending
with:
·
My father suddenly wraps his arms around
her, letting her bury her face into his chest; he is speaking to her, and
smoothing his hand down her hair. His body is slimmer than it had been before,
like he hasn’t eaten, slept enough and I wonder what’s happening. But it is
useless, I am to see but not understand. That is the punishment for what I have
done.
·
But what is that?
·
Notes: this one has 11,587
words
and to me it’s
done. There isn’t anything that I have to add, only spelling mistakes and that
shit. Though it does need a read through and all that crap, it’s not as
important to the whole book as the rest of them.
·
Re-write notes: done. Other than a few notes, I didn’t change
anything. But then, it hadn’t looked read through so that might change when I
do that.
Air starts;
·
“Wake up,” Trigger’s velvet voice says a
moment before he bounces on the bed, making the thing sway slightly as his
weight pulls down so close to me.
Wow. That’s a lot of words—don’t you think?
Anyway she wakes to find herself in Trigger’s bed,
and I think has a perfectly good reaction to that, even if it’s a little ‘YA
cliché’ it’s still not a cool thing for her to be there. Trigger says he slept
at her feet, and then they get ready for the day where Trigger explains that
they have to go and see the Tribent’s (who are the Pirates) to learn Air,
‘cause the fairies says she holds all elements and Trigger’s group is only
Earth (saying this, not everyone in the group has the ability, mostly just one
or two).
Then they are on there on their way. Then they are
there, facing off with one of the Pirate men who says that Trigger can’t go in
only Kayla. They have an argument about it, the Gabby (the air chick) comes out
and there’s an agreement.
Then Kayla is sitting on a chair opposite Gabby
(they are in a western type pub that’s got a water back drop with a massive
pirate ship behind it, I think it’s cool) they talk a bit, about Air, about
what it is (we do this with them all) and then they get down to business, where
Gabby teaches her. Then the leader shows up, and things get a little heated, or
windy as it might be. Trigger drags her away and then they are running from the
pirates, which has them climbing a tree, and us learning that Kayla is scared
of heights (it just happened and I couldn’t stop it, but yes, it’s a scene
where she’s petrified as she climbs from tree to tree).
At one point Trigger leaves her up a tree to go and
look at what the adults are doing. Which is talking to the Rebel fairies
(another plot point) and he tells her all this way while there up the tree
(again, it’s stupid thing, but again, it’s not really, ‘cause like she’d want
to start moving again, right?) they head home where they have a bit of a
romantic screaming match, and then they go and see what the others are doing.
There a gap here, and when it comes back they are
going into a different area of the Hollow (where they live, see, Peter Pan)
where the younger kids live. And I do mean young; the girl Kayla talks to is 8.
Kayla talks to her about things, and the kid explains growing up to her. The
Trigger comes back and takes Kayla away.
A gap. And they are back training. Then they end up
back in Trigger’s room. Where I have just found out that Kayla hasn’t been
sleeping in her own bed, but crashing all over the place. ‘Cause this time they
actually go into the room, that stifling hot, hence them being back in
Trigger’s room. Where Chunck’s (a boy) comes in and talks about a girl going
missing. This becomes a discussion about whether she’s grown up or lost. And
it’s more about the outta characters and their lives before going there. (In
actually there are a handful of outta characters that come up. And we learn
about most of them). After a while she gets up and goes to bed, her bed.
Then a gap and a dream. It ends;
·
As the tears in my eyes dry up, and the
wetness on my cheeks becomes sticky I fade off into a blackness that creeps up
on me, slowly taking away everything but the comfort of my mother’s arms, and
the heart that beats within her chest, and the sent that fills my noise, and
the voice mumbling my into a deep sleep that took me over completely.
·
Notes: this on needs work;
there’s 1,351 words (seeing the beach, the sand, the feel of it underfoot.
The sea, then the walk up it, the dock, the lodge thing) 11,068 words.
·
Re-write notes: this part could actually be ignored, but it needs
to be put in, especially if I can, right?? And even if I keep the part in the
whole thing. As long as the part where they see where the other live, that’s
important.
·
I didn’t do as good as job as I wanted to do when I first wrote it. but
I left the gap so what I’ve put makes scenes. Added 180
words.
Water starts:
·
It seemed to be a slight shift of my
body that woke me up. Like a starting pistol, I was awake, sitting on the bed
that I feel to sleep in, the room was stuffy with heat, and so the smell of
dark was like that of a greenhouse, not quite over bearing but defiantly heady.
It was nice.
This one has the scene that I think about whenever I
read this book.
Kayla wakes up in bed, only Trigger has been added.
He is sitting up along the wall and Kayla has been sleep in his arms. There’s
another ‘what the f—?’ but this one is a bit more gushy on his reply. It’s
sweet. Kayla goes and has a shower while Trigger catches up on sleep, and this
one is a little slower, having her notice herself, and what’s changed since the
hospital. She comes back out of the room to see Dunk (another of the boys) who
needs to talk to Trigger about the day’s events, there’s a little of his
history and they go eat together.
There’s a gap, and Trigger is going over the events
of the day. They are going to visit the mermaids, and ‘cause of what happened
last time, they are going as a group.
They reach the top of the cave, see the view (it’s
pretty) and when one of the merpeople come out they want only Kayla to go with
them, but Trigger isn’t having a bar of it, so they both go.
They have a talk with a mermaid about water, what it
is, how it breaths, and then they both get splashed and its dark, Trigger’s out
for the count and the cavern is filling up with water, rapidly. Kayla is
trapped and she doesn’t know what to do, seeing as she’s never learnt how to
swim.
But then when she’s about to give up. When the
waters about to cover their heads, she gets it (and yeah, it’s that way for a
reason) and she’s swimming them out and the boys are there to help. Trigger’s
out for the count and then there’s a gap (see below) and they are back home
where they are getting Trigger help. Kayla showers and then they are on the
same bed ‘cause they both need monitoring. She falls asleep into a weird wake
trapped dream, it ends;
·
The warmth sooths me again, rubbing in a
way that relaxes me all over again. it is only in my mind, I blink, without
even blinking and with the action my mind dies down in something that was not
sleep. Meditation maybe, it relaxes me, settles me and lets me float in its
warm arms until I couldn’t her see or fear anything.
·
Notes: there are two points that
need fixing in this one
·
I think shit
needs to be added, boring crap that needs to make people a little bored since
it’s all about waiting. And waiting isn’t the funest in the world to do….
·
And
·
need to get
them home, they need to meet with the Tibrent’s
·
and though I would really like to put this last one in, I’m not sure
it’s truly needed, though it could be. Hell, the worse is that I can’t remember
what meant to go there, hence my reasoning behind it not being needed. If it’s
not still in my head, then why was it to begin with.
·
All up, without adding anything this has 15,
535 words
·
Re-write notes: okay, so this part, what I’ve done is gotten rid
of the lines, and I have made them two parts. But this won’t work, there has to
be a link. I have to link them…. but at least I only have to write a few lines,
rather than what I wanted to do when I was first writing this.
·
Is ‘solidizing’ a word? And if so how the hell is it spelled? If not,
what am I meant to put there instead?
·
Added 661 words there is still that gap, but it sorta makes more
sense now.
·
I’m just going to leave out this part for now, I think. I might look
into it when I do the Fire part!!!
Fire starts; ßim up to.
·
“I’m fine,” Trigger’s voice snaps me out
of my sleep with a start that gets me sitting up.
They are surround by the boys that went with the
yesterday. This is the part that goes into what they went through. What’s
happening, and what happened on the way home (again it’s not there, ‘cause it
isn’t to begin with). There’s an emotion spillage with Kayla about everyone
wanting her dead. ‘Cause it’s not like it can be anything else now.
They then eat, clean and start talking about going
to the ‘Indians’ where I’ve left a mega spot open (I haven’t writing that part
in)
We come back to Kayla screaming ‘cause the fairies
have taken Trigger and the other boys. It then goes into Kayla going to the
fairies and realising how full of shit they really are (‘cause normally you
just believe what they are saying, its apart of their power, which Kayla has),
then she’s back at the Hollow and one of the Queen fairies that she meet in the
first meeting is telling her about the fact that she doesn’t have to stay there.
That soon she’ll have to choose whether this is where she wants to be or does
she want to go home. The reason she’s doesn’t have long is ‘cause she wants to
use her powers to get Trigger back and the use of powers concretes her into
their world. She says she’ll think about it, and the chapter ends:
·
He smiles, it’s so wide his cheeks
almost get lost in the expanse of his lips.
·
Notes: this also has two points. One a big on that’s
mentioned before. The note I’ve left myself is: Need to finish this up. Start of the day, going to fire,
learning, getting attacked, and the boys getting taken by who she thinks is the
rebels. They go after her and Trigger and the boys, but when the fairies come
they all band together
·
The one at the very end says: need to add her getting help but I’m actually
thinking that is going to be optional. Though I think it would help more if I
did have that little meeting with her and the ‘Pirates’ ‘cause that could help
justify what’s about to happen.
·
4,317 words, here now.
·
I think that the people here will need odd names as well. Though I
could call them fairy names I think….
·
Re-write notes: [will be updated]
Earth starts;
·
“How do you know the Rebels will be any
better?” Cleo asks me for the twelfth time.
Kayla has gotten Cleo (who is the leader and owner
of Fire) & Gabby and Caleb (from Air) they are walking towards the fairies
clearing and Kayla is telling them what they have to do so that they don’t get
tricked into the fairies magic.
When they get there, they realise what a mess the
place is. They start to fight trolls and Kayla gets guided by an unknown person
(who has been in and out of the picture threw the whole book) to the hole that
she needs.
Down there she confronts the Queen of All and
realises just what she’s been doing to the people of the lands. Then the Rebel
leader comes and they fight. Kayla ends up pulling down the walls around them,
trapping (and killing?) the Queen. She’s finally pulled out of the ground by
Trigger and then a decision has to be made. She looks around and it ends;
·
I take a deep breath, close my eyes.
·
I make my chose.
·
Long slow beeps ring loud in silent
ears.
·
A soulful sob. A flat line.
·
An end.
Notes: from the end of writing
this I have hated the end. I feel that it’s brushed over and I absolutely hate
that about books. So it’s more than likely that this will have a different
ending. Something more…thrilling, I guess, but that will defiantly come after
someone else reads it. There is so much other stuff I need to focus on.
Well this part has 5,285 words. And finishes off the books for me. yeah!!!
·
Re-write notes: [will update]
#
It the paper version of the first draft I have corrected a lot of my
spelling mistakes, little things that not even the computer will pick up. But
for now, I’m just going to leave them, get this ready and then before handing
it off I’ll got threw it on the computer and fixed the rest up, make sure it
reads alright, all that crap.
I remember coming out of it not that impressed. But
hey, it’s finished, and that’s a point. Now I just have to go back and fill in
the blanks.
So, all up this book holds 61,116 words, and the first draft was written between May and October 2011. The
second draft finished ?/ ?/2013
So there you have it. it’s a shame that it will
probably never go anywhere, not unless I want to get an agent and I’m not sure,
well, if I’m good enough, and more so, if this is what I actually want to do.
‘Cause I probably won’t need one since I really want to write m/m romance
erotica. But I do have a few ideas for these that I have… anyway, I’m not sure
it’s worth it. But I like the story, maybe when I get some money together; I’ll
take it to an editor?!
Thanks for the time
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment