Research and Me

i think i need to take a moment out of my life to sit back and realise I have do a great job at researching.

 

I went to an 'event' Monday night about traditional publishing or DIY. i wanted to learn something more about self-publishing, but it ended up being a talk from a guy who think self-publishing isn't real publishing and everyone who does it isn't good enough. That that it wasn’t real, that it was a pile of shit – making it sound as if everything self-published is Fifty Shades of Grey (or at least that's my impression). he then went on to talk about Amazon, only he went through Amazon direct. Which only helps people who think that's a good way to go about thing.

Then he took us on and step by step of everything that Amazon tells you when you sign up, and it’s not an assumption, he actually said that, too.

 

The worse, I believe, was the fact that everyone in the room was eating it up. Do people just not research about what's available before jumping in?!

 

It got me thinking.

 

When I started writing, and I mean, actually starting my first MF romance and I started in on a sex scene, I felt I needed to understand more. So you know what I did: Research. I researched females, males, sex, body types, genital types, different types of stimulation. Different type of cultures, lifestyles, and what each liked, and disliked. I read blogs and post on what woman liked in bed, what men liked, the different ways people came. What works for some, what didn't for others?

I bought the lesbian & gay men Kama Sutra, but honestly, that was because the books are beautiful (and I was writing a FF and MM story in the series).

 

I did this because I understand what I liked, I understood the way I got off, what my partner liked, but that was it, and frankly that isn't enough. I don't want to write my sex life repeatedly. Little creepy.

 

When I latched onto MM romance I did it all again. It didn't even register to me that I've already learnt enough about men, I just started over.

I read blogs by different types of people, both men and woman (and bitch all you like but there really isn't a fucking difference, not for a lot of the things you need, books related) I read coming out stories, or real life stories.

I read about preparation, from nearly 12 different sites. because even though I watched porn I didn't believe I understood what I was really getting into - people are right, porn isn't real life, they are paid, and they are taught how to protect themselves and to prepare themselves and it’s all done off camera.

 

I devoured everything that I could, from stories that people have spoken about to what I’ve watched to technical shit, and I keep on reading them. I honestly prefer when it comes from someone’s head, whether it’s bullshit or not (and it’s quick to pick up on that when you have read so many) to fictional, but I feel you should watch what you get from authors, even gay men, who write the same thing because they aren’t really telling the truth either.

(you have to remember, even with them, it’s what will sell)

 

When I decided to get published I spent over six months researching that.

I say over, because I started my research years before I was ready, and then Silver started to crash and I was back in that world, and then finally when I was ready I did it all over again.

 

I looked at others who were published there, the work they did, what type it was.

I looked at what authors from the company were saying.

I looked into the company itself (probably not as well as could have but I’m truly not that smart)

 

I looked at where they’d be distributing, and what was needed for that. I looked into the idea of self-publishing, and used it to some extent. It’s really not the way I’d like to go with my next book.

 

The thing is I have researched a lot. I have done a good job at it, and I need to take this moment to be proud of myself for it and for the fact that I’ll be continuing it, because I can’t stop myself, lol

 

Really, I put up a facebook post and one of my friends answered with Turkish Wrestling and I ended up researching it to find out what it was all about. I didn’t do a massive job on it, just watched a documentary, but then I wasn’t planning on writing a book about it.  

 

Anyway, this was about me taking a moment to be proud of myself.

And it worked. Because I Am.