This posting is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY.
It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers.
this is part of a blog story series, they are written completely and only for this blog, and are only edited by me. which means I've read threw it more than once before posting.
sorry for the mistakes, any comments, I'd be happy to hear, and fix, if I fell it truly needs it.
(there's a language thing I won't, but I'm happy to explain.
enjoy these stories--written just for you!
NOTES ON THIS TALE
This set of stories was created around an author writing a post about the facts of romances. How they are all about those moments leading up to the kiss. Not about the day to day of afterwards.
This one is about Mike & Jacob as they reach their 7th year of partnership and the rut that can come in those time of comfortable companionship that true love gives you.
This book was helped started from a line in ‘Here Kitty, Kitty (purrfect mates #1) by Joyee Flynn: [..] Ty said firmly. “We love you. Do you think either Avery or I would lie to you?”
“No,” Cord whispered. “No, you wouldn’t do that.”’
But how bullshit is that? Then maybe this book was just that sappy that I couldn’t help but find the fault. Pick at something that’s true.
Still, I’m a pessimist and this is what opened the story up for me.
Quick note: there isn’t actually anything to do with Christmas in July in this story like I had intended, but at the end of the day this is what Jake wanted to say, so he got it.
(4,933 words and doesn’t have a sex scene in it)
#1: Valentine’s Day
Happy Christmas in July
“I love you. Do you think I’d ever lie to you?”
“Yes! We lie the most to the ones we love.”
“Yeah, but it’s these we love that see right through it. And I know you see though me. But I guess more than anything its trust. Don’t you trust me baby?”
Mike sighed, sinking into the chair behind him. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? I’m not sure if you deserve it anymore.”
Mike waved his hand, brushed it all away, “It’s….little things I think. More so…shit.”
“What? Tell me. What have I done?”
Mike signed again, “I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a bitching wife. It’s nothing big, its little things. I’m just…I guess I’m… it’s just that—fuckit! It’s nothing. There’s nothing. I trust you, I have since I started falling for you, and unless I walk in on you fucking him over the back of the lounge I’ll trust you.” and with that he got up and walked out the door.
“What the fuck was that all about,” Jake muttered to himself. “And who’s he?” he yelled after his lover. But it was too late, Mike was gone, and even if he could hear the raised voice he wouldn’t have been listening to it.
Fuck. He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on with the man. Jake new things hadn’t been the bubbly best in there house. Hell, it had only been recently, when he’d realised that there anniversary was coming up that he’d concluded that things weren’t going great at home. It wasn’t bad either. Which made it worse.
With a sigh, Jake got up and continued getting ready to head into work. It hadn’t been an easy time for the centre lately. A new shipment of bodies had landed on his door after Detective Martins had busted open another prostitution ring and since Jakes’ centre now had the capabilities of rehab, in these cases, he had to go and pull one of the young boys off the roof.
Pulling his courage, that seemed to be trembling on the edge of losing, Jake walked back into the lounge room where he had been sitting with Mike, cuddling on one lounge like they did every night, but unlike all those others Jake had finally realised that they were stuck. That Mike didn’t even both to try and start anything with Jake like he used to, he just lay there in Jakes arms, commenting to him. Yelled at the screen.
He missed Mike as the man lay in his arms. Missed the man whose idea of relaxing at home generally involved kitchen water fights, or couch wrestling matching that ended up with them naked a sweaty. He wondered for a brief moment where that man had gone. Why had Mike changed to this subdue version of himself, until his phone started to ring in the other room and the man had heaved a sigh so loud that Jake could hear every word thrown his way. Even as none of them were being said.
It was his dream, his work. His life, which had made this man turn into something that didn’t want to get things started only to have Jake walk away and leave him unfulfilled. Jake knew this; they had had this argument before. Or more so, Mike had said those lines at him, a self-mocking quip that was said with a smile and an edge of laughter. Something the man had perfected though he’d been very good at it before Jake had ever met him.
The thing with Mike was that even as a large man he didn’t particularly like confrontation. Yeah, he got up in your face if you pissed him off enough. He yelled abuse back at you if he thought it needed it. Or if it was in defence of someone he loved. However, up against Jake, he was oddly shy about them. Almost like if he opened his month, he might end up walking out on Jake, and he didn’t want that.
At least, Jake really hoped that was the point. He hoped the man wasn’t biding his time, saving up money to leave him, ‘cause Jake wasn’t sure what he would do if Mike left him.
“You okay?” Mike’s voice broke into the heartache Jake was feeling at the thoughts bouncing around his head.
Jake smiled sadly at it. Mike still sounded pissed, it wasn’t a tone he used all that much, and if it was anyone else, Jake would know that when he came back there’d be pillows on the lounge waiting for him, ‘cause he wasn’t going to be welcome in bed. But with Mike, it wasn’t going to happen. No matter what. No matter how upset he was at Jake, no matter how much each of them yelled, at the end of the day they both lay in that same bed, and woke up a tangle of limbs. It made Jake know that they were perfect, that this, what they had, was the real thing.
“Yeah,” he finished his journey and kissed Mike softly on the lips from over the back of the lounge. “I’ll try not to be late—”
“But you probably will be,” Mike replied with a slightly watered down version of his smile. It was his resigned smile, and at the moment Jake realised he’d been seeing that a lot.
“You know I love you, right?” Jake spoke for just above the other man’s face, his lower back aching slightly from the angle and his aging body.
The smile turned sweet, “’Course. Love you, too.” They kissed, softly, a slight damping of lips before Jake pulled away and Mike turned back to the telly, the flicking the channels was more telling than anything else and made Jake’s chest tighten around his heart. “Now you better go before the place burns down.” that laugh, Jake hated that fucking laugh.
“Yep, see you when I get home,” he said looking down at the man, pressure pushed at the back of his eyes, but he swallowed it down.
“And I’ll see you in the morning,” he contoured, smiling up at Jake over his shoulder. “Hope everything goes well, baby, call us, if you need help.”
“Will do,” Jake said as he walked out the door, rubbing at his chest as he walked to his car. It had been a long time since Mike had offered to help, they both new Jake wouldn’t ever ring Mike. He wouldn’t pull him into the emotionally draining building that was his life’s work. It wasn’t that he wasn’t proud of the work; it wasn’t that Mike didn’t share those feelings. It was just that Jake didn’t feel that they both needed to go through it. Hell, Jake loved the fact that he had his home to come home to that was so separate from the battles he faced at work.
However, maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing he had ever done. Maybe, by leaving Mike out of it, he’d set himself up to carry a burden that had no way of leaving, ‘cause he didn’t want to put it on Mike.
“Hey boss, you look like shit, everything alright?” Colin asked, one of Jake’s older boys, the man had come into Jakes life when he had first gotten the papers for the set of building that he’s grandmother had left him. He had just started fixing them up. Going to the job site for a consulate one of the many problems, he faced with the old buildings when he quite literally tripped over Colin. The boy had barely been fifteen, he had been unwashed, and all but bones, with green and yellow bruised underlining the fresh purple ones. He’d smelt of old sex and general uncleanliness, and looked as if he were a breath away from bleeding out from under the rag he held against his throat was anything to go from.
It had taken quite a lot to get the boy up off the ground, and not just ‘cause he was heavier than he looked.
Jake had postponed his meeting to take the boy to the hospital, where he’d sat with him and waiting threw all the test and treatments. Helping the boy shower when he stubbornly told the nursing staff he didn’t need the help. And, finally as the boy opened up to him, as they waited for his realise. Telling Jake of the three years he’d been on the streets, ‘cause he’s uncle had been molesting him and when he’s parents had found out they had muttered that it was his fault as they pulled out his magazines and told him that it was gods punishment for his depravity.
He told Jake in a way of a hurt teenager, as if none of it was touching him or that Jake shouldn’t have been so surprised by the outcome of his life. That it was just that. Life.
Jake had wanted to cry over it. He had wanted to go to the boy’s house and beat the shit of this uncle for touching him when he had no right. Then his parents for making it as if the boy had any play in the sick mind of the older man. As if what Colin was, his sexuality was a result of anything other than genetics.
He couldn’t understand any of it. Not truly and deeply. He could worry. He could feel hate for all those who saw homosexuality as something other than what it was. But deep in himself he could only sympathise, he could not relate to any of the thing Colin was telling him. He hadn’t ever felt that type of hate in his life. He had been bless with parents that loved him for what and who he was, and friends who didn’t bat an eye, nor spout shit of knowing all the time, when he hadn’t a clue himself.
For the time of his life, and the time the world had stood in Jake had never had a problem with himself being gay. Nor did the people around him, and if they did, Jake hadn’t seen it. It hadn’t hate screamed into his face—yeah; he’d heard the snide comment of two thrown his way through his life, but nothing that was rememberable. That he didn’t brush off the moment it had been said. Nothing like what this boy had lived with for his life. That he was living with now.
Seeing that boy, Colin, living his life, Jake had completely changed his own. The next consult with his contractor had changed a few things to the building to make it into what it was today, a refuge for the homeless youth to stay for the night. It had taken a long time for them to get from just a building to the refuge and rehab clinic it was today. Along with another unit added to the mix and more professionals now on the pay roll.
They had opened up the whole place to the community not just the homeless, which brought in money that they needed, and helped create more beds and space for those who truly needed it.
“Jake, mate?” Colin said, he’s hands on Jake’s shoulders as he looked up into his face. “What’s wrong? Is it Mike?”
“Huh? Oh, no...” he smiled around the old memories, “just reminiscing.”
“Not a good idea, boss,” Colin said as he stood back, “not by the look on your face.”
He rubbed his face, taking in a breath and pushing everything he was feeling away so that he could do his job. “Yeah. So what’s the problem?”
“Yeah, the kid, Kevin, just turned back up, fucked off his face and slicing his arms up.”
“Shit,” Jake heart picked up in panic, like it always did when a kid suffered from life. This one was a hard one, too. His life worse than anything Jake had seen in a long while.
Taking a deep breath, he tried his hardest to push away his feelings, trying to get himself in a mindset that wouldn’t have him connecting with this boy in a destructive way. Some kids quite literally couldn’t be saved until they reached adulthood, all the employs here new that, Jake new that, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t want to try.
“Where’s he been?”
“As far as I can gather,” Colin said rubbing at his left biceps, it was a tick he created when he had started going through his own counselling, which meant, sitting in a room with Jake as he spilled his life in minute-to-minute details of it. For them both to be able to help, to get their own degrees they had to empty themselves out and for Colin, Jake was the only one he could trust. “I think they put him in an anti-gay-commune.” He spat the last word out. Degusted at the words he said. at the idea of anything that was designed to ‘cure gay’, like what they were was a fucking disease.
Jake felt the same. The fuckers that ran the camps should all be hung, thinking themselves about God, thinking they could pray the gay out of people. Which really meant they were treated worse than slaves were a centuries ago. Jake had not met a person who came out of one of those places better off. Mostly they were fucked up mentally to a point that they would end up killing themselves because of feeling they couldn’t help but feel. Or they were sexually and physically abused because the people that ran the camps were child molested who had finally found a good place to hide themselves. A place where parents actually gave them their children to, with a signed contracted that said they didn’t want to know what was happening to the child they were meant to protect.
“Yeah, my thoughts too,” Colin nodded as he started walking to the elevators that would take them to Kevin’s room. At least that’s were Jake thought Colin was taking him.
Jake sighed; he’d been doing it a lot tonight. He was kinda getting over it.
“There isn’t much we can do for him, not yet.”
“We can get the knife off him,” Jake said. “See if we can find a reason for Kevin to live.”
There was a long pause as the elevator took it’s time getting to them.
“Is there?” Colin asked real softly. All Jake could do was shrug. He surely couldn’t see one for the boy, not in the short term. It made him sad to his core.
In the elevator, Jake took up point leaning against the rail along the back. Looking at his own reflection that bounced back at him three-ways. “Why the fuck did we put mirrors in the elevator?”
Colin’s reflexed his smile, “original design.”
“who the fuck thought it a good idea?” he bitched, letting just that little bit of anger and frustration out on something none-consequential made him feel a little better. Especially for the fact that he was about to walk into someone else’s hell.
“Probably the same person who designed the roof mirror,” Colin laughed at Jakes scrunched noise. “What? It’s fucking hot when there’s someone in here worth seeing.”
“Yeah...” he sighed, this time with a tone that would have made anyone but Colin blush. They had been through way to much together to ever get embarrassed. “I remember now. It’s a good reason we don’t have cameras in here.”
Colin full out laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s the reason we opted out of them.”
They had them though. It was irresponsible on so many levels not to have camera in the lifts. Not when they had room after rooms of recovering junkies, who had memories that turned them that way. The cameras also always running, only they were only displayed as a square box on one screen in there security room. But then that was the way for all the camera, since they had to have ones in the bathrooms as well. They weren’t allowed a security person to watch them, hell; most of them weren’t even on unless you pulled them up. It was the only way they were allowed to have them. And they were never allowed to be recorded.
The lift doors opened and screams and shouts filled the hallway. A male’s voice full of hysteria yelled things that Jake was purposely ignoring, as he pulled in as much air as he could and tried his hardest to push away everything that he was so that he could try and save this one boy that had true reasons to end his life.
“Not a bit,” Jake replied as he walked out of the elevator and entered someone else’s world.
Home again. Jake was drained of everything that he could hardly get his feet to move forward. He stood at the edge of the driveway and looked at the front door. The soft light of their security light lit up behind him. The square cuts of light from the front door was all he was looking at, as he stood there feeling the weight of a world on his shoulders. But he had to get over it. Had to pull himself together so that Mike didn’t have to deal with all this crap as well. He didn’t want Mike to see the horror the world had to offer. Didn’t want him to have to deal with the crap people put on each other just because they can.
Taking care of Kevin hadn’t been as hard as he thought it would be as he walked into the room to see a cry spitting boy with blood running down his arms in light snitches as the kid cut away his hurt.
He just didn’t want to deal with the world anymore, and Jake had given him a place to start. They had called up one of Jakes old friends who was a lawyer and they had started the work in getting Kevin free of his overly religious family. They had gotten the knife out of his hands and the promise that he wouldn’t pick it up again. They had gotten him to sleep with Colin wrapped up behind him. Protecting him from the world so that he could have this moment to sleep. Something Jake felt he hadn’t done in a long time.
Tears clogged up Jakes throat as he tried to push them back. His chest hurt from all the emotions he had been trying to hide. He didn’t have time for this. He didn’t want to stand here and cry. he wanted to go into the house and be that other man. That man Mike loved and cherish. He wanted to walk in that door and changed everything they had been settling for and become that passionate couple they use to be.
He wanted the world to be different.
He wanted to care less.
He just wanted this weight off his shoulders.
“Jake, what are you doing out here?” Mike’s voice came to him to early. He wasn’t ready to deal with him yet. He wasn’t ready, he couldn’t…
“Oh god, babe, what’s wrong?” Mike’s arms came around him, pulling him into the strong shoulders that made up the love of his love.
A sob tore out of his throat, hurting the muscles as it made its way into the world. Jake couldn’t stand the sound of it, but he couldn’t seem to stop it, nor the one that followed as he quite literally crumbled into the powerful body of his lover.
“Shit babe,” Mike’s voice wavered a little, sympathy, Jake knew. He didn’t want Mike to cry because of him. He most defiantly didn’t want him to feel sorrow for him. He just couldn’t seem to stop the current of pain that he’d been holding in for far too long. “Shit, come on, let’s get inside. It’s cold out here.”
Jake followed as Mike nearly carried him into the house. They stopped briefly at the lounge as Mike pulled Jake’s car keys out and wallet and threw them onto the coffee table before pulling Jake into his arms and the plush cushion of there lounge.
“What is it, babe, what happened?”
“Nothing,” Jake said, “nothing really. Just… just everything.” He said in a calmer voice than his body was humming. The sobs hadn’t lasted all that long, not when he allowed himself to cry like a bitch. It just felt good to have this man hold together as he feel apart. It felt good that he was here with Mike.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. After a long moment of tears, and calm down.
“Oh, babe, you don’t ever have to apologies for cryin’.”
Jake smiled slightly, it wasn’t a happy smile, but it meant the world to him that Mike pushed aside everything he was feeling for Jake, just ‘cause he needed him.
“No, for before, I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you,” Jake muttered, taking Mike’s hand in his, he didn’t want to lose contact. Afraid if he did he would lose everything.
“You haven’t been,” he blushed.
“I don’t understand, you were saying… and I thought…”
“Really Jake, it’s not…. Shit,” he rubbed his face with his free hand. It warmed Jake’s soul that he didn’t let go. “It’s more that you’ve been pullin’ away and I… I—fuckit—I thought you’d found someone else.”
Jake wanted to laugh; he didn’t, not having the energy in him for that, especially when nothing that Mike said was funny. “Could never find anyone else,” Jake muttered pulling Mike’s hand up to brush a kiss on his knuckles. “You’ve been the only one for me since I saw that plumbers crack of yours.”
That made Mike laugh, “It is a beauty.” The sobered, “I’m sorry if I added stress you didn’t need. I just… it’s hard when I saw you pull away and no matter what I did you did seem to be coming back.” another laugh, self-mocking, “and now I sound like a house wife.”
Jake smiled softly; he felt the love pool in his eyes for this one man. How anyone could love someone as much as Jake loved Mike, he wasn’t sure, but he’d long since fought it, especially when Mike took that battle Olympic style after their first encounter. “Theirs worse things than sounding like a wife.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Being right?” he said tanking that little bit of good humour they had.
The pause that filled the room felt like Jake had just been dumped in Antarctica. Nothing but white snow for miles in all direction, not point of reference for him to get out. And cold as hell. If it wasn’t for that simple linking of their hands Jake didn’t know what he would do.
Than softly, “Am I?”
Panicked “no,” he tightened his hand around Mike’s. “No, there’s no one else. There’s just me and you, there will only be us, even if you leave me.” he swallowed hard trying to get his thoughts inline as his life seemed to crumble around him.
“Than what is it, Jake, why do I feel you’re not here anymore?—work. It’s this, isn’t it? Why are you trying to hide it from me? Do you think I can’t help? That I don’t want to help?”
“No. please Mike, no, it’s not that…. I just don’t want…. You shouldn’t have to…”
“Shouldn’t have to what? Look after you?” he was getting angry now. “You don’t think I want to help shoulder some of your weight so you don’t drown in the horror you work in? Fuck you Jake.”
“No, wait,” Jake held harder to Mike’s hand as he tried to stand up, to walk away. Tears he didn’t think he had left leaked out. “Please, it’s not…” the link was tared away from him. “You’re the only good thing in my life,” Jake nearly screamed at Mike. “I don’t want you to be like me! You don’t deserve that.”
“Deserve what?!” Mike said back, in the same tone. “I don’t deserve to look after you. To make your life easier?” he signed and sat back down, “were partners Jake, in everything, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s killing you, which is hurting me.”
Another long pause, where Jake just stared at the heartbroken look that took over Mike’s body.
Then softly, “it’s breaking my heart,” Mike said to the coffee table, “We can’t survive if you keep all this from me.”
“It’s not you, it’s not us, please Mike, I have someone I talk to about work stuff,” Jake said still standing there looking down at his lover. “I have someone that deals with that crap; you don’t need to have it too.”
“Isn’t that the problem,” he muttered almost too quietly for Jake to hear him. But it was darkly spoken and sparks fired up inside Jakes mind.
Jake nearly laughed, as it was a puff of air made noise as it came out of his throat. “You think me and Colin…?”
Mike looked sideways at him, his eyes narrowed, his lips thinned. “I told you before you left tonight that I trusted you. What more do you want from me.”
Jake paused at the venom in Mike’s tone.
“No, wait, are you jealous of Colin?”
Mike through up his hands, “of course not, what do I have to be jealous of? He’s only a kid you took off the street and helped create a life for. He’s only the one person in the world you trust with your inner secrets. What the fuck would I have to be jealous of?!”
“Shit,” Jake cursed himself, “fuck I’m an arse, aren’t I?” he said, not realising that this was more than just him shouldering more than he should. At least to Mike, it was about him not putting his complete and utter trust in the one person that held it. or at least, it was not showing said man that he was the only one he trust with all his secrets, even if he didn’t let them go all that much. “shit.” He laughed.
“I don’t tell Colin anything that you don’t already know, love,” he smiled, it was bright from relief, he couldn’t help it. Even if there problem wouldn’t go away as quickly. “I don’t. And I understand if you don’t believe it, but it’s true.”
Mike sighed; it took a long time before he spoke again. “Who do you talk to then?”
“No one,” he spoke with utter conviction.
“What?” Mike’s surprise startled Jake, alone with that trace of anger. “You’re telling me that you’ve counselled all those kids. Kids that have worked through hell, and aren’t even considered teens yet, and you don’t talk to anyone? No one at all?”
“Right,” Jake said, a little unease running through his tone.
Hands gript his shoulders hard, forcing Jake to look Mike full in the face.
“Are you an idiot? Fuck me dead, Jake, are you insane?”
“Not that I know of,” Jake tried to lighten the mood. Though it wasn’t as bad as it had been, the crazed look in Mike’s eyes scared the crap outta him, mostly ‘cause he was sure it was because he was scaring the crap outta Mike.
“Coulda fooled me. fuck.” He let do, “fuck. That’s it Jake, even I know it’s mandatory for you to have a session of your own, I don’t know how often or anything like that, but you have to.” He started passing, “tomorrow, we are going to find you a therapist, and you are going to go to him every time you are meant to.” He suddenly violently sat back down. His eyes still held that crazed look, the sheen to them pulled at Jake’s own heart nearly paralysing him in disgust at himself for putting his lover through this sort of pain.
“I need you around,” Mike said, it was violent, it was gentle, it was love in a pure form that couldn’t seem to find a solid ground to stand on. Not while so much was pumping threw him. “For ever, ‘til we are so old we can drift off into the afterlife together. I need that Jake. I need you to be here forever. Do you understand that? I don’t think I can live without you?”
Tears pushed at the back of Jakes eyes, they hurt his head slightly, “I understand.”
“Then you need to treat yourself better. Your mind is the most important part of you. It’s the first thing that I fell in love with. You need to treat it better. Okay?”
“Okay?” he smiled.
“Yeah, so you’ll see a shrink for me?”
“Anything for you,” Jake promised, he leant in and brushed a wet kiss across Mike’s dry lips. Smiling slightly when he pulled back.
“Okay,” mike nodded, “good. Okay, um… bet you’re tried, we should get you to bed.”
“Shower first,” he really needed to wash this night off him.
“You want some help?” Mike smiled, it held that wicked edge that was lust and playfulness all wrapped in one.
Jake’s smile was full and wide, Mike hadn’t lost it. It hadn’t been crushed away under their problems and the time they had lost in there slump. It had just been buried under the insecurities of their relationship. Of his inability to share his problems with the ones he loved.
That would all change now. Jake smiled as Mike led him to the bathroom, and hopefully, with a little more work on his part a happier forever than they had been living.
Well, that’s it until Halloween when we get the next chapter of Mike and Jakes life. This one will be set sometime in the future, I was hoping for ten from now, but on thought of that, it might make them too old for the story to truly work.
Anyway, you’ll see what happens just after I do.
If you want, a sex scene between these two character than tell me and I might be inclined to throw them into ‘story corner’ every now and again.
I do not own the photo, if you wish it to be taken down, tell me and it's off!!