Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Welcome All

It’s so funny, you come to points in your life that you think you’re handling a lot better than you really are. This is one of them for me.

Love Without Knowing it, means so much to me. not just the book, but the series, the idea that I had and the fact that I’m still so passionate about this idea, about this charity and about the book I wrote back in January this year.

I’m not going to get into this book that much now, and it’s something I’ve debated for the last month now, but it’s more important to promote the charity then it is my book, and therefore the reasons behind this book. The charity I’m raising money for, by publishing this book, will all come to light in November, as of now, just know that this one means a lot to me. a lot more than all the other books I’ve published so far.

Now, that I wrote it in a way to give awareness to the men in your life. To show you in a way the light and the stress. To have you understand parts of a sickness that is still killing too many of our males. and it’s done in a light, sweet, happily ever after way.

I decided on this mostly because I think it makes for a better read, for something more will read because there isn’t anything horrible in it. It’s just a love story, full stop. It’s a short little love story with a message that I hope everyone takes to heart.

Before we get to the excerpt, you should take a moment to click over to Multitaskingmommas for a review and the first excerpt of this book.

           Excerpt #2
Paul hated this feeling of dread. Being home in Matt’s apartment wasn’t helping. He hated not knowing what to say, what to do. He hated this fear, this guilt, this threat that he was going to lose his mate.
He felt a driving need to interrogate Matt for more information even though he knew Matt had told him everything he could. Why couldn’t he see that Paul was going insane with the need to know more? He needed every bit of information he could possibly get this hands on.
That started with the internet. He needed it now. His fingers itched to do some research, but he didn’t want to be one of those people who went onto Dr Google and found the worst possible diagnoses’ straight away. Honestly, he just needed something to do more than anything else. Paul knew it wasn’t the right moment to start interrogating his lover, and he also knew Matt definitely wasn’t up for the nitty gritty of it all.
A deep shuddered intake of breath from nearby had Paul turning to Matt, who appeared to be using every bit of will power he had not to cry. Paul felt his own chest tighten a little more.
“Tea or coffee?” Paul asked, aiming to distract even if his words came out scratchy.
Slightly glassy eyes looked up, but their gazes never quite met. Matt cleared his throat before he replied, “Tea please, two sugars and a touch of milk would be nice. And a Tim-Tam if there’s any left…”
The sound of anguish in Matt’s voice made Paul’s throat close and his eye sting. He needed a moment alone, just as much as he thought Matt did.
Filling the jug with enough water to make two cuppas, Paul flicked it on and then rested his hands on the bench as he sucked back the need to cry. He could do this. He could do this with Matt. He could be everything Matt needed him to be. A rock. The strength that would hold him up. Weird, he had never done anything like this before.
He took a deep calming breath, gathered all these intense and untested emotions into a tight ball, and tucked them just under his heart. He would analyse and deal with them later. Right now was for Matt. Tea.
He’d made a promise that he wouldn’t leave Matt alone all day. He hoped he didn’t have to leave through any of this, but that was neither practical nor reasonable for either of their mental health. The thing was he had no intention of letting Matt deal with any of this alone, and until someone else showed up to help, Paul was what Matt got.
With the tea ready, he carried the two cups and a packet of biscuits under his arm, making a bit of noise as he entered the room. He pretended not to notice Matt wiping his nose with the bottom of his shirt.
“Here.” Paul gently handed him his cup.
“Ta,” Matt replied, his smile watery, but thankful.
They didn’t speak much as they drank their tea. Nor did either of them turn on the telly. They just sat in the silence of the world, both separately pondering what the future may hold.
Paul tried multiple times to come up with something to say, but he just couldn’t find anything. Nothing. Not a thing.
He had a moment of fear that he might be intruding too much into Matt’s life. Was he stepping over the line? Did Matt secretly want him gone? Stupid thoughts really, because deep down he understood he was already neck deep in a complicated relationship with Matt. The longer they sat in this comfortable silence the more uncomfortable it became for Paul, as if he was trying to fit his feet into shoes two sizes too small. Awkward really, yet he was more than happy to squeeze himself into the fuckers. Anything to help Matt know he wasn’t in this on his own.
“You don’t have to stay, ya know.”
“I know,” he mumbled back, wondering what he could do to change, to lift the mood of the moment. His eyes flicker over Matt as he spoke, watching his shoulders sag. Was it relaxation, relief, or disappointment? Paul wasn’t sure, but he’d be damned if he was going to leave without explicit instructions.
“So, you ever gonna tell me what the doc said?” Paul asked as he settled further into the lounge. He hooked his ankle over his knee, making sure his whole attention never left Matt.
“I did. He said he was worried, but not because of the swollen prostate alone, more the lumps along the rectum wall.”
“Not worried about…dude, your prostate was as big as a peach.”
Matt rolled his eyes. A smile lifted up his lips; it did a lot to help soothe some of those worries in Paul’s chest. “You’re exaggerating, mate.”
Paul lifted a brow. “Seriously, the fucker rubbed at my cock head when I was fully planted.”
Matt laughed. “He thought that maybe I had an infection.”
“That’s…really—is that true?”
Matt shrugged. “It’s what he said. He was honestly more worried about the lumps than the prostate itself. Dude, I think it’s weird too, but it’s the truth. Why would I lie?”
“I guess, though it’s a gland, so if ya got like glandular fever or something it might blow up a little.”
Matt laughed hard. “I can just see it now, ‘Oh, your throat’s sore, just drop trou and let’s get a gander at that prostate.’”
It felt so good to laugh.
They let things slide after that, and if Paul was totally honest with himself, he didn’t particularly want to talk about it anymore. He needed a break. Selfish of him, yes, and he was probably going to get an ulcer from the guilt, but at least it gave Matt a bit of timeout as well.
Paul wasn’t sure how long they’d sat there before Matt got up and went to the toilet. Paul cleaned up the cups.
A sharp crash from the bathroom had his feet running in that direction before his brain could catch up.
“Matt?” He knocked on the door. “Matt, what’s going on? Are you okay?” He gripped the doorhandle and turned. Thank-fuck it was unlocked. There had been some form of mumbled answer, but Paul hadn’t been able to understand it.
Matt was standing over the toilet, cock in his hand, pointing down into the bowl with a pinched look on his face…
“Can’t piss,” Matt whispered as he looked up at Paul.

When everything Paul had ever known turned upside down, suddenly he needs to man up and fight for the love he’s always feared.
Paul’s life was set. He had what he needed and what he was comfortable with. Then a night with one of his regular lovers pulls him into the drama of sickness, love, and death.
In the end, Paul needs to work a few things out first: Is he strong enough to fall in love with a man that may need more than he’s able to give, or will he fall into old habits and run when the relationship gets too complicated?
Love Without Knowing It by Bronwyn Heeley
(November #1)
Publish 1 November 2014 by Bony Dee
Contemporary LGBT Romance
Amazon ǀ Smashwords ǀ ARe ǀ B&N
Note: through the month of November 2014 all profits from this book will be donated to the Movember charity
a Rafflecopter giveaway

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