Monday, 23 January 2012

Let's Have A Chat....

since it's been awhile since I sat down and dribbled on about nothing. 

let's talk, yeah, okay so this isn't something that I planned out, which sucks, mostly for you, because thing with plans are why better than letting me go on my own with no real end in sight, but I did have something worth talking about but my brains been acting out and I'm having trouble doing a lot of things word related. Which sucks mostly for my kids because I'm having difficulty read books to them at night. I'm just not working and I think it's because I haven't just sat down and wrote. Which is something that I have to do!

It’s like...ha, I can't actually think of what it is. I'm going through my head thinking of what other people say in times like this, but I can't seem to put any of them on me. I just have to write. I need to empty my head of the crap that fills it up. 

Sometimes it good shit, like stuff to do with the family, to do with my kids. Sometimes it's the shit things I've said, the embarrassments that keep taking time out to replay themselves inside my head, showing me crap that could have been a lot different if I did this, or said that. But mostly it's just random crap. Kinda like this shit really. 

It to mean shows that no matter how, of what I do threw my life, no matter if I get a published book or not, I will always write, and now that I have the concept of how to write a story that's something I will keep up until I die, because I have to, if I don't empty my brain out I end up getting fucked, like now when I have trouble remembering what words are, and they are simple words, like...arm rest, or drink. Really that's how fucked up my brain is. Aren’t I lucky?!

I feel sometimes that it's what the real difference between who have to write because it's a passion and ones that just want to write a story, for whatever reason they want to do it for. 

Yeah I was the type that woke up one morning and thought...nar, mine was more 'I could do that', not 'I want to do that.' (I'm talking about write a book here if you don't know that). i think that if I thought I just wanted to write one to get published, or even to see if I could get published. And I'm not thinking they have less passion driving them, I actually think they can have more. They are also the people that are more likely to get published quicker because instead of writing a story because it's already in their head, they write one that fits with today. They look at the world, at what's out there and what isn't and they write in a way that can fit and yet stand out at the same time. 

Where as a person who has the idea already has difficult because they write what they truly love, they already have that there, and nothing they can do will change it, will make any difference because they can't stop until they are finished. 

Now I could be dead wrong, and usually I am, but that's me. I'll only know one way of thinking until someone who things another way corrects me or ever helps me understand that side. I understand that, I really do. And I'm more than happy to have people tell me what that is. Tell me how crap I am. What was right and wrong about the things I talk about, about the things I write. It’s the reason that I post short stories because I want the impute, I want to become something that people could be proud to buy. I want my books to be loved, to be treasured, and if I'm lucky become something of a classic across the lands.

Now I'm in no way thinking this will ever happen. Come on, I'm shit at most of the things I do when it comes to writing because I'm shit at that crap, I really need to do some rethinking, crap! I think I'm getting depressed. shit! 

I'm not that bad, really, even though what I've already written isn't that great, people seem to like the way I write, yeah it can get a little blue, but who the hell wants to read something overly happy??

Oh, there are a few things I wanted to talk about. Actually. 
first I'm thinking of new ways to change my blog up a little, mostly it will be so that when the year mark comes I can have something new about it, but I'm thinking I'm just going to slowly change it from now on. One of them is going to be with my BOOK SHELF, because I don't particularly like the way it is, or maybe it's just that I have this cool idea of how I would like it and I know that I'm most likely not going to be able to do it fully the way I like because, well, I just not gonna, not unless I get someone who really knows what they are doing, and maybe ever have to go and get a website, not stay as a blog, but who knows, maybe I could have it. We’ll see.

Second is that I'm going to make a free app for me novella, so that you don't have to be hooked up to this to read the story I wrote. I'm really happy with the things that I changed in it, and more so I think that it would be great publication for me if I have it available. Like obviously I want it so that you can put in one your nooks/kindles/iPads, that sorta shit. But I have to actually talk to someone about it, and maybe even get myself a cover, but then I have one in my mind that I thought up about this book a while back so I might just make it come true. 

anyway, that's the two things I really want to see happen in the next couple of months but they might take a bit, so don't think anything of them, by year’s end they will be up and running and reading for whoever wants them. 

I think that's it.
thanks for your time....

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