Saturday, 10 November 2012

Memoirs of this Delusional Writer #10

Starting paragraph
Something hit him. Slammed into his thighs and Tim’s world tipped on its hinges and went toppling into darkness.
Forever with my Werewolf (MW #2) page 24

What I’ve done
 (This part is set up with what I wanted to do this week and what actually happened

The book

What I’m hoping


Forever with my Werewolf

To finish it

9,119 / 19,808 wc

Seeking my Werewolf

Start –continue on….

Next week

The Excuses
·         I don’t need one. I did the best fortnight since writing [NameLess]!!! Woohoo I did great this time round. I’m super happy. Though that helps I’m riding the ‘just finished’ high.
Thoughts for Thoughts
I got my new glasses, yeah! I can see again. I’d forgotten, in my blurry long distance vision, how much colour there was in the mountains. How many different reds and greens there are in the gum trees, and other unnative trees for the mountains.
Also, they were back burning today, what made this awesomely cooler than normal (I love bush fires—lucky I live in the Blue Mountains, right? We get a shit load of them (well, except for this past five rainy years)) so I got to watch as I drove home, the bubble of smokes, darker at the bottom and whitening towards the sky, it was awesome and if I had a better phone I would have taken photos for you all.

Also, on my travels I came up with another start—or reason to meet—plot line for one of my m/m novels (so, moonlit wolves, because it can be interoperated into that series). I’m thinking of a guy takin’ his car into a body work place ‘cause his missus smashed it to bits when they broke up (there’s a little more to it, but if I tell ya that, I’ll be givin’ you the whole caboodle. And that part is still mulling itself and growing into itself. And really, it takes a little longer for us to except ourselves then it does for others to notice it),

Sun: I’m thinking about writing a story for Christmas. Just a short tale to put up on my blog for you all to read. Would that be something you’re interested in?
I have a few thoughts. Mostly they are story I was thinking of making full novels, but now….
1.      A pregnant teen falls in love with the nephew of the gay couple that she is giving her baby too. (called: Making Babies)
2.      a historical fantasy, a woman falling for a Kings killer (this is very old idea)
3.      I was thinking I could do a Christmas with the fellows of the Moonlit Wolves series—it’s been a thought for a while. This one being in Matt’s point of view. His first Christmas with his mate and there new family. Only thing with this, it will have people from stories to come. And the surroundings would be gone into all that much, because they will come from book 4. But…..?
So tell me if you’d like it, and what story you’d like to see?

1,590 words: Forever with my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #2)
A lot of it I wrote at night while I watched Mr and Mrs Smith (2004), it’s a movie I actually like. I think it’s well written. I think they characters are nicely placed; I think it helped because there was that sexual tension between the two of them outside of the movie, so that was really there. That drive. And Angelina is actually nicely suited for these types of movies. It’s what her career it based on.
I wouldn’t say it was my fav—hell I wouldn’t even buy the damn movie, but whenever it’s on the Telly I always watch it.

(I left them at the start of a sex scene—a reunited sex scene. Honestly I could end the book here, and I thought I might have to, but then I remember that Tim and Colin hadn’t had the talk about what he is, and being as this is the second one. And the man would be curious that should actually be seen on the page.
I also need to re-introduce you all to Jex and Matt (from book 1) I’m also need to have a little bit of a break down with Phil because he’s up next, and his story actually started, well, in chapter 6 of this book.
But it’s looking like I might not get that many words, unless I put in another sex scene, which I probably should, since it’s meant to be an erotica. And we are about to write the first full penetrated scene. The last was only the start.)

Tue: 778 words: FwmW (MW #2)
·         Sex scene—done! I’m hoping I conveyed the forcedness of the act. That need for reassurance.
[Chapter 6; 2,225]
·         Next up… meeting Matt and Jex, learn and question Werewolves!

Wed: my head is empty, and it’s starting to freak me out. I don’t like being normal….
There’s no chaos, there’s no story, there’s no games. There’s nothing. I’m empty. And I feel life’s not worth the normalcy.

·         I just realised last night that I fucked this all up. I already wrote that Matt and Jex were there. They are both in the starting line. Which sucks since it took me awhile to start it off and now it looks like I’ll have to take it all out and start fresh—or at least, get rid of that starting lines, that part where there both there. (coloured this part in pink so I know what needs changing (207 words)
154 words: FwmW (MW #2) it was like pulling teeth

Thurs: first up, let’s check in on my mental health—it’s not looking good
(This is my check list for you, of how far into my depression I landed before I realised what was going on. In no particular order, really I can’t remember which came first)
1.      Lack of Sleep: though most of the time that I have been having really bad sleep, even complained about it for the last week or two.
But no, it’s the need to always sleep. That’s what I’m really feeling, not a lake therefore.
2.      Not Eating: this one is simple and it’s why I feel that my depression comes from my low iron, or that the low iron brings it on. Because one of the things about not having enough iron is a suppression of appetite. It’s a curl cycle that one. (though I’m not enigmatic, in case you were wondering, just sit on the line)
3.      Lake of Drive: I don’t want to do anything. Get up and eat. Clean the house. Write my book. Read any books.
Meet people, talk to people, spend time with friends, family, kids, partner.
4.      Lake of Self-Worth: I’m saying it this way, but it’s a big one. Putting myself down about how I look was what clued me on. This time it wasn’t a put down on my writing skills (my mind has learnt it gets caught quicker with that one)
5.      Lake of Imagination: I’ll say this one because it’s what’s happening, I can’t think of anything to write. Can’t seem to string more than two words together without it feeling like torture. My mind is…blank.
So there’s the list, and with it, I swallowed an Iron Tablet, and will do so again tomorrow, and see if that makes things better.

738 words: FwmW (MW #2)
·         I’m still here; I’m still struggling with what’s coming up. I think it’s because it’s boring as bat shit. For me, anyway, because I already know this shit. What’s worse is that to make this a series that doesn’t need to be in order, or doesn’t need much for you to skip a book, then I’ll have to explain, and that just sucks.
Worse, is that the explanation will have to come in the next, what, 5 books, or how are you all going to learn it to a point that you don’t need it anymore?
I think I’m doing a shit job at this explaining thing to.

Fri: partners not home tonight. So therefore I have to finish at least the next major part in this book. So here’s what’s about to come next:
·         Need to finish this conversation with the boys about werewolves and Tim. Need to have them being a little more aggressive, and for Tim to see what he’s not let himself see before.
1,012 words: FwmW (MW #2)
       [Chapter 7; 1,786]
·         Add in another sex scene, this one will be up against a house, or a fence, something that’s between where the boys live and Tim’s home, but—for obvious reasons—not where people can see (so, semi-private)
·         This is where we get a little….um… shit; I’m not sure what the word is. I’m crap at these things. But I feel that the book isn’t enough. Like I’ve not put enough into it. I would really like this book to end with this last fucking. Mostly because I think it would work nicely for the next book—though that one is going to be at least another two months from this.
·         Oh….maybe I could make the last bit Tim thinking, talking to Terry, even, about it all, and really working it all out. And then Colin craws into bed smelling like wolf and pine. (I like that…it’s nice and helps because Terry, his mate, is going to have a book as well, #11)
·         With the not enough, this book is a part one of part two, #3, mostly because we get Craig in that book, and he’s one of the hunters from this book, so therefore they become safe in that book when Craig goes to Phil rather than sticking with his dad. So…that makes sense, doesn’t it? And more so, I really don’t want to have a massively high violent range in this series.
It also helps because book 4 is something completely different and about them getting more than what they have. It’s got nothing to do with hunters.
Book 7 brings in another violence angle.
Yeah, so I didn’t do as well as I hoped—oh well, tomorrow maybe.

Sat: Okay, so I am finishing the above today—not the whole book, not if I can’t, but the points that I have made above, I’ll see at the end if it needs more
For finishing it I’m giving myself the reward of reading ‘Because it’s True’ which I’ve started (couldn’t help it. I’m up to page 46) and really want to finish. So….I better get writing, since the quicker I finish the quicker I get to read it!!!

Scratch that—I have one piece to read. Just found out its sitting at my parents’ house and my sis isn’t around, so I get to read it first. And I will. Now. So if I don’t get to this today, let’s push it off until tomorrow.

Sun:  okay, let’s start re-start: what’s above comes down here!
1,430 words: FwmW (MW #2)
       [Chapter 8; 1,752]
·         Sex scene—DONE
·         Call to Terry, followed by working it all out. There doing it while fishing. Yeah, I don’t know all that much about it, and I made him in love with it. shit. Means when his book comes I’m actually going to have to look that shit up. Shit. But I’m mentioned it. Given him that back story. I can’t not use it now.
Okay…that didn’t go how I expected it too. Hum…
Shit, what the fuck….seriously, what the fuck!!! We just got a little intense. And Terry’s story a whole lot fucking interesting.
·         NEED TO; back into the story and change there know of Terry, for this last part to work. Also gotta check the time line, make sure that sits right.
·         Fuck, Kyle’s in it all too. Yeah….*sarcasm* —figured out his Brad’s story!
·         We leave at the start of chapter nine….I don’t know how I’m going to end this one. I need a good ten thousand words, if I can, so…. Maybe I’ll have that a hunter finds him again…maybe….

Mon: 1,747 words: FwmW (MW #2)
       [Chapter 9; 1,747]
·         It may only be 17,000 or so words, but I can already feel the ending creeping up. The excitement has caught my fingers, almost making it too hard to type the right words. This is what I missed from the last book (BoD), I didn’t get this excitement bubbling up as I crept closer and closer to the end.
I have that now. I’m excited, and as long as I get things going, I’m hoping along hope that I can get this down before the other half comes home and I give up the computer.
·         Damn, I think I’m going to have to put in a last sex scene, or none of this will be resolved. Great. –actually I might not have to, but there’s only been like two actually scenes, and one was a flashback, if I want this to be an erotica, it should have a point less on to end it, right??
·         Oh, well, guess I’ll be finishing this tomorrow.

Wed: Okay, now…let’s finish this shit.
1,670 words: FwmW (MW #2)
       [Chapter 10; ditto above]
Forever with my Werewolf
(Moonlit Wolves #2)
First draft October 2012 to 7th November 2012
19,808 Words / 10 chapters / 40 pages
Paranormal LGBTQ Erotica
Next step: a re-read, fix-up
Rough Blurb:
Life seemed perfect for Tim until he was lead into the woods by his long term boyfriend who started stripping off before changing into a werewolf!
Now, with the help of a panic attack and a kidnapping, Tim has to figure out if he can still love a man who howls when the moon is full.

·         I think it’s a little flat. Boring. But it’s not really that much I could do about it. These two characters don’t really have anything more into it.
I found that I didn’t get Colin right. That I went to much into Tim, and the fact that he’s freaking out. But why is Colin like that. Why is Colin so afraid of telling him this about himself, when they had been together for two years? For the fact that Colin knows this guy’s his mate.
And if I’m questioning this about my own character, what the fuck will you think? Because I know these answers. If I think about them. But I haven’t and more so I haven’t put him in it. Not really.
·       The worse is I can. I can get deep into this point because Tim’s been kidnapped, and he has a whole day to sit around doing nothing, because they can’t, not as humans, so why haven’t I gone into Colin, into his past, into his mind. Letting the word understand why this has happened. And I did briefly, but not really. And though the story is about Tim, the series starts off (and is) about the group of werewolves. So where’s that?
 (And yeah, I understand the fact that I’m not finished, just let me have my moment, it’s the only thing we get sometimes, before the real work sets in)

So I’m done. I’ve gone through all that I need to change in the story so that it makes sense. I’ll either go over it tomorrow, and change up what needs changing or I’ll wait for the time when I do my read-threw.
Now, if I haven’t been over this before, I’ll do it know, when I write a book, I generally have to give myself a couple of days before I can read it threw again. It’s a time where I need to clear my head, and yet still have what I need to know.
Next week will be the time, maybe the week after, that I’ll read it, when I need a break from the next one. When I have that low in the next book but with a need to do something.

I’m a little buzzed, to be honest; I did well, even if I thought I didn’t. A month, I don’t even think it was a complete month, and I finished. Pretty exciting. I’m on a bubble. Cloud nine. All those over the moon type phrases.

Thurs: I really love it when a book that I’m reading pushes me to want to write something of my own. It’s not that there bad (though those ones are great pushes) it’s when all I can think about it a book, characters, scenes that work for books I’m writing.
This book, The Elevator Mechanic is one of them, the only problem, it’s for book 5, so it’s no help. And yet, I’ll still jot it down, though I don’t really think it’s needed, not really, that character is one that’s fun to write—his story might not be the same. Guess will have to wait and see.

End note: I came out of my depression—two doses of Iron Tablets did the trick, yeah! I’m feeling good. Can you tell?!
Another thing, next ‘in motion’ will be starting up book 3; Seeking my Werewolf

Ending Paragraph
“Yeah, mum, won’t be a moment,” Tim called out.
As they rolled out of bed Tim asked, “How’d she know you were here?”
Forever with my Werewolf (MW#2), end lines

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