Saturday 5 January 2013

Memoirs of this Delusional Writer #13

Starting paragraph
Craig froze, everything in him just stopped.
“What the fuck,” came a voice Craig new was one of Marty’s men, Devon. Before the tell-tale sign of a rifle being pumped back.
Seeking his Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3) page 17
I am not back.
But here’s what I did on the first half of my brake….
Help Me Please
·         Well, I’m going into BDSM, and I kinda need your help. This is something I need, something I’m not into, and mostly I can’t read a heap of it. Because when they are done badly I feel awkward and uncomfortable. or pissed (but that’s too much about the feminist in me, I think)
o   Mostly, what would be of help was if you could recommend good books into a real working mind, or construct of a Dom. It would help if I could read it, in more than one way so I can grow on what my character should be like, with the knowledge of what I feel him to be. Yeah, he’s a Dom, but he’s also going to be a psychologist, so he has to do it right. His mind, I know where it’s at, but I need a base line of healthy and reasonable things that he would play with. I don’t know anything about BDSM and I need to learn.
Thoughts for Thoughts
December 2012
·         I fucked myself some more. Decided that my series: Forgotten Pain is going to be about two cops. A rooky and his partner. (since Rick is 30 in book 2)
Took out what I had already written. It wasn’t working, wasn’t what I have in my head. 854 words gone.
1,414 words in Seeking my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3)
          [Chapter 4 has 1,848w]
·         Mediation writing this one.  Went to my Granda’s funeral yesterday, can’t seem to get my head straight today. The only thing I wanted to do was write, this is the little I managed to get out.
I feel better though, which is what counts.
100 words in Christmas Short  
·         Change my Christmas story name: Santa’s Present
164 words in A Different Road 
·         This is a story that I came up with—no, it was inspired by a blog posting that I read, and I couldn’t get out of my head.
o   It’s going to be about a man of faith falling in love with a man. Interesting but I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to do this, being as I’m opposed to a lot of the deeper working of religion of reason you don’t wish for me to go on about, but you probably hate yourself if you’d let yourself think about them.
417 words in Taking Control of my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #4)
·         Stopped because I can’t remember my description of Chris!
1,120 words in Santa’s Present 
·         Need to make sure Matt doesn’t have a foreskin!
o   The things you have to deal with when writing about sex!!
·         Shit, I kinda rushed the end, so I’m not that satisfied with it. Shit. When I re-read it before it goes up Christmas Day, I’ll fix it up.
My kids are on school holidays. Yeah! 6 beautiful weeks of them all day every day from morning til dusk. I’m supper excite. Yep super excited!
Though when the New Year rolls round (more so end Jan, early Feb) both my precious children will be off to Primary school. Yeah.
Then all I have to do is find a new house for us to live in (I’m hoping this will actually happen before they start school, but we have until March to vacate).
What a fun first quarter I’m about to have!!!
Question: what’s it like to suck a guy with a foreskin, with a condom on?
o   My lack of experience in these points is actually a good thing; my defacto was the 3rd guy I slept with. And I’m still sleeping with him. He also lacks a foreskin. So…..I can’t even try.
o   So how would it work? Would you hold down the foreskin (assuming the guys foreskin doesn’t completely pull away from the head) holding it while you’re holding the condom?
o   That makes sense, doesn’t it?
§  The fucked up thing is that I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. And it doesn’t matter. Not really. Not when you just talk about it. But I’ve read a few books (not many mind you) and it got me wondering, because it’s a point in books that doesn’t come up. Not really, and it’s a BIG different, having a foreskin and not. Especially when you’re giving head. Even I know that.
o   It’s like the two fat people fucking thing all over again!!
1,246 words in Seeking my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3)
          [chap 5; 1,246w]
·         I’m not really good at this whole Alpha thing. More so I’m horrid, it seems, at the whole werewolf thing. So why am I writing this series???!
·         We got them together!!! Both. Though Phil is unconscious but they know each other’s names, and all that. And Craig is going to be going with him when the others come and pick him up. Still they are together!!! It only took 5,883 words.
589 words in Wish you a Wolfe Christmas (Moonlit Wolves #4.5)
·         Much easier to do when you have a full goal side and a story line to go with. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I have no idea how I wrote so much with book 1
o   I just can’t seem to write this book!
It’s kinda hard for me to think the above, because I know what’s coming up soon. I just don’t know who to get there, or more so, how to get there so he trips over the dead body to end the chapter?! (I won’t this one to have 4)
·         Okay so I cheeped out, but I’m actually going to write a bigger, and better version of this story, but I kinda have to wait until I get there, weather I’m going to go the way of Brad, or Eamon. I haven’t decided.
o   It’s complicated and it needs to be handled when I have more information under my belt. Though the end will still be the end, it will just have another person talking between Matt fucking Jex.
1,020 words in Seeking my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3)
·         Changed everything, decided that I will make the chapter 5 a little longer. This comes of what I just wrote. I feel it all fits better as one chapter rather than two patchy chapters. 189 words to add.
          [chap 5; 1,727w]
·         You know, it’s kinda cool, I’ve already written 10,000 words, and I’ve only just started the romance side of this tale. Yeah!!!
January 2013
Full read, and fix up of Forever with my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #2)
·         Got rid of 207 words, because they conflict with the main story line, and a huge point in the story later in the line. Though I hate to get rid of it, being as it was the way I was actually able to start the story. But it has to go.
—replaced it with 221 words
·         It’s actually kinda annoying having to read your own work. Especially when you haven’t had any input from someone else. Though maybe that’s not true. It’s hard because you understand when things aren’t right, when you don’t understand what you’ve written. Or when they don’t make all that much sense. More so when they conflict with something to come.
You don’t know how to change it so that it’s the same, the story is there, and yet that point isn’t.
Harder when you have to change big points about a character that wasn’t there when you first wrote it. That’s hard, because what the hell are you meant to do, delete it? But then it doesn’t make sense, and you’ve lost a whole part that you’re not sure what you’re meant to do with.
·         Was 19,808w now 19,839w—238w
Something else, which I shouldn’t be doing
·         Okay, so… I’m feeling a little excited and nervous and my heads already fucking with me, saying that I won’t be able to pull it off.
But fuckit! Still, I can’t, not really, so I’m going to put it out there, tell you what’s happening, what I’ve thought of, and where I want it to go, and if you want it more than the one it will be replacing.
o   Book 1: is the one that I have put up on my resolution list. It’s an inspired by Billy Goats Gruff dystopian. Which I really like the idea off, but I know it will be a heavy book to write, with both research, world building and character development. Because they all have to be write, just so, and the world….magnificent while still holding something original.
o   It’s going to be hard, that’s what I know, that’s probably why I’m happy to replace it
o   Book 2: this is the new one. This will be a series, and… I think you’d call it a ‘New Adult’ right? Though it’s going to be short books. They are going to be romances without the heavy erotica feel to them, about a boy band and the people they fall in love with.
o   I’m making it a ‘new adults’ because they will all be in the twenties—and I mean just hitting them. So it’s more the age group this point is. Also it’s about a bunch of people going nuts over a boy band.
o   Cool huh, and if you think about it, which is something I have done, it works because it’s happening now, so we have at least the next 2 to 5 years before they are whipped out again.
The biggest thing, and may be a problem is that I won’t be able to make this a heterosexual story. I won’t be able to have them all fall in love with females, I can try but even as the characters weaselled into my head, only two of them (if I have a 5 band group—at the moment, they are sitting at 4) will dig girls. 1 bisexual and 1 gay. They…here, click on this and I’ll put you into the group. Tell us if you’re interested?
Tell us if you’d read it? If you want it?
I’m thinking that, maybe I’ll write a quick, shorter version of their stories, if you are undecided, and if you like, I’ll write the full series. Though they won’t be any longer than my moonlit series.
970 words in This Boy Band—a quick introduction
There is defiantly will only be four, since I couldn’t seem to write in a fifth one. And only one of them is getting with a chick.
Ending Paragraph
“That was a lot of words,” Phil said with a smile. “You don’t strike me as a talker.”
     He shrugged, “I’m not if I don’t need to, but….”
“Good to know,” he said again.
Seeking his Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3) page 23

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