Saturday 23 February 2013

Memoirs of this Delusional Writer #17

Starting paragraph
“Morning,” Eamon said as the other one came up onto the deck. The heavy sound of the man’s boots told him the second he was about to make it to the top.
TComW (moonlit wolves #4) page 11

What I’ve done
·         Taking Control of my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #4)
·         Want: continue—already done 4,877w
·         wrote: 9,074
·         (Fortnight Quota = 10,150 words)
·         Didn’t come close! All up: 9,534

The Excuses
·         I think I figured out why I had a crap last week (though I didn’t, I just didn’t top my numbers that I should of). It’s ‘cause I finished a book, though it was only a blog story, it was one that was heavy on my mind, and like always when I finish one, my brain turns off for a little while. Its shit, and I hate it, but I can’t seem to get that part of me to wake up and realise I still have a shit load to do. It needs a reward and I didn’t give it one, so it told me to fuck myself and took some time off.

Plugging (a little)
         I little reminder, or just a ‘did you know’ that Mercy Celeste on Beg for Mercy is doing a weekly Romance 101.
It runs on… I want to say Monday ‘cause that’s when I read it. But no, she’s American (just looked it up for ya), it be posted Sunday!!!
Anyway, the first week was: The Rules-GMC
2nd week: The Rules-POV
Last week: Beginnings

·        Start looking up these:
o   Extraversion and introversion
o   Big Five Personality Traits
o   Personality psychology

Thoughts for Thoughts
This one has a lot of whining and a little blurb from a book to come….

Let’s Celebrate Valentine’s
Really people, this week it’s all about love, right? So let’s do that. Let’s talk, see and feel and understand love.
Which is kinda easy since I right romance. But I’m not good at it.

So why do we love who we love?

I haven’t figured that one out either. Though I should because I am in love, I’ve been that way since I was 19, but fuck knows what it means, what it’s like. really, you only really understand the meaning of it, or so it seems to me, is when it’s all taken away from you.

1,558w TComW (MW #4)
Gotta love a need for shitter paper! Really, it’s the only way, or more so, just how it happened, to get them to know each other’s name, and start that instant love connection shit.
[Chap 4: 1,355w]

It’s like being in a dream….
…one that isn’t quite controlled by you, but can be, if you can’t let yourself relax enough into the person your meant to be. I’ve had years of practice, mostly because I’m a bit of a head case, and have always had this people yapping in my ears.
The sad part is waking up. You blink, your time has ended, there isn’t anything else you can write, and you look around in disappointment that you’re here. Sitting at your desk, living a life led through your own work.

668w TComW (MW #4)
I don’t think I like the chapter I wrote. It fits and yet it doesn’t. More so, it’s not really that important, just a conversation between the guys that live in the house. So…., yeah I might leave it, but I also might put a chapter in front of it, or change it up completely.

Talking: Taking Control of my Werewolf
You know what really sucks? I think I got my characters mixed up.
No, wait, that’s not true, they are what they are, the characters are who they are, some are way more defined then others, but they are who they are, set, been in the fridge there recommended time and are now waiting to be eaten.
But as I think about what I’m meant to do with book 4 (as it seems a re-write of the entire thing is coming close) I feel that the characters—and my writing—is suited.
I can’t seem to get them on paper how they are in my head. I can’t seem to think of anything of this story line that’s important or interesting—really, I’ve just wrote a whole chapter that is basically useless, because I have put a reason for it being there, not really, it’s all back story and nothing else. It needs something else. But I can’t seem to come up with that something.
Sometimes I feel it would be easier if I gave Eamon to Adam, ‘cause he’s more…emotionally stable, and yet able to pull off something quick and sweet to make someone like Eamon become his man. Whereas Chris…isn’t. And because Eamon is at the loss of his long-time lover to…cancer? It just seems that they, they…
Wait…I think….
Hey guys thanks. I needed that. I haven’t figured it all out yet but I think I know what to do with those two to get it to where it kinda needs to be to have that emotional outburst, maybe…..
(This means that the last chapter is out, I’m not sure if it will ever come back in, though it will come back with more. But right now, there has to be a whole lot more between the last scene and that one).
111w fixing up the Chapter 4
Chapter 5; 1,768 w
Have I told you how sorry I am for these books, especially for anyone that’s truly in the scene. I don’t mean to come across flippant, or even uncaring. But I could, I’m not sure. I also hope I’ve done a reasonably good job conveying both characters, but I understand if I haven’t.
So sorry, please forgive and I hope it’s not bad enough for you to stop reading me.
1,128w to start chap 6
=3,007 words in total today!!!

Hallmark didn’t create Valentine’s Day, they just dirtied it up.

TComW (moonlit Wolves #4)
I think I went into too much detail into this, especially since I don’t really know a whole lot of them. Shit. I really hope this works.
Thank fuck it’s only the first draft, right?
·         Man I think I’ve been watching too much porn and not nearly reading enough erotica. What am I turning into? A guy?!
·         Back tracking is the worse. Especially when you get to a point in the story that you realise would work so much better if you have a certain part that would work so much better with/without it. (never mind, my point is still right, but what I wrote can be interpreted the way I need it to end)
[Chap 6; 2,248w]  and I’ve not even finished the sex scene yet.
1,310 words total today, not great for the whole catching up. But on record for a day to day.

Which ends our lovely weekend of love! Hope yours went well,
Hope you had fun and celebrated in a way that made you feel…
Something; love, lust, independence

Second Week
555 w in TComW (mw #4)

(Just the headline of this news story is hilarious)

Hmmm…. It seems I’m missing my mojo (maybe not for a light hearted male to read)
And how fucked up is that?! I’m a chick, really, and I have sex running through my mind like nothing—
Shit, I just remembered the last time I had such a lake of sex drive. It was the last time I was pregnant, and it’s possible, I have had sex, I have a ‘t’ thing in my uterus and it’s not got the highest (or more so, you only ever hear the bad ones, so what do I know, I’ve had it in a month or two off 5 years and I haven’t had my period for the last 41/5! which is fucking awesome.) ….so it’s actually getting close to possible.
Oh…while writing this, maybe I’m having my period now, my face has turned into a pimpled mess (yeah, it’s over exaggeration, but fuck it, to me…) but that’s also something, isn’t it? I many not bleed (think fuck) but the hormones still pump threw me, eggs still drop. And I still get (especially recently) the massive period pain that comes from my period (serious ladies, I cripple up. My left leg goes numb and aches.
I like that point better, and since I haven’t started spewing cause of a smell, I’ll keep it, ‘cause I really don’t want another kid, even though I don’t mind being pregnant. Just the babies that come from it aren’t close to being my specialty (though I love my kids).
See, and here, needing to spill, done that twice in 7 days, that’s very much a period thing for me. Along with not caring about others. It’s like the only time I’d rather not be seen. Very much period things.
And really, it’s only in the middle two months you don’t want to fuck like rabbits. Yeah, the first three, you’re normally spewing, but the sex drive is as good as it always is. The last three—specially that last month when no man wants near you, you want nothing more than to fuck, and I mean anywhere, it’s one of the best time for adventures sex, ‘cause your horny as hell, really. And good sex too, not that soft vanilla the man wants to have when you’re riding them—that can hurt a little, but you want on bottom as they fuck the hell outta you. They won’t, ‘cause really. There kids in there with you!
Okay, and on that note of TMI, I’ll go, wishing you a good night.

Wow, I have a set of characters that are all worked out in my head, a shit load more than I thought I had them. Huh. Cool.
BOYBAND series, which I was thinking about writing…..
Book one: Mellow Out
This is actually going to be a threesome book, should that happen for the first book? Probably get it out of the way, since every other ones from that point on is m/m. let’s not get peoples hopes up and then throw in a woman.
I’ve decided to make it ‘New Adult’ but there will be a high level of sex—there will be sex, just all these boys are just over 19, which is the age group, though I know it will eventually be classified as adult (manly cause of the gay sex)
So first up is Lance, the mouth of the group. He’s 5’11” cocky to a near arrogant proportion, with dark short spiked Mohawk. He’s solid built with a soft roughness that gives him a badboy edge.
The woman Courtney….hey, let’s do this instead. I actually have the blurb for the story, here:
It only takes on moment for your life to turn 360, and for Lance Duncan that moment they sang for a Christmas concert that ended up going viral on YouTube and won there fan base that made them stars.  They had gone worldwide, and with that the fans came outta the woodwork. Crazy and all.
It f**kin’ rocked (stars intended!)

Courtney ‘Sunny’ Michaels is head over heels in love with Analloyd, more so Sydney, the rocking smoky voiced 6 foot brown eyes dream boat, but no matter how many times she got close the man she’d never been able to get his attention. Not until Rolland came along. Not only was he as madly in love with them as she was, but he had access to areas she’d never dream of stepping.

Rolland Marks was one of the many faceless rodies that worked for Analloyd. The group of boys were fun, talented and one of the easiest jobs’ Roll had ever had the pleasure of working. If only he could get his mind off Lance, the cocky header of the group who also happened to be too straight for his own good.

When all three get together they have a night that was unforgettable, but even in a band can Lance threw image to the wind and find out if round two is just as good, and, hell, maybe even worth the risk of the scandals that would come outta it.
Oh, and I called them Analloyd, it just sorta slipped out. But if ya have a better name, I’m all ears, really, help me!!!
So what’cha ya think? Would you be interested in reading it? Should it be my next project? Or do you need some more info??
460 words in Mellow Out (Analloyd #1)blurb and start of chap 1

TComW (mw#4)
Again I’ve seemed to hit a point that I’m not liking so much. It’s more because I don’t think I gave enough to the first time –really, it should have been a little more aggressive ending that results in Eamon passing out and then Chris falls asleep—just not quite passing out!
That’s the way it should be. This stuff, this emotional stuff I reckon should come when the relationship comes up. It just doesn’t seem….Chris, if you get me. okay, the end to it all isn’t actually as bad as I thought, but the conversation something I have to get rid of.
Trashed 409 words

I’m not happy with myself.
Or really this fucking book. And yeah I know it’s the same shit I vomit up, but there’s something different (just ignore all previous or to come lines of these, they are all different) because I don’t feel like I have the characters at all. I feel that I’ve fucked up majorly and that I’m not giving you the actually story.
More so, I feel that I can’t write a paranormal series to save my life.
Though the next book (okay 2) is going to have more of a mystery edge to it, they are going to be able werewolves, and the whole point of Eamon, of who he is of what he will become will come out in the next couple of books, ‘cause it’s you learning when they learn and I think I have a good sport for a community but it hasn’t been put together yet so I can’t really talk about it.
But this book? This fucking book! That none of the characters seem to be where I want them to be. Seem to have what I want them to have. And I don’t know how to change that. Or do I just let myself go and with the knowledge that I’ll most likely been re-writing this whole fucking book?
I think I’m defiantly going to have to write something different when I finish this book. Something completely different.
·         Man I really go suck at commanding.
Really I just think I suck at this—which is really back, ‘cause I’m at least doing this once more (and I suspect a few more) threw out the series. Though book 8 defiantly.
·         What do you do when you don’t know the name of something but you have it, right there, on the tip of your fucking tongue?!
1,067 words today!
—leaving yet again in the middle of a sex scene, there second one in the middle of this book. Huh, I’m also nearly halfway through.

I watch NCIS so does that mean I can write about the Navy??
Criminal Minds, so I can hunt down a serial killer, right?!

TComW (mw#4)
·         I figured it out!!! yay! yay!, when it came to me, I could have kissed my own brain I’m that great—though I know I’m not, but still, I got it!!
How to make it a one night stand. How to get them seeing werewolves. How to interlock and make it seen that they are each other’s mates. And a month long getting to know you stint.
*sigh* it does mean that I fucked up a little—though is it really fucking up when you didn’t know what was coming?—and now I’m going to have to backtrack even more and fixe this little fuck up.  At least this one isn’t all that big, just a weekend trip for next week turns into a night ‘cause of what’s coming through the week!
[Chap 6; 1,833]
—nothing but sex, again… but this means the weekends done. At least it’s all I’m writing of it
Final tally for the day: 500w

I have another story idea.
But at least this one can defiantly be called a short story. can defiantly be something to just post.
If you don’t know, and I’m sure you don’t, really I haven’t really mentioned it all that much which means you probably don’t know, right? But I’ve been watching too much porn—which isn’t completely true. ‘Cause I don’t really watch the whole 20 mins of the thing.
Really people, 20 mins when 15 of its giving head. I’m not that oral in myself, so the pointers? The…it just doesn’t do anything for me. And I don’t have a dick so I can’t imagine the that happening to me…
Anyway, there’s also the point that I was…actually I can’t remember what the fuck I was thinking of, but the idea popped into my head, and I haven’t been able to shake it.
Porn, what a great idea and more so for the fact that a lot of those boys are actually straight. How good would a ‘gay for you’ story came out of it. (yeah, it’s been done, I’m not saying I’m the most original person out there, I’m not wanting to write a great novel or anything, just entertain)
At first I was thinking it would be great if it was just a bromance, and that’s how I will write it out. these two guys, an old time straight (you know, 24), and some rooky gay man (18 or 19)—hell they could both be fucking straight, like that shit really matters, and I’m not completely in it to figure it out yet.
Hell, if I think about it, I can write the turning point of it all. That point where the straight guy realises that he’s actually in love. That this isn’t just a job to him, that the reason they keep putting them together on set is because there’s actual chemistry, fuck, love, and it’s seen and it’s made it something more…. You know, just that something more that makes them more popular together because it’s there, that intimacy that’s needed to make sex fucking hot.
Anyway, it’s a thought—hell, I can put that scene I wrote in a ‘AC’ for this one. Easily.
But would you be interested in reading it??

Thanks for the time

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