Saturday, 6 April 2013

Memoirs of this Delusional Writer #19

Starting paragraph
“Forget everything I ever told you… ever showed you. Ever heard, felt. Hell, just forget me all together.” “Huh?” “I’ve been told I’m no good for you. That you’d be better off licking pussy then sucking cock.” Kale shuttered. “What, and run the risk of catching baby?!”
WIP, ‘new adult’


What I’ve done
So, we are in the making of a month and even still, I haven’t done anything worth anything. It sucks, but I just moved house, after three months of drowning in depression. It finally became too much. It finally forced me to do something on it. And even though I would love to spend day after day writing books. Well, I have unpacking to do. Organising, and buying shit to make this house our home.
Saying this, I haven’t done anything, since, well, I’m not making month from it, and all that, so it’s not that important for me to actually write it. And yeah, I said that I was going to put on in, but as I was looking up one publisher I couldn’t figure out what it was I was meant to put it all and make right for them. And then there’s the cover page—fucking thing, I’m not sure what I’m meant to write there. And then the depression was hitting hard, and I struggled to just do the shit I was meant to. That with the fact that the depression was making me doubt everything….
Well, you get me, right.
So, I’m going to start this out, with a look into the future and what it is that I still need to do along with what’s been happening and what needs fixing.
So…. Yeah, this is kinda more for me, but it’s something….
·       TAKING CONTROL OF MY WEREWOLF (Moonlit Wolves #4)
o   This one is more a need to finish. But I have so many problems with it that it’s like I need to start from the beginning. Though lately I’ve discovered that it’s not really the people that are wrong, or them as partners but me wanting something out of them that they will never get.
o   I wanted it hard-core, ‘cause that’s what Chris is. That’s what he’s been threw in the past. And Eamon is a captive Dom.
o   So a pain sub and a ….what would you call a dom that puts his sub in cages? Anyway, that’s what he was, but it was more that he likes the pain side but his lover needed the other type so he became that.
o   But what would happen when they come together. You see, how I saw it, Eamon would be drown fully into the pain part that it would become the relationship, ‘cause finally he’s able. But that’s not what would happen, is it? ‘cause he’s whole life, he’s whole growth into this world had been about controlling without saying a word.
o   Now I’m not saying there isn’t any heavy handed, and belt work, but I think, and I have been thinking, that more so, there would be a gentleness that Chris isn’t use to, but will get off on something chronic. Because Chris isn’t in charge of this, no, Eamon is, and things about him….well, no matter what life throws at you, you can change, but not that much.
o   So, I don’t really need to change how my story is going, just let go of this part of me that thinks there needs more between them.
Also, one of the things about me is that I don’t actually see my characters—not in these books, not in series form (it seems) in their own head. I see them as the group sees them. Which makes how I see them different and harder when I’m in there head, ‘cause I’m writing them with this part of them missing. This tenderness that they have for their mate.
o   This is also going to be the last book from this series that I focus on. until I get published (or need so badly to write in this series—mostly ‘cause I’ve created it, and have so many to come, ‘cause these books are designed for me to learn writing, and the different partners and all that shit.) and you people like it enough for me to put in all that time (so you just have to like it a little) but 4 are good enough to get things started. Though book 5 is where the whole shit really gets going. That’s when the werewolves and humans start creating the pack and learning the history.

This is a between a couple, but they are all coming up next
·       Walking a Different Line
o   This is a Contemporary Romance about a cross dresser and a biker.
o   It’s actually really simple but I really like it, well, what’s in my head, is kinda cool, and it’s a little bit challenging for me, and yet not. Really, who doesn’t have a mask they hide behind? Only this one hides dressed up, so he’s not more feminine than any other gay man, more needs that to shed his shyness.
·       Getting a Grip
o   This one is about coming out in your later years. Again, simple.
·       Love without Knowing It
o   This one is new, simple, and I’m still working out some of the kinks. But it’s basically about a hot man who hates himself, and ends up falling in love.

If I feel I’m up for tackling Crime—but I doubt it, I think I need to have a run for it first in Moonlit Wolves #5 but I might switch it a little.
·       A Bloody Path & Remembered Pain (Forgotten Pain #1&2)
o   This series is about two guys falling in love, only it’s a ‘gay for you’ love, for at least one of them. But I haven’t gotten that great into the people’s lives, only there past, and book one is Adam’s past, which is his father’s death. And book two is Patrick’s who …yeah, I might leave that to when I get to it, ‘cause…yeah. It will defiantly come with warnings.
o   This books I actually want to be full length, though they won’t be ‘great novel’ length. My biggest problems with this novels are the facts that I’m writing in Australia, and my books will come out of them (like I’ve said before) but I don’t watch Aussie crime, not really, not enough to make me comfortable writing a crime novel, even a romantic one.

Then the ones that are coming up next…. more New Adult’s then anything
·       [name pending]
o   Contemporary Romance—Coming Out-esk
o   This one is about a group of teens when two of them hook up. It’s got a hated parent in it. Struggles. More a coming out thing than anything else. And more so, a coming out for those that do it round my age. Or back when I was a teen, along with where I live.
o   I really like this one. I actually really like the idea of this one and it will probably be the next one I write.
·       Analloyd series
o   This is a Contemporary Boy Band Romance
§  Mellow Out: staring Lance Duncan (the walking talking wet dream singer of the group), Courtney, the crazy groupie & Rolland a rodie for the band.
§  ???: staring Sydney Whiting (the smoking bad boy) and Dillon Quinton
§  ???: staring Cody Harrison
§  ???: Forest Lemming
o   Well, this is the whole craze of boy bands, I wanted to do a band one, ‘cause I love them myself, but I thought this would be great, and it would work better in the whole ‘New Adults’ line of things, though I’m not sure if either of these books/series will be able to hold themselves up in them, but be pushed to adults, which will kinda sucks as they are about ‘kids’.

What I’ve been meaning to finish for a year now
·       [name pending]
o   Fable inspired het fantasy YA
o   This one is… well, you’ve heard enough about it to guess. This one needs to be done, and as it is, I have tried to pick it up three times now, and every time I end up looking at the first few pages and…get lost.
o   I just don’t know what I’m meant to do with it. I’m not sure what it needs. Well, that’s a lie, it needs a read through by someone else and I haven’t got anyone to do that. Also I don’t really want to put it out there without having finished it. And I haven’t yet. (‘Cause I have a cousin that might.—I really need to get into a reading group or something. Right?)
o   So I’ve decided that I’m just going to leave it the way it is, rather than re-writing it, since it’s a lot of words, and just finish it off, then I can hand it over to someone and if it’s a piece of shit I’ll let it go, if it’s a good idea and all that then I will do what’s needed with it.
Then my blog stories
·       Bring that for You
o   Contemporary Romance
o   I need to write book 2, Christmas in July, it’s about a rut in the relationship and possibilities of cheating…. (7 years from the last one)
o   Halloween, which is about the death of his partner (10 years later)
o   ??? Christmas, New Years is a maybe in my own head. I’m just not sure.
·       Falling in Love
o   Contemporary Romance. This one is about porn stars falling in love.

What I’ve written over this time (yeah, but really, the last week)
·         195 words in Love without Knowing It, which was mainly just starting it, and me working out a little of the voice
·         604 words in Taking Control of my Werewolf.
Yeah, and you’ll see on Monday (hopefully) why I haven’t done anything else this weekend. I’m…yeah!!!
I think that’s it…
Thanks for the time
Me

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