This post was meant to be about one point in my story, where the editor got back to me and it wasn’t making any sense. But since then I have spoken to her and have realised what she was saying.
In the end the thing she wanted me to change I’m not doing. But I understand, even if it didn’t make sense to the book, why she wanted me to change it that way.
She wants me to point in another point that I’m weary about, but will look into it with a seriousness that the part would never have had if she’d had meant for me to change that part.
But mostly I’m just at the point that I will throw the book across the road if I have to read it one more time. So, were getting to the end of editing, lol.
Anyway, as a treat, and so I’m not wasting your time, I thought I’d give you another excerpt of my book (this is also the point in question).
Note: this scene is still undergoing editing, and may or may not change in final copy.
My Kevin (2)
A kiss is only a kiss when there’s tongue.
Jimmy had learnt this through the girls at school. They had asked him if he’d ever been kissed, and Jimmy had nodded and a blush had painted his cheeks. He knew it; he felt the heat lap at his cheeks, almost hot enough to get him sweating.
It wasn’t like Kevin had been as affectionate with him as he had been before that talk in primary school, but they still kissed, it had shed a light to all the kids around them that things weren’t what they thought they should have been. But what did it matter?
That was the question at the time. It was also the question for years to come, and probably will always be, even though things have changed in the world.
But Kevin had stopped openly kissing him. He’d stopped holding his hand whenever they walked to class, or gone to the bathroom together. It didn’t mean that there wasn’t any touching at all, but previously Jimmy had never truly been aware of it. He knew that Kevin couldn’t keep his hands to himself where Jimmy was concerned, but in the public eye they had pulled everything back.
Still, if Jimmy had been upset, Kevin would forget everything around him, and Jimmy would become his whole world.
Jimmy had liked those times the best, because while he didn’t do the easy touch in public, Jimmy was lavished with that attention when they were alone, or with their friends—the ones from primary school. The ones that just didn’t care even in high school.
“No he hasn’t been kissed!” Beth had walked back from wherever she’d been at the time and settled down on the grass next to him, with all the other girls. At this precise moment Jimmy wasn’t really sure why, he enjoyed hanging with this girl. They were much more open to talking about stuff Jimmy would rather leave alone. But he liked girl talk. He liked the openness about life and bodies. He just liked being around them. He wasn’t sure why, he truly didn’t, not in the bigger picture, but maybe that’s ‘cause he didn’t take the time to think about it.
It’s not really the point here. It’s just one of the great things about memories, the snowballing effect, that has one memory falling on top of the other until you’re drowned in your past.
The girls had set upon on him at that point. What did Beth mean, that he’d not been kissed, when Jimmy said he had?
It apparently meant that he’d never mixed tongue with lips and breath, and because of that every brush he’d shared with Kevin had been nothing more than baby affection.
That had been it for one of the girls. She’s gotten up on her knees, leant forward—or more so crawled forward, and planted her lips against his.
It had been one of the most bold things that she had ever done in all the time they had been friends. She wasn’t one for shows, but she had gotten up, and kissed him.
It had been easy for her to put in the tongue at that point. He’d been open mouthed, gasping at what she had done so he’d not been unable to protect himself. Though he was unsure, there was something in him that had wanted this as much as he hadn’t.
Strange right to the end. It had been weird having this tongue in his mouth. Something hot and soft and different from anything else he’d ever experienced before. It had been an eye opener, if he didn’t remember anything else. He’d liked the sweet taste that had coated her spit. A lolly that she’d been chewing on throughout lunch—that she always seemed to be chewing on.
It had been entertaining to say the least, with the world all cracking up with laughter, and comments. He remembered that as much as the lips and tongue, and the slight scrap of teeth as she moved closer into him.
He couldn’t clearly tell you what it had felt like, at the time, however since it didn’t take long for the feeling to change into something he could get used to very easily. Something natural he wouldn’t even have to think about, making him forget himself. That’s what that first kiss had truly been like.
He knew though, that something was missing, that this wasn’t something he really wanted. He wanted it, the kiss, but not the way he should have. Not the way everyone else wanted. It had made him panic, if only for a moment, that there had to be something wrong with him, since he didn’t particularly ever want to experience that again.
When she moved back, her flushed face looking down on him like she was expecting something, he’d understood what it was that was missing. Kevin. Jimmy wanted more than anything for the face, just centimetres from his face to be Kevin’s. Like it had always been.
But then that had been the norm, that was the only reason for that, wasn’t it?
Jimmy’s mind had spun. He’d licked as his lips, lapping away the overload of moisture on his lips. Apparently that had been a good sign. For the girl had backed away, a little smile on her lips, as she sat back down in her usual spot and sort of disappeared into the crowd of people around him.
The girls had clucked away at him, around him, because of him, Jimmy wasn’t sure. All he knew was that something profound in him had changed at that moment and Jimmy wasn’t really sure if he wanted that. But he knew, with everything in his soul, that there was no way of going back to what he’d known previously.