The Struggle

It’s time when I’ve gotta start thinking about my next project.

 

I really want to write my teacher abuse story: Falling in Love with this Forever

You see, I really want to write this book. I love the idea. I love the characters. And I absolutely want to see how the two boys figure everything out.

Hell, I want to meet the brother, and parents, and the crazy teacher.

 

I know what’s happening in this book, it’s at the point that all I can do is sit back and write it and see what else they have in store of me. But I’m struggling to want to start it.

 

Why?

 

Yeah, that’s stumping me as well.

 

Is it the length? This is actually going to be my longest mm story to date.

The thing is before I published my first—like, when I first started this whole author deal I wrote 6 books. (All below are heterosexual)

·         The first one was 80k, it was YA paranormal, and I had to make it run over 3 months.

·         The second was from the same series (the series was going to hold 10 books) which was a little over 80k

·         The next one was shorter, though it still held 50k it was YA about depression.

·         The next a killers hunting killers story was also 50k

·         And lastly, the one that I haven’t quite finished is just over 60k and it’s not done yet

·         And the last book, I think hit nearly 80k, it was paranormal adult, and I absolutely love the series and hope to someday go back to write them all out.

 

So why is it that I can’t write those big type of projects now?

 

There’s a thought in my head that it’s because I’m writing about such sort time spans, that it’s not that I can’t do it, but that the period in the lives I’m focusing on just wouldn’t fill up that many pages. Or if it did, well, it would be cluttered with bathroom breaks and meaningless conversation with the corner store owner.

 

Or is it smaller than that. This book related.

I want this story to go over 5 years. I would really like to have a chapter or 2—3, whatever be a focus point of each year of his sons life and the struggles that he faces and the realisations and the things that are hidden to him because of the manipulating and moulding he’d been through with the teacher.

 

But do I like that idea? Is it what I truly want out of the book?

 

Yeah, see, I do, because it’s the thoughts that I have had. It’s the ideas. And it would show so much more in his life and how the struggles and confusions and the anger and betrayal at those who love you more than anything.

But for the story itself. For the things that I want. The love. The romance, do I truly need all those years. All those points.

 

I think, though, it’s more than that. It’s more than what I’m putting there. Of this struggle, I have with wondering what I need to and what I don’t. I’m in no rush to write the book. And I’m at this point where I’ll write it all anyway, even if I don’t even up putting it in the story, they might be nice little free reads heading towards the release.

It’s not like it will go to waste. It’s not like it won’t be needed. and at the end of the day it will probably help create these characters into someone better than what I’ve ever done before, because all these struggles, and part of there—or his—life will be on paper.

 

Huh, maybe I just worked it out for myself.

Thanks for listening, it was helpful.

 

I just really like this idea. And I think it would do great if it’s pulled off, but I’m not sure I’m good enough to do it.