Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Waiting for Someone to Hate It

Here’s the thing. It’s something I think you know going to happen to yourself. You know, deep down in that place that you push all the unpleasant stuff you just don’t want to have to ever think about.
But you do, because you can’t help it. Your obsessions. Your need for things to be just right. Hidden in that place that you can’t see because if you see it than you’ll try and make yourself stop, and what fun would that be.
Okay, so I may have been speaking about myself. But then I can’t honestly be the only other person on this world that is like that. I’ve seen the blogs; book readers are particular in a lot of ways.
I’m the same. My books, the covers all have to match and if they don’t, and I don’t care for the series all that much, then, it’s unlikely I’ll by the book.
Anyway, enough about me. Oh, wait, that’s what we’re all here for
So…. If you haven’t been clued into this already, I self-published a book on smashwords (page link here) and I can’t stop waiting for someone to hate it.
I’m not sure why. Maybe the horror stories of authors I follow. Though they haven’t been that bad. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t honestly believe that I’ve written something that people actually like.
So, ever since I uploaded the book onto Smashwords I have been going to the fucking site every day to see how it’s going. Okay, for the first three days, the next too, I’ve been able to refrain because I have simply been way to busy—away from the computer busy, and it’s just not crossed my mind.
But here’s the thing, and it’s something that I know I you probably don’t really care, it’s just…you know, New Author shit, right.
I honestly can’t believe that I’m that good.
I can’t believe that I have had that many people download this book. and I know it’s mostly because it’s free, and I, like everyone else, will download something free if it’s in the genre—hell, what I’ve heard that don’t matter ever—just because it’s free.
But, like, I have four reviews. And it’s only been 7 days.
Really, and none of them have come from my family, they would only have just had an email sent to them with all the deets today if my mum actually remembered to do it.
So, this is coming from people I don’t even know.
All right, firstly, let’s start with the numbers on Smashwords.
As of the 7th of January 2014 at 9:39, 168 people have downloaded My Kevin. The In User Libraries is 19 (but I’m not sure what that means)
It’s still has a problem that I have no idea how to fix, and I haven’t been able to put in the time to try and get it up on other sites.
Mostly aRe because I won’t be bothering with Amazon, mostly because Australia doesn’t get it and so, well, why bother.
And like I’ve said I have had reviews.
And the Smashwords one here, this one is a little different because I’m pretty sure this can be seen as a ‘paid’ review because I apparently requested it, though I’m not sure when I did that (I’m sure I did but)
What the goodreads one have in common is, well, the 3* rating, but also that they would want to try something else I have written. And as that was the point in all this, it’s a good thing right? it’s just, well, I guess I’m pleased as bunch along with scared out of my mind that what I give next is going to suck balls.
Man, I really need this book published so I can stop worrying about it. So I can see, or not see. So… so its done.
And I really have to stop looking at my reviews, and/or waiting for someone to say something shit about me. Because I’m not shit. I can do this. I have been telling stories all my life, and I just wouldn’t have been contracted if I was shit as.
Well, thanks for bearing with my crazy.

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