Too much running not enough writing
That seems to be how my days have turned out over
the last two weeks.
I’ve gone into total meltdown, calling myself names
that I didn’t need to hear. Letting it all get to me without a reason, and bam,
clarification. There isn’t a reason…
I’m not wonder-woman, I never have been, and quite honestly,
I never want to be.
I’ve had big, loud, over the top, opinions I don’t need
to even bother with. I didn’t even need to read, or to have a say. Why should
it even matter to me? But it some of the comments that have come off the topic
have hit nerves with me I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Stop
ranting at inside my own head.
I’ve had a personal matter thrown in my face. I don’t
like being called a lie when I haven’t been lying. Okay, I don’t like being
called one when I have been, but when I haven’t…
I don’t like having to have a person bitch at me
over the phone because they have decided things I never gave them licence to
do.
I hate being blamed for things that aren’t my fault
and then told I have this many days to clean it up.
I hate that things keep piling on top of me and I can’t
seem to climb out.
But on an upside, because the down one to this will
clear itself out, it always does. I got a slow cooker for my birthday and so I’m
looking forward to all the fun I can have with that.
And on the writing note, well, I still have bits
coming in from Moonlit Wolves 7, which will
always happen, I’m like a quarter into that book, and I want to write it, I
just don’t want to be under so much pressure as I do it.
And I know it’s all my own, but pressure from me is
worse than from another. I just hope now that I’ve let myself write it as it
comes (which is unfortunately the way my head works best) I will have an even
better book, because I won’t be rushing to get it out. No, I’ll be able to take
my time, make sure it sits in the level of the last book, and that both the
characters are who they are, and how I want them to be seen.
My horror short story is
also in the works, I’m either getting lines from book
7 or this one, and I’m so excited and scared as all hell to write it.
It’s not a pun, if that was a pun, more that I’m not
sure if I’ll actually be able to pull it off, and have it what I want it to be,
because…
Well, it’s horror,
and on a lot of levels I know I can do that, but I also have a mean arse twist
at the end that will have you looking back at the book in a different light. If
done how I want it down it will be fucking awesome, and I think, maybe, more so
because I’m keeping it quite short, simple.
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