Saturday, 24 November 2012

Memoirs of this Delusional Writer #11

Starting paragraph
Phil passed. He couldn’t help it. His skin tinged and his neck pricked. The moon above him haunted him with its need to have him shift into a werewolf, […]
Seeking my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3) page 8

What I’ve done
 (Here’s what’s on the table for the fortnight)

The book

What I’m hoping

Word count of the week

Seeking my Werewolf

Start –continue on….

? / ? wc

Forever with my Werewolf

Re-read, fix-up

/ 19,808 wc

What was throw in

Word count

Taking Control of my werewolf (MW#4)


Moonlit Wolves 4.5


The Excuses
·         I’ve made the lamer ones this fortnight: the weather, to tied, to bored.
·         Family obligations
·         Making inside cubby for the lids.
·         Got sick. Head cold too. Crap-tastic, with a pile of tissues.  (got this Wed, woke at 5:30am, on the second week.)

[research] what I learnt
·         on the first Tues (?) on this fortnight I read a posting of MercyCeleste on her troubles with Silver Publishing  and the fact that they are broke from…well, it’s what she say, read her post to find out more. It’s interesting and something I had had been curious about, since she had been quietly suffering from this fallout.
o   I’m putting this here, because it’s my looking for a publishing house for my Moonlit Wolves series, and I’m sharing all this with you. So, Silver Publishing is off my list.
o   And with good timing, I guess, because I was seriously considering it as one of them but know, because I’ve learnt the reason behind it, even if it’s not true what she says makes sense, and more so, with all rumours it’s something I would rather put as points then have it be true and I loss out from it.

Thoughts for Thoughts
Let’s set this up…
Seeking my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #3)
“Ain’t it a bitch when you find your mate and he’s the one fucking shooting at you?”

This is Phil (the werewolf) & Craig (the hunter)’s story. They meet when the group of hunters kidnapped Tim (#2) and took him to a place where they waited for Colin to show up.
Problem was, he wasn’t alone and everything they knew about werewolves went out the door. Four died at their hands, one later that night, the rest (4) got away (this was because they weren’t at the clearing).
Craig had been waiting at the house that blow up. He got one werewolf with the business end of his gun between its eyes.
The beast lay there doing nothing, with something soft and sad in its eyes, and Craig hadn’t been able to kill it.  Now he can’t get it out of his head.
That werewolf. Those eyes. The fact that he couldn’t pull the trigger.
This is the story of how they found each other again.
·         We sit at this tale with 3,540 words written, and just starting Chapter 3, though I think that chapter one will have to be re-written. Not that the story hadn’t already been this developed when I started it, but more for the fact that it needs more words, and it also needs a better introduction, I feel. It’s really shit, honest.
·         Another point, it’s been two months since there first encounters. But that might change to only one, I can’t honesty figure out who a fanatic would wait that long. Which means I’ll have to change another fact about what they said. But that’s not hard. Not really.
86 words: SmW (Moonlit Wolves #3)
·         Just looking, yeah, the start needs re-done. But I’m thinking of changing it completely for a prologue, and have it the scene from that actual night.
o   So changed that. The prologue, is a look back at that night. Only Phil’s point of view (basically, it’s what I was talking about up there, in the red).
§  It’s actually really hard to write this one. I think because it was there, and wasn’t, from the last one. I have the scene in my head. It’s what started the book, it’s the idea around the last and this book, and yet I can’t write it out.
§  –this part, this scene that I’m writing is the one that plays over and over in my head when I think of this book—these characters.
o    Chapter 1; 2,356 words, is Phil, a full moon later (had it at his second, I can pull it threw that the first was the one that he met him in, since they had that one night they went back out. That could work, though I did mean 2 and that could still be true, I just have to find a reason why it would be.
§  It was true for this one, I had always made this one to be only one month later. Though they talk about him in two moon, even on the last day of the full moon if fucks with them when there mates aren’t in sight.
o   Chapter 2, where we’re sitting. This is Craig again; I cut and paste the first chapter into this one, above what I originally had, since the info from it is needed to understand a little.
Let’s start this up, from where I’m truly meant to start it up.

607 words: Taking Control of my Werewolf (Moonlit Wolves #4)

Tue: because apparently I can’t write a book unless it’s the next one in the series.
TComW (Moonlit Wolves #4)
·         I just wrote in the house (385 w), and though I have a feeling on why it’s like it is, I’ve kinda fucked up a little. Though I think I need to actually draw up the semantics of this house so that I don’t fuck it up more with unreasonable points, or rooms. Though it has a heap, and that point will come out, later….
[Chap one: 1,472]
595 words
·         We stop here, because I had to go pick up my kids and have now lost the momentum I was going with, so I’m grasping at straws right now. And since it’s not the book I’m meant to be writing, well….
·         I have just finished a quick read of Forever with my Werewolf; I found that it was okay. There were some bits that even to me where a little hard to follow, but then, they were in parts that were meant to be like that. His head all fucked up. Thinking different thoughts all at once, so it actually works. Though I might want to change it up a bit. Clean it up. I’m not sure. worse is that I have no one that could read it for me, I don’t know anyone that isn’t either sightly phobic or raised under a church (you see I wouldn’t call my Nan homophobic, she’s of an era and a place—England—that really pushed the church’s and since she’s in her 80’s, it’s just a different time period. And as far as I know, she’s not curl or hatful to any homosexual people. Just wouldn’t want to read about it)

Wed: would you like to meet the people from the Moonlit Wolves series? Would this be something you’re interested in?
If yes, how would you like it done?
·         Questions and answer from me to them?
·         For you to them the questions?
·         Bio’s with an open floor chat about themselves?
·         A round table kinda thing, where there all there with a list of questions they should answer for you. Much more, jump in of other characters opinions?

NOTE: Christmas time has come around, so I might end up a little choppy on what I write, mostly because Christmas shopping, not only for myself, but my mum’s as well.

Thurs: I have to finish book 3 by the end of the year. Hell, I want to finish it before Christmas, but I also have a short story that I want to get up and out of the way. I would really like to have it written for Christmas so that it can go up, even though its book 4.5 it’s going to be done before that book is completed, but then, it’s really just about Christmas with the family, and Christmas isn’t until after that said book, so….

Enough about this shit. I need to finish this book by the end of the year, because the start of 2013 I want to finish off another book that I have started, it’s a young YA and it’s nearly done, 60,000 or so words, and I will be cutting some, and filling in others, so it won’t be much more than what I already have. Still, I’m thinking of having a YA month January 2013. Well see if this happens, but I will be finishing [nameless] in January, I want to be able to give it to my Nan to read in Feb.

But as always I’m just not in the mood. It sucks balls, but for the last two hours I have tried to write, and write and the most I got was 200 words and a hug need to delete them all, because they sucked and they don’t work, and this is mostly for book 4.5. Book 3 has just start there, looking at me, as if I’m deformed in some way. That sideways look that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It sucks and more so I suck for allowing this mess to happen. Maybe it’s time I did something else. Give up for the day, and all that.

·         I have come up with a semi plot line of one of the books in this series to come. yeah!! It’s actually a story that has been playing in my mind of awhile now, I was going to make it a YA books for the LGBT area, but decided that I couldn’t really think of anything else for it to go, so why not make it one of these books?
·         Any it’s book 17 and I titled it; The Werewolf I Know.
·         This one is going to be a little tricky, and I may not be able to push it into erotica because one of the main men is actually 17 yrs old and though that’s not really all that bad, it’s still illegal for males under the age of 18 to have penetrating sex.
·         The POV’s are run by Steven who is the human son of Stephan (#13), we meet both of them in book 10. Whose mother took him away when his father had come out as gay. She couldn’t deal with it. When she got caught up with the wrong man, into drugs a he was nearly raped by said man, his father came and took him back home, Oberon. 
·         Caleb, 18yrs old (only because his b’day had rolled around, he’s only 6 months or so older than Steven) is a childhood friend and they meet up again when he got home. They hadn’t seen each other since Steven left at the age on 15 (so only two years or so, but still….)
258 words: The Werewolf I Know (Moonlit Wolves #17), just to get the feel

Fri: I’m blaming the weather…and Christmas. Bastard things are all up in my face. First with the fact that there’s only 6 weeks to go, and I still need to buy everything, except my sons present from Santa.  Though looking at everything I’ll be fine.
Also, it’s cold as fuck and rainy, and miserable today, all I want to do is crawl back into bed. Worst yesterday since that’s when the rain started. It was overcast and off and on rainy, only it was still hotish, though muggy and that fucked with my chest.
Still its November it shouldn’t be 17oC in Australia, that’s just not fair!!! I miss summer. I miss 40oC Christmas’ I feel like we haven’t had Christmas in five years, because it’s been so cold, and shit. Christmas should be sweaty hot. We should be running around naked, not covered up in layers. It sucks old man’s hairy balls!

927 words: The Werewolf I Know (Moonlit Wolves #17)
            [Chapter one; 1,186]
·         Couldn’t help it, the story is so fresh in my mind. Though at least now that scene that has been playing in my head is gone, at least, it’s no paper (sorta) so it can go away and I won’t forget it. Which I think is a little why it’s still playing.

Sat: ~family obligations~
·         In the car, I had a long while to think (this isn’t uncommon, I heard a lot of authors who claim to come by a lot of their ideas, or have plot points, or things that aren’t working, figured out with a nice drive. Or walk. Whatever)
I was thinking about a lovely, lively reunion between Steven and Caleb in (Moonlit Wolves) book 17 (yeah, because now it’s there, I can’t seem to get rid of it. bitch as it is and all). Anyway, the idea is that when they were younger they were each other’s first of everything. You know, that clichĂ©, but then when Steven had to leave. When he comes back Caleb is now a werewolf and Steven is his mate.
Now I came with two options for this one to turn out.
1.      […] Looking over at Scott, Caleb smiles, “he’s my mate.”
“Yeah? Good luck with that one, Steven’s straight as they come,” Scott replies.
“Yeah…” Caleb’s smile got bigger. Caleb liked the idea of being Steven’s only male lover. He liked that idea to much. Made his chest puff out and everything.
“Caleb!” Steven called out from across the park, he’s legs already moving towards Caleb, he’s smile was too big, he didn’t seem to care about who was around, or what they were about to see. Didn’t seem to care for nothing but reuniting with Caleb. Years ago that would have bothered him, even when he felt the same way. Now, he was over joyed with the reaction.
Stepping forward, Caleb opened his arms, realising with a mixture of disappointment and appreciation, Caleb had become bigger, filing out across the shoulders and threw his hips, he was also a good head taller than the guy he’d fallen in love with as a teen without realising it.
No matter, at this moment the relief came because he could do this.
Grabbing Steven when he leaped into a hug, Caleb pulled him in tight and lifted him up so their mouths where on the same level. As their lips brushed together Steven wrapped his legs around Caleb’s hips and pulled himself even closer together.
They fit like they had years ago.
“Holly shit,” Scott muttered from somewhere behind him as he tightened his arms around Steven.

This is actually how I write my stories, with the ‘[…]’ in spots that need more, but I’m not sure what that could be at the time, or that it’s not really important and my mind needs me to move along. The bracts are sometimes filled with information that needs to go in there.

2.      I’m thinking that the story should have something in it. Something that plausible. Like Caleb breaking Steven’s heart before he leaves.
Though I could have it both ways, that might not actually be the first interaction, maybe that’s the final scene or something and I play the book before it gets to that part.
Hum…..maybe, leave it with me, and I’ll think on it….

Sun: 1,662 words: SmW (Moonlit Wolves #3)
·         It’s looking that I’m going to have to go through and get rid of Chapter 3, because that information, though it’s all got to be there, it’s also got to be completely re-written.
Hmm…maybe I shouldn’t have signed myself up for a prologue; it’s not doing me any favours at the moment.
·         …um, did he use a gun or knife???
·         Yeah!!! Prologue 1,726
·         Next up, we head into Chapter 2, clearing it up, re-writing, maybe, I’ll have to see when I get into it.
--Just a quick read-threw now, and now I don’t think I will need to charge anything. I don’t think I will have to put anything in, or take anything out. It’s not perfect, but then, it’s not anything that hasn’t been said, nor does it really hinder. Actually I think that’s what Craig’s thoughts would be like after a month.

Later tonight…. While watching Salt
·         Name Change: MW #4.5 to Wish you a Wolfy Christmas, not really much better, but I like it better. Puts a smile on my face. And that’s what really matters, isn’t it? Especially ‘round this time a year.
1,088 words: WWC (Moonlit Wolves #4.5)
·         Yet another one that is starting off with a sex scene.
·         I can’t help it, though, it’s the only thing in my head when I think about it. It’s the only thing that needs doing. it’s the only thing that I can think about, this one scene, Matt blanketing Jex up against the brick wall outside Eamon & Chris’ house.

Mon: …for above
·         I’m thinking that even though I didn’t put any chapters in book 1, and it was a 12,000 word book, and I had no intention of adding them to this one. You know, keep the theme that my short stories didn’t need them. And by all rights book 1 doesn’t and even as I’ve tried to put chapters in I just don’t know where they would sit.
This one however, I feel needs them, even if there ends up with only a small handful. So by say that I ended Chapter One on book 4.5 with 180 words
[chap 1; 1,268 w]
Which is also the amount of words that gives me a basic sex scene between to characters. Huh, interesting.

Tue: before we start a quick check in.
Yesterday I talked to my sister about submitting my books to a publisher; I’m talking the Moonlit Wolves series, here, which have to go in blind because I don’t know anyone that would read them. I have no family, or friends, or friends of friends that would read these types of stories.
(I should really think about getting involved in a group, but then I’m probably to chickshit for that. Damn. I’m really not that connected in the writer world)
Anyway, my sister suggested that I walk until after I have a few of my other books looked over by someone else. That way I will know what I do wrong and try and fix it in these novels. That way I’m giving them to a firm without as many problems.
Anyway, she helped me see, with points I hadn’t thought about, and so I won’t be trying to sell these books for at least another six to twelve months. And I’ll be trying to get some of my other types of books.

 356 words: SmW (Moonlit Wolves #3)
·         Huh, I think I might keep it all in, (talking chap 3 in book 3) where I have wrote the first part for the start of it, but then decided to leave it, because I just…it’s just…I just don’t know…fuck!!!
Maybe I should just get rid of it all and start it back up again. Clean sleight and all that bullshit.
·         I’m loving one line that I wrote in the first draft of it, and it’s probably why I want to keep it, keep what I’ve written, because it’s got to make sense and all….

“He finally found something to change his perception of the world he once knew, and it was proving to be right. It was proving to change him without a second thought on his part. Like that one moment woke him up as simply as the Prince kissing Snow White.
Yeah, that was really girly. Craply apt though. Shit. “

...well I like it, and with what’s above it fits, it works, and it describes Craig at the time, but. Well. Yeah. (In my head, that sounds better)
·         Actually, I’ve changed it up in my read threw, and though it isn’t perfect, I’ve decided to keep it.
[Chap 2; 1,474 w]
·         Hum…looking at it, thinking it threw, finishing off the chapter. I feel that Chapter 2 would work better as Chapter one and vice versa.
—done it. Couldn’t find it in me to put more on that chapter (which is not chap 1) it would have just been unneeded added words.
·         I also changed the chapters up. I think it works better that way, better time line, and I don’t have to have heaps of brakes or them walking in silence threw the pine trees. Kinda boring.

Wed: Inspiration hit: 368 words (the intro) in Face in the Mirror (TragicTeen collection #5)
It wasn’t much, not really, but it’s the story. It’s the plot line ended, I know where I’m heading with it. At least, sorta. ‘cause I still have to decide how bad I want this story to go.
1.      To a death, teen suicide—you know that’s high for homosexual teenagers.
2.      A throwaway, Kane doesn’t have a happy home like to being with, so it’s plausible.
3.      Um….
·         I have decided that Shane won’t care. So maybe Mack (both from book 1) could take him in if it’s being kicked out. Either way though, I would defiantly have to get into that point, that abandonment, that self-mockery of something you can’t help.
·         Um….
Okay, leave it with me, it’ll stew and it will become something….

Yeah, I think I’m done for the week. Sorry, but my heads messed up
Stupid sickness

Ending Paragraph
His....”fuck!! I can’t touch you anymore, so fuck off!” he screamed at his dick.
Seeking my Werewolf (moonlit wolves #3) page 11

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