So before we begin we need to take a moment to thanks Draven St. James for organising this hop that is all about celebrating love. With a shout out and congratulation to Loose Id for hitting there 10 year mark.
It Starts with Understanding
It was hard for me to understand how deeply I love. I want to blame most of it on my depression because it dulls so much of my life, and my emotions that I can’t really see them for what I believe they should be.
But they are there. I love quite deeply, it just takes a lot for me to open my heart up and let you in.
I know that’s really not the point, but it is, in a way.
I don’t feel love as if I believe I should. But then what was I originally thinking it was?
Most romance you’ll read will have the same, sticky fingers, or sweaty palms, that spark that wouldn’t go away. That feeling that the person looking at you is seeing only you and no one else.
But that’s not love, it’s lust, that overwhelming need to touch and be touched. That need to be around the other person over, it’s the most overwhelming feeling in the world and it’s what you want to hold onto, and never let go.
But it’s not realistic and so when it fades away and what are you left with?
I want to say love.
I had that moment. I had that time when I the lust started to give and I didn’t want a part of it. I didn’t want to believe it was it, that’s all I got, and I truly believed that I deserved better than that.
The thing was, I was getting everything I deserved. I was getting love.
I was getting a someone who comes home to me every night after work and wants to be there, just sitting in the same room, talking to me about things and bullshit.
I got someone who gave me two children I’ll cherish forever. I got someone who see my faults and plays to them, just to let be believe they don’t truly exists. I got someone I know deep down – a best friend, like I never understood another person could be.
I have someone that would truly mourn my passing and I would mourn his.
And if that isn’t love, in a pure form. In a form that’s more than sex and worshiping, and yet holds those points in the palms for their hands, than I have no clue what love is. At least no clue what it is outside of family, because what I have with my partner isn’t anything like that of family, and yet he is all of it put together
Worth, home, love, lust, loyalty, trust and just someone to poor the bullshit of the world onto and know that he’d bitch along with me, or help calm me down.
He’s a person I will love forever, even if something should happens to pull us apart.
Thanks for taking the time to read, please come along for more from me as I take the week out to celebrate love
Hope you’ll follow along and see what everyone else has to say