Starting Paragraph: Okay, she said, but
being that she didn’t hear the words come out she mustn’t have said them all
too well, though it didn’t seem to matter for seconds after Hue stood, tall and
worried in her doorway.
What I did this week: [warning, it’s long and
full of nonsense]
‘Don’t say I
didn’t warn you,’ whispered on a breath of air rushed to you by magic.
Mon: You
know what I’m getting really annoyed at lately, and it’s an unfair thing, but
still pissing me off anyway.
It’s when authors (and I’m talking the new ones,
since there the ones I read or watch) say ‘get out, do things. Meet people, see
the world’, or hatefully more (yeah...) ‘you need to do what you put your
characters threw.’
Now I know, and they mostly explain this as not
being fully what they do, but...I don’t know, it’s ridiculous. It’s like they
all have sat down, gotten their money, and finally they have a minute or two to
enjoy the world. But didn’t anyone think to remind them that being an author is
a broke mans job.
Really, you don’t get money for it, not unless you
became a best seller from your first book on. Really, you ain’t living high a mighty
when you’re an author, normally, any spare time you have left goes into writing
the book you want published, your cherished work of art. Hell, most of the time
you’re using up sleep time, or family time so that you can write your book and
have it set for others to read.
Really, you lost a lot of time to do anything why
you’re writing a book. So why are all these people coming out and saying—go
out, do something don’t spend all your time behind a desk,’ you know, where you
should be if this is what you want to do.
Is it regret that has them saying this. the whole,
‘Yeah I’m happy that I did this, that I lost all that time because I finally
did it, I made something of myself, but looking back, was it worth it?’
I find that it’s emotions that roll inside you. Who
cares about what they are doing—hell, most of the time your characters are
doing things you couldn’t even think about doing. And most of the time you
don’t particularly want to be doing (like, let’s say, getting chased hunted
threw the night by a killer. Or jumping head first off a cliff because it’s the
only way you have a percent chance of living). The whole point of books, like
it or not, is that you put your characters threw things that you wouldn’t do, ever! So why are all these
people going around and saying to go out and do that?
Hell, I’m shit scared of heights, and one of my
characters just scaled a cliff face, should I go and do that so that I can feel
what he was feeling? Would I even at the time, he isn’t scared of heights, I
am, how do you think that titbit will colour my experience?
But emotionally, you are right there with them. The
feelings, the fear, the relief, the....it’s all there, rolling around your
head. It may not become physically, that all depends on how deeply you are in
this characters head to have that rapid emotion roll through your body, but
your mind. Right there with them.
And you need to be. Your head needs to be with them,
needs to have this part that’s fully in your book, so that the emotions that
they are feeling are real, that the reactions they are showing are real. hell,
if you are the type that has the emotions run through your body, make sure
there’s a mirror, or even your camera handy so that you can have a quick look
and see how your face lines up to it, if you’re having trouble with one thing
of another.
I also find this as being my biggest problem when
writing; it’s a reason that in these early days that I don’t write when my
children are at home. because they interrupt and you have to help them out, but
if you haven’t finished that emotional rollercoaster with your characters—even
more so if you’re planning on going back and writing again—that’s where your
head sits when you’re dealing with your family, friends. Hell, the person on
the other end of the phone, has to deal with that mood you’ve put yourself in
while writing.
And it is, you put yourself in that mood, and it’s
won’t go away until you finish it up with the character your writing, because,
no matter how much your try to push your work away, they don’t go. The
characters, the part you’re up to, sits in some dark part of your head, working
itself out, building itself up and you’re the one stuck in the mood.
It’s easy when the moods are fear, fear can be
pushed away, because there isn’t anything to fear. It’s the scarier emotions
that can’t be squished.
Okay, okay, so Monday (which is today) isn’t really
known for my ability to write. It’s more for the fact that it’s my daughters
day off and I, for a long while, was under this strict, no writing when kids
are around thing, and so with just her (saying this, she doesn’t really leave
me a chance to sit down and write without pestering me), so today is usually
procrastination to the shit house. Not that I can’t do that fine on my own, but
still.
Today I’ve realised that even though I tell you guys
the word count of my books I don’t actually write that way. I don’t have this
ideal view of things that comes in numbers of words I’ve jotted down on page,
and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not. Mostly because I just don’t care
how many words I get down, my goal is all page number.
You see, I look at a book, that I’m writing, in
turns of how I want it to look when it’s done. This means fullness, and all
that crap, and I don’t particularly know how many words goes for how many pages
(it’s something we’ll learn together on this part). So I say to myself—and
we’ll talk about it in turns of the book I’m writing now, which is to be an
adult paranormal romance, the first one actually. So I look at what’s around.
Mostly when you’re looking at romances, you don’t see many thick ones, and
honestly I don’t particularly like reading really long ones anyway, so it’s
both what I see that’s out there and personal preference. It’s also the added
bonus that I don’t have to write as much, yeah.
Anyway, they are between 250 pages and 300, right,
and this is in those tiny tiny books. So that’s my goal, really, when I write
any books, I want my books to hold that many pages as a min. Some max, but then
we get right into shit no one but me cares about (yeah, I know, same can be
said here, but your still reading it, right?). Anyway, so my goal by looking at
the start of the book is that I want an outside of 150 pages.
This means that whenever I get to a bit in the book
that I can skip over, for whatever reason (in this book it mostly means the
main course of the sex scene, I always do then togetherish and when its nearly
done. The sex scenes to me, in these particular books are the key and need to
match the personalities much better than anything else.
Anyway, so when I get to parts to skip, I can give
myself a page life to what I’m skipping.
So with a little bit of checking, using a page that
was written with the least amount of words (weirdly, it’s more like it’s got a
lot of talking and short bits of thoughts. But a page is around 750 words, 2 is
1500 or so, so it seems that most people strive to write just over a page a
day. which I do every—most—time I put fingers to keyboard, I get about three to
six when using a pen and paper but that’s a little different, also it’s lass
words because of the bigger and messier writing style.
So I’m going to stop talking now, and most likely
the rest of my week won’t be me talking to you about crap, just telling you if
anything interesting happened that day or not.
Tues: I’m
sick **cough, cough, groan...**
Really, and truly, I can’t think of anything but the
headache that wants to explode my head and the feeling that my face may or may
not look be swollen (it’s a thought) I’m so stuffed up and sick that I can’t
think....
I did write (yesterday, nightish) about a quarter of
a page of another story (my real procrastination at work) it’s for the same set
series, but a different series inside it. Though I don’t think I will keep it, it
really depends on how everything set with that series, and the book before it.
Wed: arrhhh,
so hard to get started when you’re sitting waiting for the mailman (sorry, person) to come by to give me a package
that should but probably won’t come today. suckage as it is I’m being a pansy
without ringing and finding out where the hell they are. But then again, I
still have a few more days before it’s reached its BE HERE time, so.... still,
it’s me being a pussy, and my mind all fucked up waiting for it.
I’m also finding that I’m in a bit of a funk. Both
reading and writing. I’m not sure if I could actually write anything I wanted
to write without it being highly cliché and gushy (I mean laughing deep in your
tummy, vomit gagging, laugh), it’s not that I’m feeling this way, but I’m in
that mood I’m all cringe worthy and I don’t want it to be something that you
like, not really. I don’t mind reading it, really, honestly, I actually like reading it, but I don’t want to be
known for writing it. I don’t think I could stay in that mushy type of lovey
mood while I write book after book. Thanks but no thanks.
I also have this BIG problem that it doesn’t sit
whether the characters I’m writing or the mood I’m trying to set. at the moment
everything that I have tried to write is coming out like something of The Bold
and The Beautiful, you know, that week round I love you, and it’s not something
I need, not when the mood isn’t seeing that high level tension, or massive
drama.
But do know this; I am honestly trying today, unlike
last when just staring at the scene had my eyes watering and my head
pounding.
I’ve been juggling with this for....let’s say nearly
the whole book and I have finally gotten to a point that it has a meaning that
I have to change it.
What it? You might ask. Her name. I don’t like what
I’ve named my main character of this story. I’ve given her one of those cliché
names that goes with everyone and I’m having major second thoughts on the whole
thing. But having these thoughts still hasn’t given me a better name than what
I already have. Which, to be honest, is the reason that I haven’t changed it in
the first place.
Sigh.
I really don’t know what to do, but then that’s a
theme for me lately.
Okay, so today I did a bit of cut and paste, its 5
pages—3,475 words. And it may or may not stay. I’m swinging more towards it
staying, but then we’ll have to wait and see how things work out. worst comes
to worse, it will just have a little different wording and information, but at
the end of the day this is where I’m feeling it’s going to sit, more so than
what I had thinking. I also feel like it fits, like this part I wrote was meant
to be there anyway. It’s just the tone I’m not sure about—his—that is. But will
see.
Thur: another
day that’s too cold and wet to want to do anything, if I had anything to do,
which I don’t. Another great day for writing, really, the days that make you
want to go out and take in the fresh air, they are the worst to write, the ones
that make you think if there really isn’t anything better to do then sit here
and write (though is that really fair for me to say? I’m not sure, since my
writing and my need for fresh air are riding a flat line at the moment.
Anyway, I’m watching Sherlock Homes the movie, and
if you don’t know this, I’m a fan of it, though I’ve never read the books
(there two hard for me, seriously, and I’m not really into that high crime,
when it comes to me books)
Anyway, I really liked the move when it first came
out (i still do but...) even though I don’t particularly like Jude Law or
Robert Downy Jr. really, I’m not a fan, and I won’t, even though I thought the
casting was actually quite good, they did a good job and I felt they did the
part well. what I don’t like, and I think this is because of the English series
of Sherlock Homes, is what’s writing, I just never got the way Wilson is with
Sherlock (the movie Wilson, not the show, I love the way the show sit, I like
the relationship between then, that....bromance). I have never liked the way
that Wilson always walks away from him, but that’s a writing thing, nothing
more, and I don’t really know if this would be different from the books or the
same. I should, you know, pick up the books and see, but it’s really hard for
me to read them.
Anyway, the reason I’m talking about this is, well
one, I do actually like it, it’s what I’m watching while writing and well, I’ve
already wanted to talk about it. And there’s no one left to talk to it about.
Anyway, oh, yes, two, I think that this era of
digital technology in movies (and TV) is a good time for this type of show,
this melodramatic action that could easily been seen though nothing more than
over talk or simple looks, but is made so much better by the power to put
little things in, and slow things down—okay, I’m getting into talking about the
show then the movie, but it’s so much better, really, you have to agree, and if
you don’t, you haven’t watched it yet (or you don’t have the same taste as me,
and hey, I can live with that. it’s what’s great about life, having the power
to have your own taste and them being completely different from anyone else’s).
Oh, and hey, I’m still waiting for those books, I’m
thinking, though that tomorrow is going
to be the day I’ll ring and see, since it’s the last day and if I get three
books in that one day? Well, I’ll tell them it’s all good. But then maybe I
could send an email today, or Friday (since I might need it checking so it
makes sense) and then Monday or Tues I’ll ring, if I haven’t heard back).
Errh, I feel worse than I did yesterday and I’m
blaming both the weather the fact that I’m pissed I don’t have the books I’ve
ordered, paid for and this head cold that just wants me to be aware that it’s
there. Really, shitty.
I just finished watching Kony 2012, which you might
now if you read my blog, I’m not that great on full blown speeches, or the
spectacle of, ah...it was there a minute ago, you know when they yell about
stuff in the middle of the street?!—protests!! Thank you.
Still, I do think that something that has gone out
of their way to create a buzz it should be heard and told to all that will
listen, and being that I have a way to spill the beans that doesn’t make me
have to get off my couch I will.
Hell, if they had t-shirts I’d buy one, or two, just
because it’s going to a good cause, maybe they should look into that, people
will do that.
One moment, does a sward/large knife make a clingy
sound when it’s hitting something that isn’t metal??
If I go of the Sherlock Homes movie, I’d say yes,
but does it, really?
Yep, I could say this post is a show of my
marvellous procrastination abilities, wouldn’t you?
Perspective is something you can find threw writing.
I wasn’t able to write anything from the book that I’m meant to be writing at
the moment, instead I slid my attention over to a novella I’m writing. And ones
that I write whenever I’m sitting in a bit of a duller view in life, because
that’s what they need.
They are also great because of the family; the
people in them aren’t the nicely. The families, friends aren’t the greatest.
Really their lives are just shit ass and they make me see how mine isn’t all
that bad.
Though boring is a word for it, I live too much
inside my head to start with to need something extreme to have a great life.
Really, when your head is on your head and it can go anywhere why do I need to?
Okay, so today; wrote 1,865 words in Bye Roman, Love
Julius which is a story in my TragicTeen collection that I’m writing between
writing.
I say this because it’s how I write these books. A
but will come to me and I’ll write it, mostly because I’m in the write mood for
it (you know sad) and so, that’s how they are written, in bits and piece over a
lot of time. they are painful to write (or the first one was, because it went
more...never mind. but still, you might not think much of them, but they are hard
to write and even harder to get into that teenage depressive mood and not have
it hit directly at my home life.
I’m also still, really annoyed that my books haven’t
gotten here yet. I’m actually that pissed that I know I have to do something
about it. but I also know that the company that I order from (angus &
Robertson) are good and generally ship everything, or at least they have with
me, so maybe it’s just taking a longer time for them to get it.
Fri: so,
for the whole book thing. I wrote a email thing to then to ask what was
happening and what I get back (not that I really thought much more than this) a
email about the fact that they get them from overseas and it takes longer than
4 weeks and something about the fact that the post office holds them sometimes,
like I wouldn’t know if they did have them. Really, they always leave a note
about that shit, and since I have been looking out for them chronically, I
think I would notice a little red slip telling me I have a package waiting for
me.
So maybe next week. Sigh. It just sucks ‘cause I really
want them to be here NOW.
Seventeen pages (so....34 pages) is enough time to
get the love make a little lust and flirtatious with each other right? it’s not
like this is the first time the hooked up and I’m hoping that time was very
tense and hot, but this second time, the one they will remember, the one that
will bring them through the rest of the book. It’s not too long a time period,
is it? No long enough?
Eh, I don’t know. Crap. Oh, well, I can only do what
I’ve got. But if you’ve got an opinion than let’s have it?!
Yum, Heath Ledger in 10
Things I Hate About You....old school these days but still it’s a
great ass movie. And he is huhuHoooot!!
Yeah!!! I got them. All 3. Yeah! The postman even
put them near my door. Mind the package that it was about to come open, still,
he didn’t have too.
My love goes out to all Post people who do a good
job—the rest of you can suck balls.
Sat; a Quick End chat: I’m finding that no matter what I do, how I look at things this isn’t
working, not the way I’m trying to do it. I mean, not the fact that I’m forcing
myself to write a series, a book—hell, isn’t that what most people do. though I
might say, that a lot of people probably don’t have as many story going as I do
right now, do they?
Anyway, so I’m done with forcing myself.
At this moment I’m trying to write book 1 (I think is
will be that way, really, both book 1 & 2 can be put either way they want
to book 3 is the one that matters where it’s placed, and will be the only one
that matters this way—in this series) but all I can think about is book like 5
or maybe 6 depending on the people that end up reading the stories, really,
people that one swings to threesomes where the female is the odd one out.
Fun, really, I’m finding it fun at the moment, when
I’m working out how it all fits and stuff, so from next week I’m just going to
write the book that’s in my mind, but the second won’t be finished until I have
the first 3 books sitting as first drafts. So it’s going to be a long one.
I think that I need to work on the series as a
series set straight and at the end well, I don’t know.
But I am thinking that I will post the first 3
chapters when they come, which this first book I’m working on is there, sorta,
there’s a spot missing but I might leave it bear and let you look and then
update it when I have it finished. What’cha think?
Ending
paragraph: Hell
that was something. And only with his hand. Shit the real thing might kill him.
He nearly laughed with how much he was
looking forward to that.
Beauty of
Summer, prequel
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